Trust is the most important thing in a relationship. If you can't trust the person you love, then something is really wrong. If she is hiding things and telling lies now, it is very safe to say that things are not going to change, even if you do decide to marry her. Things will just only get worse and the lies will get bigger. We can all sit here and tell you to dump her, and I know you are thinking that it is a lot easier said than done because you love her, but you deserve to be happy and with someone who loves you and only you. Marriage is about trusting, loving and caring for one person the rest of your life, and to me it does not sound like she is ready to do that. I am married and it is great, but it takes work. Good luck, and just trust your gut and follow your heart.
Guy needs some womens advice.
- Thread starter kneedowngsxr
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Miss Silly
New member
Wow. As i read your story kneedown, i'm having serious flashbacks from my own relationship (except for the reverse situtation). Funny txt messages to my boyfriend... him goign out on weekend nights and me not knowing where the heck he was (and we have been a couple for 3 years!).
A lot of crap happened in easter of 2004, then again half a year later (exact same crap---the houdini dissapearing acts....coming home at strange hours with a felt-pen mark on his arm?? or parking tickets from downtown putting him in a time/place that made no sense (ie-said he was somewhere else that night)) back in november. We are still together, mainly i guess like big-tymer says, we are in a comfort zone (for various reasons). Things are goign well now, but do you know HOW MANY TIMES i still think about where the hell he went on those nights? That every once and a while i still check his cell phone? Yeah, even though we're together now and everythign is fine, the damage is done and there are days where i either wished i had broken up with him back then, or I am waiting for an excuse to break up with him now. Or if for some reason i can't get a hold of him at night it sends me into a panick attack.
Yes i know it's a f*cked up situation that i'm in and i need to seriously get my own sh*t together. But reading your post gave me that sinking feeling in my gut...the same one that i got a couple times already from my own relationship and 6months...one year later.... i STILL think about it and it's still having it's repercussions.
I guess my point is, if you can live the way i'm living (always second guessing) then stay. Otherwise, coming from the perspective of someone who HAS stuck it out.... i would actually advise to get out before it destroys you.
And just for the record, I have called my girlfriends before at 1am due to emergency,. so that's not an IMPOSSIBLE theory. Although i would say in this situation, definitely improbable.
A lot of crap happened in easter of 2004, then again half a year later (exact same crap---the houdini dissapearing acts....coming home at strange hours with a felt-pen mark on his arm?? or parking tickets from downtown putting him in a time/place that made no sense (ie-said he was somewhere else that night)) back in november. We are still together, mainly i guess like big-tymer says, we are in a comfort zone (for various reasons). Things are goign well now, but do you know HOW MANY TIMES i still think about where the hell he went on those nights? That every once and a while i still check his cell phone? Yeah, even though we're together now and everythign is fine, the damage is done and there are days where i either wished i had broken up with him back then, or I am waiting for an excuse to break up with him now. Or if for some reason i can't get a hold of him at night it sends me into a panick attack.
Yes i know it's a f*cked up situation that i'm in and i need to seriously get my own sh*t together. But reading your post gave me that sinking feeling in my gut...the same one that i got a couple times already from my own relationship and 6months...one year later.... i STILL think about it and it's still having it's repercussions.
I guess my point is, if you can live the way i'm living (always second guessing) then stay. Otherwise, coming from the perspective of someone who HAS stuck it out.... i would actually advise to get out before it destroys you.
And just for the record, I have called my girlfriends before at 1am due to emergency,. so that's not an IMPOSSIBLE theory. Although i would say in this situation, definitely improbable.
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The whole comfort zone thing is a sucky place to be. Life is too short to worry about whether or not the one you love is feeling the same way. I was in a comfort zone once with a guy for 6 years. Everyone around me could see how unhappy I was with him, and how different of a person I had become, but me. It took a while but I decided to look at our relationship from the outside looking in, and realized we were not ment to be. As hard as it was, I broke it off and realized that I was a better person, and happier without him than I ever was with him.
Sometimes you just need to look out for yourself even though it may mean hurting someone you love, or think you love!!!!
Sometimes you just need to look out for yourself even though it may mean hurting someone you love, or think you love!!!!
A
ash
Guest
just like the lyrics in a slipknot song"if the pain goes on i'm not gonna make it"
i'd say there is too much decpetion there, she is defently hiding something from you, dont be a fool an put yourself thru the hurt of stayin in that relationship, get out while you still can,man i am sounding liek dr phil, ps good luck bro
i'd say there is too much decpetion there, she is defently hiding something from you, dont be a fool an put yourself thru the hurt of stayin in that relationship, get out while you still can,man i am sounding liek dr phil, ps good luck bro
DJ VENOM
New member
You have the advise now you should take it.
LEAVE HER !!!
Same thing wth me and my first Fiance.
