DipKing
YAYYYY!!
Hey guys! I haven't been around the forums for about a month now. Just been really busy with nursing school. Things have been going well for me recently. I have nothing but good to look forwards to. Having said that, I wanted to reflect on my experiences with early AAS use, both the positive and the negative aspects of such an event. Because it is an event, and not something to be taken lightly. Many young guys go in thinking it's like trying out a new preworkout mix. I cannot begin to explain how wrong they are and would like to share my experiences to perhaps sway them in the right direction.
First, my story:
I began my life changing journey of AAS use after my team placed 2nd at nationals in 2011. As some of you may remember, I used to be a college gymnast. I had just turned 20. Our placement was entirely my fault. I had made a simply mistake on floor and it was enough to take us out of the lead. I fell into a deep depression that lasted for over two years. Because of this I became very susceptible to suggestion, and soon started relying on alcohol to feel better about myself. Word travels fast in the collegiate circuit with so few athletes, and I was told several members of the team we lost to were using steroids. At the time I was totally against the thought. Something seemed morally wrong with the idea. But as time went on, it seemed more and more appealing. Finally, one of my friends told me he meet a guy at a party who can get some. I didn't know anything about steroids. Period. And I mean absolutely nothing. I was in great shape of course being a collegiate gymnast, but was only 155 lbs. at 5'8 and was no weightlifter. The guy sold me a 10mL vial of test enanthate at 250mg/mL for $160. No AI, no PCT, no bloods. Nothing but test. Looking back on it I laugh. My first gluteal injection was one of the most nerve wracking moments of my life. I had no idea if I was doing it right. I used a 21 gauge veterinary needle I bought at Tractor Supply. The bruising was intense. I used up the vial in 5 weeks and bought another. I remember the guy also tried to sell me a 10mL vial of deca for an extra $200, saying it was a decent kick start. What? I wasn't seeing anything yet, so being the genius I am shot up a gram in one week. Still nothing. That didn't mean everyone else was seeing something though. People began to talk. I had gone through the 2nd vial in only 2 weeks. I discovered my source was cheating me and I refused to talk to him. I heard later he went to prison for rape.
Then, I met another guy through a friend of mine. After a 3 hour drive he set me up with 40mL of tren and 50mL of test cyp, no PCT, no AI, for only $400. I'm ashamed to say I used the savings bonds my grandmother had given us as children to pay for our college to purchase my gear. I had gotten a glimpse of a high. I wanted more. But more than anything I wanted to win. I had to win. I started using tren a at 120mg/ed and test cyp at 100mg/ed almost immediately. I blew up from 165 lbs. to 190 lbs within 6 weeks. Granted, some of that was water of course. The feeling was unreal. With my new drug use came a new lifestyle. I would party starting Thursday night and wouldn't stop until I felt like shit Sunday morning. I lost my virginity during this time. Sometimes 2 girls a night. It was primordial. I stopped showing up to any class before noon. Everyone knew. People who didn't know me knew. My little sister who attended the same university became afraid of me. Her boyfriend at the time had slapped her and I pounded his face in. Anytime I saw the guy on campus after that he would put his head down like a sad puppy. It was quickly going to my head and I was starting to lose it. My gymnastics was suffering with the extra weight. My strength may had been retarded, but my endurance was crap. I couldn't get through a routine without my calves or biceps feeling like they were going to bust. No blood test were done, but I did take my blood pressure. It was something like 180/72. I might as well had been a stroke victim. I couldn't walk through Walmart without breaking a sweat. My breathing was that of a morbid obese man. Worst of all, I had started noticing my nipples were getting itchy. Than puffy. Than the lactating started. I will tell you, no man should ever lactate.
