ex retard needing some guidance

[Bradm996]

Right to begin let me give you a few stats
198lbs
12% BF
6'2
21 years old.

After reading countless times that I shouldn't I recently decided that i knew better and ran a test E cycle for 12 weeks at 450mg PW, used adex on cycle very poorly and had the most limp dicked tranny 3 months of my life, although I did grow 10lbs and gained next to no BF. Fast forward to now and after running a pct of NO HCG (stupid) and 2 weeks of clomid at 100/50 and 5 weeks of nolva at 40/40/20/20/20 I started to recover, I was able to achieve an erection every time, mood was lifting and libido was so-so, deffinately on the incline. I decided that I was fine and due to uni restarting in September (freshers, girls, you get the idea) I wanted to cut down and not loose my gains, I got hold of some anavar and started popping that 25mg/d , it was at this point I realised I didn't actually want to be retarded anymore and 3 days into this I put the anavar in the bin and started 1 more week of nolva to counteract any potential suppresion. Now to the present day; I'm not sure where I'm at, I'm keeping my calories surplus with cardio to try and cut but I believe I still have suppression, my erections are still great, mood isn't the best, strength is still cycle high, weight isn't really shifting too bad, libido is so-so ( slowly improving) but my testicles seem small and my ejaculate loads are shocking, those mozzarella facials are a thing of the past, now it's like dribbling milk into a cuppa . I've decided the route of LEAVE everything alone, train hard, sleep well, eat well and I'm hoping this will bring me back to where I should be, can anyone help?.

I know I may loose all what I produced on cycle, this is my own punishment for not listening to the VETS and trying to make this a sprint and not a marathon. I shall take the next 4 years to perfect diet, supplements and lifting to try and continue pushing myself to my natural limit, please help me with my current situation though, and also is there anyway I can lean up slightly without having to drop calories and loose what little gains I've got left.
Thanks

 

[oldmusclemike]

Hi and welcome Well listen I have been a fvck up all my younger days so that's what we get huh lol ....

I will address one item of your post. How do we hold our gains? Well the only thing we hold much to some many people's dismay is what MM we put on and the rest is water. Knowing that, we don't have to pay ALL that MUCH attention to our weight. It is what it is. Look in the mirror and let that be the judge.

SO what we do is eat, eat and eat more all the while we just train our butts off. Train harder then you ever and the MM you put , you will not loose. Just because we are not doing AAS at this interval does not mean we cannot hold the SOLID MM we gained. Don't sweat the small details right now. Train and eat and study up so you have a good base with some knowledge tp do it right the next time.

Good luck from the old guy on the board !!!

 

[cybrsage]

Sounds like you are well on your way to a full recovery. If you are not positive about your diet, hit up 3J. He is our resident expert and he is good at what he does. His rates are low, especially compared to an AAS cycle.

If you need some endurance help with the cardio, you can try running GW50. It is 100% non-suppressive, it simply greatly increases your endurance and recovery speed. There are a few non-responders, but it works great for most people.

But other than that, stay the course as you are. You gained wisdom, which is priceless.