71Avido
Waiting to die.
I wanted to start a thread for some awesome Dr. Swole stories that have been collected from the net.
Feel free to make up or post some of your own "Dr. Swole" adventures.
Feel free to make up or post some of your own "Dr. Swole" adventures.
Dr. Swole said:OUTBACK STEAKHOUSE
After our grueling leg day (night), I headed down to the local Outback with my training partner, Lex. A few steaks, mounds of potatoes, cold beer, and laughs were on the agenda for the evening. Getting pussy was not, but when you are THE alpha male, it's always a possibility.
So after the meal, and taking a huge dump in the men's room, we are paying the bill when Lex motions over to the bar. Couldn't believe what I saw. Four hotties laughing it up with a couple of college frat boys. I took off my aviators to get a better look at the guys.
Me: <squinting> Yep, just as I suspected, looks to be 13, maybe 14 inch biceps?
Lex: You thinking what I'm thinking?
Me: <grinning> Lets do it.
Me and Lex do the lat flare walk over to the bar area, sleeves rolled up on our 18 and 17.5 inch pythons, taking a seat nearby the aforementioned crew. I took out of my pocket my "trick money"; $100 dollar bills on each end, with about 25 singles in the middle. One of the girls saw this and flocked (If muscles are #1 on women's wish list, money is number 2 on their sleazy gold digging agenda).
Girl1: Hey baby! You gonna buy me a drink?
Me: <pulling down my aviators a bit> F**k would I do that? Do I look like your boyfriend or something?
Girl1: What's your problem? Figured your cheap ass could spare a drink with all that cash you're carrying.
Me: <condescendingly> Well apparently that's not the case, Shirley Temple. (She was wearing a Temple University sweatshirt) Run along to your skinny frat friends. You aint getting none of this (I flash the wad of cash) and you aint getting none of this (flashes 18 inch python)
<She runs back to her friends. Lex knows what's going on and gives me a wink. Not two minutes later, the whole group returns.>
Frat Boy: I'll be buying all you ladies a drink tonight, cuz I'm a nice guy.
Me: <takes a shot of tequila> More like an AFC if you ask me, chump.
Girls: What's an AFC?
Me: You wanna know what an AFC is? Follow me girls. <Me and Lex walk out the door, not looking back but knowing they will follow>
We take them across the street to an internet cafe. I try to log onto bodybuilding.com but its not working (apparently you have to PAY to use the internet at these cafes? I usually wouldnt be caught dead at one of those places. The depressed emo loser thing doesnt get you hot pussy)
Me: Give me $5 so I can use this piece of s**t
Girl3: You have $2500 in your pocket, why cant you pay for it?
Me: I'm out of here. I cant deal with--
<All of a sudden girl 4 takes a 5 dollar bill out and i put it in the computer. I log onto the Sauce Head sticky>
Me: <grinning> Read up, ladies.
The next few minutes, I hear the girls excitedly screaming "Oh my GOD, those frat guys WERE AFC's! And you guys are Alpha Male PUA's!". I grin at lex, knowing that we would be getting laid tonight. The girls read for about ten more minutes (even putting in 5 dollars to read more) before we all head back to the Outback.
Frat Guy 2: So about that beer?
<Sorority Girl 2 takes the beer he was drinking and pours it over his head.>
SG2: Get lost, you f**king AFC's!
FG2: What the f**K?
SG3: <rubbing my chest> yeah, we found some alpha males. Go back to the frat house and jerk off!
<With that, they leave, my grinning face the last thing they see. Me and lex piled the girls into my BMW and head over to their sorority house.>
That night, I was pleasured for hours by two sorority girls: a cute lil asian and her blonde friend, while Lex had the other two. Lex wakes me up at 7AM, telling me I need to drop him off at home so he can to to work. I walk out the door, sunlight streaming in from the morning sky.
"Wait!" one of the girls screams as I walk out. "are you ever coming back?"
<I sling my jacket over my shoulders and strap my aviators on>
"My mama said to never break promises I cant keep". Me and Lex lat flared back to my beamer and sped away from the house, never to return.
Dr. Swole said:CLASS REUNION
When the invitation for my 5 year class reunion came in the mail, I almost had a nervous breakdown. You see, Doctor Swole was not always an alpha male pimp with 18 inch pythons. In fact, high school was hell for me, I graduated at 105 lbs and was constantly tortured by my classmates.