By week 6 I had run dry of any candy. Then the crash happened. With no PCT/AI, I dropped from my triumphant 190 lbs. to 168 faster than I had gained it. I was depressed. Felt weak. I didn't feel like I could be seen in public. I remember taking hot showers to try and force my veins out periodically. Pathetic. To satiate my desires I pawned several possessions and purchased more tren a. No test this time. I got through 3 days before my parents stepped in. They had been concerned because I hadn't come home or called in almost 3 months and my sister had told them of my recent transformation. So I had to come clean and throw away the gear. I was clean for a few months, and my tumbling ability actually reached its prime during this recession when I threw a triple back on floor. But then I got that text about Turinabol and Clenbuterol. It took me a week of deliberating to make the drive and pick it up. My parents didn't trust me anymore, so made me cancel my bank account and joint it with there's so they could see what I was doing with my money. I did this oral only cycles off and on for almost 5 months. Once again, no PCT/AI. I even did Test Suspension with one cycle preworkout. Over the summer I did another tren/test cycle for 8 weeks this time. Once again, no PCT/AI. After every cycle I would have a dramatic drop in weight and strength. I can only imagine what was happening to my HPTA. I ran another tren/test/tbol cycle 3 months after that. I was a monster. The feeling of using 140 lbs. dumbbells at 205 lbs. for flat press was amazing at the time. I was the biggest. Now I know there will always be someone bigger. My life had taken a sharp decline. I had flunk out of school, lost my gymnastics, torn my Achilles tendon, and was working at a department store 60 hours a week. All my earnings went towards my pursuit. I had the idea I was going to go pro. Be one of the best. A god with the shape of Kevin Levrone but the size of a sex baby between Markus Ruhl and Paul Dillet. In reality, I couldn't see that I don't have what it takes to go pro, and at 5'8 I wasn't going to get very big. But it was an image in my mind. It was who I thought I wanted to be. Around this time I joined Steroidology and began absorbing the vast amount of knowledge here. It really scared me. What had I done to myself? Everything I had done in the last 2 years was wrong. How screwed was I, and was there even a point in stopping now? I was too afraid to tell the other members of my practices, the absence of PCT/AI; oral only cycles, early tren use. My age.
But then I met a girl while nude modeling for the art department at the university I used to attend. She was shy and nice. The youth pastor at her church. We started dating and after a few months talked about my AAS use. Luckily, she talked me out of it and I haven't been on since. Now I'm 22, 23 in April. I can no longer practice gymnastics, but still lift weights 4x a week. I was sub 185 lbs. for several months. It was very disheartening going to the gym during this time. My strength was abysmal. Then, one day I felt my balls sting. I shit you not. Those jewels stung so bad I fell to the floor and rolled around. After this I slowly began to gain weight each month. Now a year later, I'm at 204 lbs. at about 12% bodyfat at 5'8. Nothing special, but I try. My diet is immensely better. I plan and calculate everything I do regarding training, diet, sleep, and supplements. Still a little top heavy, but I've really been concentrating on my leg development the last few months. They were seriously lacking with the Achilles tear, and I've gained about 5 lbs. that I believe contribute to this development. My strength has increase though quite substantially across all lifts. I'm not throwing around 140 lbs. dumbbells anymore, but I'm not ego lifting anymore either. My blood test last October or so put my test at 396. I'm up to schedule another soon to see where I'm at. I have good feelings about it. I don't plan to use AAS anytime soon. It is something that I think about from time to time, but I have no reason to use AAS. I do not compete, and simply lift weights because I enjoy it. As of now, I can still make albeit slow, but steady strength and weight gains, and refrain from doing anything illegal or that would upset my family or effect my health.
I consider myself lucky for the abuse I put my body through, being continuously on and off for 2 years. Do I think AAS use is wrong? No, in the proper context. I think my use was wrong, not only my execution but also my goal. I don't think guys under a certain age or development should really use them. I would even go as far to say guys without a motive. I was surprised at how far I was able to go without them, and am excited at what's to come in my development. That's not to say I see anything wrong with a goal driven man, with the proper experience and knowledge backing him, to use AAS. That's his business. Really what I want younger guys to come away from reading this is that you don't have to do steroids to build a physique you want. If you were my age when I started, you're just a boy. You're not even a man yet, so you have a boy's body. Give it time to mature and the frame and structure will come with it. There's no such thing as a plateau at that age. There is no way you could possibly understand what you're getting yourself into. You're young, stupid, and ignorant. You have no comprehension of the passing of time. There are a lot of younger guys who stalk this forums. If I could reach just one of those guys before they make a mistake like I made, writing this trash post was worth it.
