dialtone
Moderator
It seems that whenever we go through hard times, we let that struggle define us...our problems become our identity. It's one of the hardest things to keep this from happening. When we face a dilemma or experience some form of trauma (emotional, psychological, physical, etc.) it takes all that we have to maintain our lives as they were before the trauma. Failure is almost inevitable. As a result, the trauma we experienced begins to consume us, even though the actual event is over and we survived....for the most part...well, we are at least still alive.
I know a lot of you guys, including myself, have experienced a lot of very difficult times, particularly with women. Some of us have lost our jobs, our kids, our physique, our health due to some of these experiences. And again, these side effects of the event only make it worse. But how do we continue to do the things that make us who we are when we feel that we have taken such a blow that we can never be whole again? You go to the gym...you talk to your friends...you try to get some work done...you wash your car....you meet new people...nothing feels right.
I can say now, finally after a couple years, I am on the other side of such trauma, and more importantly, on the other side of the side effects of the trauma. It took a very long time, but I am myself again. How did I do it? I found no interest in the things I typically would do. So I tried new things...took up yoga, dancing, reading for fun, and I quit feeling like I had to continue being something that I wasn't. I began to gain attention from those I would meet and each compliment slowly built up my confidence. With this regained confidence, I started doing the things I used to do with pride. I've always been good at fitness so I started pushing myself harder than I have in my entire life. Started helping people with their training and diets which made me feel important again. I've also always been a musician so I started playing music again, meeting other musicians and building that community again. I started working harder - I've always been good at my line of work and when I came back to it after two years of a depressed hiatus, I was revitalized and creative again. What ended up happening after revisiting these old talents was that I realized I was much better at them because I had learned so much from what I went through. Not only that, but with this confidence and pride, I became much more attractive as a person. People, particularly women, all of the sudden started crawling out of the wood work to get to know me...to find out what all the fuss was about.
Sometimes shit happens, but it only happens for a moment. Use those moments to learn and prepare for the upcoming times when things are so good your face will hurt from smiling so much. Because the thing is, the worst is always behind you, whatever you take from those times makes you stronger for the next...you just have to let go of the rest.
I know a lot of you guys, including myself, have experienced a lot of very difficult times, particularly with women. Some of us have lost our jobs, our kids, our physique, our health due to some of these experiences. And again, these side effects of the event only make it worse. But how do we continue to do the things that make us who we are when we feel that we have taken such a blow that we can never be whole again? You go to the gym...you talk to your friends...you try to get some work done...you wash your car....you meet new people...nothing feels right.
I can say now, finally after a couple years, I am on the other side of such trauma, and more importantly, on the other side of the side effects of the trauma. It took a very long time, but I am myself again. How did I do it? I found no interest in the things I typically would do. So I tried new things...took up yoga, dancing, reading for fun, and I quit feeling like I had to continue being something that I wasn't. I began to gain attention from those I would meet and each compliment slowly built up my confidence. With this regained confidence, I started doing the things I used to do with pride. I've always been good at fitness so I started pushing myself harder than I have in my entire life. Started helping people with their training and diets which made me feel important again. I've also always been a musician so I started playing music again, meeting other musicians and building that community again. I started working harder - I've always been good at my line of work and when I came back to it after two years of a depressed hiatus, I was revitalized and creative again. What ended up happening after revisiting these old talents was that I realized I was much better at them because I had learned so much from what I went through. Not only that, but with this confidence and pride, I became much more attractive as a person. People, particularly women, all of the sudden started crawling out of the wood work to get to know me...to find out what all the fuss was about.
Sometimes shit happens, but it only happens for a moment. Use those moments to learn and prepare for the upcoming times when things are so good your face will hurt from smiling so much. Because the thing is, the worst is always behind you, whatever you take from those times makes you stronger for the next...you just have to let go of the rest.
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