After graduation, I spent three years in my basement with my cat, lifting weights and eating cans of tuna like they were junior mints. The only time I came out was to go to night classes at a local college. Since that time, I have built my body into a rock hard temple and am also a self-made millionaire. I couldn't wait to show all the f**kers from high school what I had become
The invitation said "suit and tie", but if you know me, I'm just not a suit and tie kind of guy. I walked in dressed in my usual fur coat, aviators and beater, with a shovel. I also was carrying my homemade protein shake: 1 jar of Natty PB, 2 scoops of cottage cheese, one can of tuna, and a cup of oatmeal, all blended with skim milk. Delicious
I walked in, lats flared and my adrenaline pumping. I was walking around like I owned the place. Two former classmates approached me.
Classmate #1: Hey I remember you! Hey Sully, remember this kid?
Classmate #2: Oh yeah, that's the one we used to strip naked, wrap him in ceran wrap and tie him to the flagpole. You got a lot bigger man. How ya been?
I felt the rage burn up inside of me. I grabbed each of them by the throat and dragged them into a back room, where I beat both of them unconscious with my shovel. "How's it feel? I said hows it F**KIN' feel?!?! " I screamed at their motionless bodies.
Next stop I headed to the bathroom, where I stripped down to my speedo and oiled up my body. "You've been waiting 5 years for this, Doc" I told myself, psyching myself up. I felt like Eminem before the rap battle in 8 mile.
I headed to the stage, pointed to the DJ, indicating for him to start playing my song. "Welcome to the jungle" blared throughout the room, as I began my posedown. Side Chest, Back double, Most Muscular, I showed off every pose in the book. I watched the stunned reaction of male classmates, while women flocked with dollar bills. "Take it off, Doc!" When I hit the crowd with my signature lat flare, the screams were deafening. One girl even fainted.
I put my fur coat back on and started to walk out. Someone grabbed me by the arm. Tiffany Brown. Nicknamed "Pass Around Brown" for her reputation of having the offensive line run a train on her under the bleachers. She still looked the same. Hot face, nice body, huge tits. "F**k do you want?" I screamed at her.
Tiffany: Well, I thought that was really amazing. My husband's body is- well, not that great. I mean, he's rich and all, but its just so hard to find that total package of wealthy and jacked.
Me: <waving my BMW key in her face> Yeah, I guess so.
Tiffany: Oh god, a BMW. Will you take me for a ride?
Me: <keeping it alpha> I want gas money and a blow job out of it.
Tiffany: <handing me a $20> You drive a hard bargain, but I accept!
I took her for a 2 minute ride into one of the busiest sections of Philadelphia and told her to slob my knob.
Tiffany: Here? In the middle of the city? This is so dangerous!
Me: Tinted windows, cupcake. Now suck.
She knew what she was doing. An absolute Hoover Vacuum.
Me: Hey Tiff, remember the time you asked me to the prom, but then when I showed up at your house you had the football team drive by and throw eggs at me, and then your real boyfriend took you to the prom?
Tiffany: <mouthful of dong> Mmmm***8230; Mmmm.
Me: Well, I never got to tell you how I felt about that.
I pulled my dick out of her mouth and jerked off in her eyes. Two shots of baby batter in each pupil.
Tiffany: Oh god, what the f**k! I can't f**kin see!
I opened her door and pushed her into the street, in only her underwear and shoes. Keep in mind this is one of the busiest intersections in Philadelphia.
I pull my beamer about 50 feet from her, take her clothes and pour some gasoline on them, and light a match. Meanwhile, Tiff was stumbling around like Stevie Wonder on crack.
Tiffany: <screaming> YOU F**KIN PRICK! GET BACK HERE!
The glare of the pile of clothes on fire reflected in my aviators.
Me: Revenge is a bitch, Tiff, aint it? REVENGE IS A BITCH!
I pulled into my beamer and sped away, laughing like a madman and beeping my horn. I looked in my rearview and saw Tiff standing there, clueless.
A small smile crossed my face. "Revenge is a beautiful thing," I thought to myself, lighting up a cigar and speeding home.
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