First, my story:
I began my life changing journey of AAS use after my team placed 2nd at nationals in 2011. As some of you may remember, I used to be a college gymnast. I had just turned 20. Our placement was entirely my fault. I had made a simply mistake on floor and it was enough to take us out of the lead. I fell into a deep depression that lasted for over two years. Because of this I became very susceptible to suggestion, and soon started relying on alcohol to feel better about myself. Word travels fast in the collegiate circuit with so few athletes, and I was told several members of the team we lost to were using steroids. At the time I was totally against the thought. Something seemed morally wrong with the idea. But as time went on, it seemed more and more appealing. Finally, one of my friends told me he meet a guy at a party who can get some. I didn't know anything about steroids. Period. And I mean absolutely nothing. I was in great shape of course being a collegiate gymnast, but was only 155 lbs. at 5'8 and was no weightlifter. The guy sold me a 10mL vial of test enanthate at 250mg/mL for $160. No AI, no PCT, no bloods. Nothing but test. Looking back on it I laugh. My first gluteal injection was one of the most nerve wracking moments of my life. I had no idea if I was doing it right. I used a 21 gauge veterinary needle I bought at Tractor Supply. The bruising was intense. I used up the vial in 5 weeks and bought another. I remember the guy also tried to sell me a 10mL vial of deca for an extra $200, saying it was a decent kick start. What? I wasn't seeing anything yet, so being the genius I am shot up a gram in one week. Still nothing. That didn't mean everyone else was seeing something though. People began to talk. I had gone through the 2nd vial in only 2 weeks. I discovered my source was cheating me and I refused to talk to him. I heard later he went to prison for rape.
Then, I met another guy through a friend of mine. After a 3 hour drive he set me up with 40mL of tren and 50mL of test cyp, no PCT, no AI, for only $400. I'm ashamed to say I used the savings bonds my grandmother had given us as children to pay for our college to purchase my gear. I had gotten a glimpse of a high. I wanted more. But more than anything I wanted to win. I had to win. I started using tren a at 120mg/ed and test cyp at 100mg/ed almost immediately. I blew up from 165 lbs. to 190 lbs within 6 weeks. Granted, some of that was water of course. The feeling was unreal. With my new drug use came a new lifestyle. I would party starting Thursday night and wouldn't stop until I felt like shit Sunday morning. I lost my virginity during this time. Sometimes 2 girls a night. It was primordial. I stopped showing up to any class before noon. Everyone knew. People who didn't know me knew. My little sister who attended the same university became afraid of me. Her boyfriend at the time had slapped her and I pounded his face in. Anytime I saw the guy on campus after that he would put his head down like a sad puppy. It was quickly going to my head and I was starting to lose it. My gymnastics was suffering with the extra weight. My strength may had been retarded, but my endurance was crap. I couldn't get through a routine without my calves or biceps feeling like they were going to bust. No blood test were done, but I did take my blood pressure. It was something like 180/72. I might as well had been a stroke victim. I couldn't walk through Walmart without breaking a sweat. My breathing was that of a morbid obese man. Worst of all, I had started noticing my nipples were getting itchy. Than puffy. Than the lactating started. I will tell you, no man should ever lactate.
