Yay for a halfwit shoutout.
OP, you seem well read and aware of the risks. You have my blessing for AAS usage, as you are actually who you say you are, unlike the majority...
I will say that I started as a teen and have to blast and cruise for life. I also have a pretty bad heart condition and will most likely be dead by 30 though. Not that long to worry about.... Still, something to consider.

Something I never thought I'd see on this board, a green light for usage haha. Risks associated with this are definitely on my mind every time I think about usage, but nothing in this world is without its risks, especially not the more enjoyable experiences.
As far as programs go, programs arent what you want. You want to learn methodologies. People like to over complicate everything. 3 sets of 5 works for me on the deadlift, 10x5 works for me with squats, and 5x2 with high volume accessories works well for me with bench press.
It's really as simple as perfecting form, and adding weight to the bar over time, while not getting injured. I have fucked up meet preps by trying to take too many drugs and going hepatoxic, have been fucked over at meets (as in tear a quad squatting 830 and have someone steal things out of my gym bag while i was in the hospital), basically everything that can happen.
Keep drugs simple. Test for now. Next, maybe test and deca. I personally am on a half cruiseish type thing on 1g test and 600 deca.
Once you find what works training wise, when you stall, sleep more, eat more, then up drugs. Simple.
Gram of test and 600mg deca on a cruise

Wow! Methodology is usually what I do take from trying different routines, my previous training was pretty straight forward; I just had a max effort day for OHP, bench, Squat, DL, and an OLY day for explosive power, but this has stalled. Like I said I've never trained based off of percentages, except smolov, so I will see where doing each lift 3x a week will get me. What I'm looking to do is:
Day 1: Off
Day 2:
Medium Front Squat (70-80%)
Heavy Bench (80%+)
Medium Trap Bar DL (70-80%)
Barbell Rows (5x10)
Some Arm training
Day 3: Off
Day 4:
Heavy Squat (90%+)
Medium Bench (70-80%)
Light DL (speed, 55-65%)
Face Pulls+Shrugs (shoulder health, 5x10-20)
Heavy Ab Work
Day 5: Off
Day 6:
Medium OHP (70-80%)
Power Clean+Push Press+Jerk (med-heavy 80%+)
EDIT FORGOT: Light Bench (speed, 55-65%)
Side Raises (50-100 reps)
Heavy Arm Work
Day 7:
Med-heavy DL (80%+)
Light Squat (speed, 55-65%)
Glute Ham Raise (50 reps)
Pull Ups (5xmax)
Lighter Ab Work
I want to never fail a lift in this routine, but still push myself, so I can build confidence and technique with my power lifts. Kind of using Brandon Lilly's methodology. Might be a bit much, but hey, I'll just eat more and hope for the best xD I think I'll manage, esp with limited accessory work.
thanks again for the reply 308power
edit: I'm still going to wait for now and see how I progress.