berealjohn
New member
Heres a few to get started: Hot Lunch- While receiving head from a woman, you proceed to shit on her chest. (a.k.a. the Cleveland Steamer)
The Stranger- Sitting on your hand until it falls asleep and then jerking off, eliciting the feeling of a hand job from someone else.
Donkey Punch- Banging a girl doggy style and then moments before you cum, sticking your dick in her ass, and then punching her in the back of the head. This gives a tremendous sensation, but for it to work correctly, the girl must be knocked out so that her asshole tightens up.
Golden Shower- Any form of dropping piss all over a girl.
Pearl Necklace- Well known. Whenever you cum on the neck/cleavage area of a girl - it takes on the look of beautiful jewelry.
Coyote- This occurs when you wake up in the room of a nasty wombat and you know you've got to give her the slip. However, you realize that your arm is wrapped around her. Therefore, you must gnaw off your own arm to get out of this situation. Can be very painful.
Purple Mushroom- This occurs when a woman is giving you oral sex and you withdraw your penis in order to poke it back into her cheek. It should leave a lasting impression similar to a purple mushroom.
The Flying Camel- A personal favorite. As she is lying on her back and you are hammering her from your knees, you carefully balance yourself without using your arms to prop yourself up. You then proceed to flap your arms and let out a long, shrieking howl, much like a coyote. Strictly a class move.
Fishhook- A variation of the shocker in which you pull back towards the pussy after you stick your finger up her anus.
The Ram- Again, you're attacking from behind, when you start ramming her head against the wall in a rhythmic motion. The force of the wall should allow for deeper penetration. Very handy for those lulls in penile sensitivity.
Dog in a Bathtub- This is the proper name for when you attempt to insert your nuts into a girl's ass. It is so named because it can be just as hard as keeping a dog in the tub while giving it a bath.
Felching - A gay activity which I do not condone at all. It occurs when one fag fucks another fag in the ass and then sucks it out with a straw. Only included for those of you who are considering going to jail.
Tossing Salad- Another prison act where one person is forced to basically chow asshole with the help of whatever condiments are available, i.e. Jell-O, olive oil, etc. I'm never going to prison.
The Bronco- Back to reality with this classic. You start by going doggy style and then just when she is really enjoying it, you grab onto her tits as tightly as possible and yell another girl's name. This gives you the feeling of riding a bronco as she tries to buck you off.
Pink glove- This frequently happens during sex when a girl is not wet enough. When you pull out to give her the money, the inside of her twat sticks to your hog. Thus, the pink glove.
The Fountain of You- While sitting on her face and having her eat your ass, jerk off like a madman. Build up as much pressure as possible before releasing, spewing like a venerable geyser all over her face,neck and tits. (Better in her bed)
New York Style Taco- Anytime when you are so drunk that when you go down, you boot on her box. Happy trails.
Hot Carl- This time honored tradition occurs when you take a girl in the back door and then proceed to have her suck you off. One of the all-time greats.
Jelly Donut- While the girl is in the act of sucking you off, you proceed to punch and break her nose, and the blood gushing out of her resembles the breakfast treat.
The Compton Gangbang - You meet a young lady at the bar. She tells you she has a boyfriend, but she ends up going home with you anyway for a one night stand. When you take her to your place, tell your friends to wait outside your bedroom door. Just when she's about to get off, your friends barge in the room and plainly beat the shit out of her. That should teach her not to fuck around.
Dirty Sanchez - A time honored event in which while laying the bone doggie style, you insert your finger into her asshole. You then pull it out and wipe it across her upper lip leaving a thin shit mustache. This makes her look like someone whose name is Dirty Sanchez.
Hogging - While intoxicated, high, or just plain desparate, you go searching for the fattest bitch you can find and proceed to ride her like a Harley. Best accomplished with large groups friends.
The Landshark - The woman braces herself facing a wall, naked, hands against the wall, legs spread, bent over so that her ass is lusciously jutting out. (hint: She might want to wear a biking helmet and some Rollerblading wrist guards to avoid serious injury.) Next, the guy also naked as well as stiff cocked, walks to the opposite end of the room, places his palms together and raises them above his head, (thus imitating the dorsal fin of a shark) and begins chanting the theme to JAWS. When given some predetermined signal, the guy sprints toward the girl at full speed with his pelvis-out, fin protruding, and rams her dead square in the ass.
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