By week 6 I had run dry of any candy. Then the crash happened. With no PCT/AI, I dropped from my triumphant 190 lbs. to 168 faster than I had gained it. I was depressed. Felt weak. I didn't feel like I could be seen in public. I remember taking hot showers to try and force my veins out periodically. Pathetic. To satiate my desires I pawned several possessions and purchased more tren a. No test this time. I got through 3 days before my parents stepped in. They had been concerned because I hadn't come home or called in almost 3 months and my sister had told them of my recent transformation. So I had to come clean and throw away the gear. I was clean for a few months, and my tumbling ability actually reached its prime during this recession when I threw a triple back on floor. But then I got that text about Turinabol and Clenbuterol. It took me a week of deliberating to make the drive and pick it up. My parents didn't trust me anymore, so made me cancel my bank account and joint it with there's so they could see what I was doing with my money. I did this oral only cycles off and on for almost 5 months. Once again, no PCT/AI. I even did Test Suspension with one cycle preworkout. Over the summer I did another tren/test cycle for 8 weeks this time. Once again, no PCT/AI. After every cycle I would have a dramatic drop in weight and strength. I can only imagine what was happening to my HPTA. I ran another tren/test/tbol cycle 3 months after that. I was a monster. The feeling of using 140 lbs. dumbbells at 205 lbs. for flat press was amazing at the time. I was the biggest. Now I know there will always be someone bigger. My life had taken a sharp decline. I had flunk out of school, lost my gymnastics, torn my Achilles tendon, and was working at a department store 60 hours a week. All my earnings went towards my pursuit. I had the idea I was going to go pro. Be one of the best. A god with the shape of Kevin Levrone but the size of a sex baby between Markus Ruhl and Paul Dillet. In reality, I couldn't see that I don't have what it takes to go pro, and at 5'8 I wasn't going to get very big. But it was an image in my mind. It was who I thought I wanted to be. Around this time I joined Steroidology and began absorbing the vast amount of knowledge here. It really scared me. What had I done to myself? Everything I had done in the last 2 years was wrong. How screwed was I, and was there even a point in stopping now? I was too afraid to tell the other members of my practices, the absence of PCT/AI; oral only cycles, early tren use. My age.
But then I met a girl while nude modeling for the art department at the university I used to attend. She was shy and nice. The youth pastor at her church. We started dating and after a few months talked about my AAS use. Luckily, she talked me out of it and I haven't been on since. Now I'm 22, 23 in April. I can no longer practice gymnastics, but still lift weights 4x a week. I was sub 185 lbs. for several months. It was very disheartening going to the gym during this time. My strength was abysmal. Then, one day I felt my balls sting. I shit you not. Those jewels stung so bad I fell to the floor and rolled around. After this I slowly began to gain weight each month. Now a year later, I'm at 204 lbs. at about 12% bodyfat at 5'8. Nothing special, but I try. My diet is immensely better. I plan and calculate everything I do regarding training, diet, sleep, and supplements. Still a little top heavy, but I've really been concentrating on my leg development the last few months. They were seriously lacking with the Achilles tear, and I've gained about 5 lbs. that I believe contribute to this development. My strength has increase though quite substantially across all lifts. I'm not throwing around 140 lbs. dumbbells anymore, but I'm not ego lifting anymore either. My blood test last October or so put my test at 396. I'm up to schedule another soon to see where I'm at. I have good feelings about it. I don't plan to use AAS anytime soon. It is something that I think about from time to time, but I have no reason to use AAS. I do not compete, and simply lift weights because I enjoy it. As of now, I can still make albeit slow, but steady strength and weight gains, and refrain from doing anything illegal or that would upset my family or effect my health.
I consider myself lucky for the abuse I put my body through, being continuously on and off for 2 years. Do I think AAS use is wrong? No, in the proper context. I think my use was wrong, not only my execution but also my goal. I don't think guys under a certain age or development should really use them. I would even go as far to say guys without a motive. I was surprised at how far I was able to go without them, and am excited at what's to come in my development. That's not to say I see anything wrong with a goal driven man, with the proper experience and knowledge backing him, to use AAS. That's his business. Really what I want younger guys to come away from reading this is that you don't have to do steroids to build a physique you want. If you were my age when I started, you're just a boy. You're not even a man yet, so you have a boy's body. Give it time to mature and the frame and structure will come with it. There's no such thing as a plateau at that age. There is no way you could possibly understand what you're getting yourself into. You're young, stupid, and ignorant. You have no comprehension of the passing of time. There are a lot of younger guys who stalk this forums. If I could reach just one of those guys before they make a mistake like I made, writing this trash post was worth it.