Lies Lies and then someone else giving her the bone.
If you were smart and want to save save your self some headaches you should end it now. Forget your heart ! sometimes you need to use your head !( the one on top of your shoulders ) good luck bro.
LEAVE HER !!!
Same thing wth me and my first Fiance.
Lies Lies and then someone else giving her the bone.
If you were smart and want to save save your self some headaches you should end it now. Forget your heart ! sometimes you need to use your head !( the one on top of your shoulders ) good luck bro.
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aikido_dragon
FNG
I agree with every single post so far, move on.
I do want to add that it's been my experience that women tend to be much smarter then your girl seems to be. In my opinion she wants you to dump her, she could be much more sly with her messages and what not, the fact that she's letting you see these things, tells me she doesn't really care if you find out. She wants you to know, and maybe wants you to kick her out. I'd suggest giving her what she wants and let her go.
I know that's easier said then done when you love someone, so maybe you should at least start looking for someone else on the side as well, because she's got her backup. When you see that the grass is in fact greener on the other side, you'll do the right thing.
As we say in the USMC - "Fucker then chuckher"
I do want to add that it's been my experience that women tend to be much smarter then your girl seems to be. In my opinion she wants you to dump her, she could be much more sly with her messages and what not, the fact that she's letting you see these things, tells me she doesn't really care if you find out. She wants you to know, and maybe wants you to kick her out. I'd suggest giving her what she wants and let her go.
I know that's easier said then done when you love someone, so maybe you should at least start looking for someone else on the side as well, because she's got her backup. When you see that the grass is in fact greener on the other side, you'll do the right thing.
As we say in the USMC - "Fucker then chuckher"
caladin
-Flesh Eater-
Chaz B said:
DITTO!
I have been where you are. And trust me. Its bullshit. No self respecting woman would pull this crap. I think the email alone says it all! for your mental sake set her down and explain that she may see this as unresonable that ya she says nothins going on but confront her with all the issues just as you see it and be calm.. BE CALM its important. And say that basicaly you have to move on. Gonna hurt like hell but in time you will be singing a glory song and wonder what the fuck you waited so long. Sorry buddy that you have to go through this. Its the fucking PITS!
SORRY BRO Thats just not right.... I been married 21yrs.Would not put up with 1 day fuk 2 weeks..1 -he wants her back... 2-he is traveling 1000 miles to get her back, not to say high.... 3-if it were me and you gave me 2 weeks alone with your g.f. all day hell i would be doing here by second week easy(and he knows all her soft spots) But you know this right...You just needed to here it from others..Could be worrse you could marry her then accept that she won't give you 100% cheat on her she files for deforce and gets most of yuor money and the house................RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN
finelysculpted
New member
Knee down gsxr, lol i just got that. i'm not here to tell you to leave her, i'm just curious what ever happened with the whole situation...? it's like a forum soap opera!
i know this thread is old, but is there any update? i was kinda in the same situation, and she did all the things you described also. sure enough after we broke up found out she was wiht the dude for 6 weeks. but i got my nut off right before i told her to get lost
or you could do that also. i laughed for like 5 minutes after i read that
n2omaverick said:
or you could do that also. i laughed for like 5 minutes after i read that
Listen bro i dont know you but i know this situation....... in all honestly to be blunt your being a little Bit*h.. your being way too nice and way to lienent to this chick... know the only reason i can imagine this is because you actually do love her and are ingauged... she obviously doesnt feel the same way about you.. i.e her lying all the time.... wanting her old fuck buddy to come over (what the hell you thing there gunna do? play video games.. we all know guys are only friends with chicks for one reason)
what would be the only reason you would wanna see someone you used to bang?
FOOL ME ONCE....SHAME ON ME
FOOL ME TWICE....SHAME ON YOU
GET OUT NOW THE SOONER THE BETTER...love make dudes do crazy shit.. think about it this way.. if your girlfriend of like 6 months was doing this wouldnt you just kick her to the curb? the only reason you havent yet is because your afraid.MAN UP BRO
what would be the only reason you would wanna see someone you used to bang?
FOOL ME ONCE....SHAME ON ME
FOOL ME TWICE....SHAME ON YOU
GET OUT NOW THE SOONER THE BETTER...love make dudes do crazy shit.. think about it this way.. if your girlfriend of like 6 months was doing this wouldnt you just kick her to the curb? the only reason you havent yet is because your afraid.MAN UP BRO
newgoal300
New member
tell her to let jack come stay w/ you, let him travel the 1000miles to see her and then dump her when he gets there, and tell them to find their own place to stay!!!!!!
Old School
New member
My Advice - RUN FOREST RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
coolhandjames
I am b@nned !
my friend you simply cannot afford to be naive, carelessness is for the women and the children. If we don't stand for something. we'll fall for anything.