Oh My Goodness

[Tmer4thewin1]

As I said before I have stretchmarks on my triceps. I feel manly because I understand my true nature and reality. I am engrossed in the present moment. I have a major in psychology which I passed despite living an incredibly lonely and disconnected life. I always wondered what the reason was for my disconnection and I think it had something to do with "testosterone" I was always a very heavy thinker throughout college and high school. But I never really got "it". Now I get "it" My reflection of my years of dissociation helped me understand that I was looking at all of the wrong places for what was going on in my life. The reason I was "disconnected" was because I lacked "SELF-CONFIDENCE"

At first seeing the true nature of reality lead me to see everything as extremely primitive. I realized that I was focused "in my head" trying to reason with myself for what I was doing wrong. I created a fake reality for myself (as eveyrone does to some extent using complex psychological processes) to allow myself to function in reality without experiencing much "emotional anxiety". That being said I understood everything on a certain level but I wasn't connected to the true nature of reality and lacked the "self-confidence" to fully express it.

When I saw the true nature of reality I was able to let go of my ego (which I understand now is emotionality) and achieve true self-confidence

I created this thread to try to find out if this was something that has ever happened to anyone else. I was trying to find out if my connection with reality was due to testosterone (which makes logical sense) given the evolutionary desire for testosterone levels, not to mention my breakthrough came shortly after I started juicing. As expected no one could really give me a logical answer. Though you at least seem to be somewhat open minded. If the thread came off as trippy or ego-trippy than be aware that this was not my intention. I came hear looking for an answer to my question. I am uninterested in trying to boost my "self-confidence" by trying to prove myself on internet forums.

Now I understand everything. I understand all words. I understand social tendencies. I understand emotions. I have troubles connecting with people on an emotional level because I know the true nature of emotions. I would rather bring others "up" or at least have them view me as "up" I can bring myself "down" to communicate with people. You used the words yourself "high-status". Do you not see what you are saying?

I understand that I am who I am.

 

[jkr2020788]

Make love not war

 

[jkr2020788]

jk man, cool, glad you like who you are.

 

[scottrebel]

It may have been a psychosomatic reaction due to a placebo effect based on your desire to find the reality of your true inner self, and due to this deep seeded desire; the taking of your testosterone was merely a trigger point for the fulfillment of this change in perception. Yeah... I took psychology also.

 

[Tmer4thewin1]

If anyone wants help to try to work through their defense mechanisms and their emotions send me a pm.

 

[hell yeah lesbians!]

This is steroidology not Dr. Phil.

 

[German89]

^^^ Maybe you just hit maturity?

 

[Hull Tech]

wow, all I want to do is fuck and blow shite up.

Hi

It has a week since I started my cycle having only done 3 injections of prop so far. Ever since I started my cycle I noticed my brain works on a completely different level than it did before.

I am able to see the true nature of reality and just how animalistic and underevolved it really is without the emotional comforts of societal labeling.

I was able to let go of all of my repression. I came to terms with the true nature of emotionality and all of the repression/denial/other defense mechanisms that come with it.

I realized that before my cycle people viewed me as "dumb" or "gay". I had a huge disconnect between my real and perceived self. I realize now this is because I was "In my Head" so to speak. I had low "self-confidence" because of this I have since learned to find my true animalistic nature.

I have learned to live fully in the moment. I fully understand social dynamics now and understand people at a deep emotional level. I understand all of the intricacies of human language and how that language is expressed.

I can slow down time and point out to people their emotions. I can also manipulate emotions and use this information to dominate people fully.

I realize now that emotionality is the minds way of protecting itself from true reality. A true reality which I fully embrace. I had a religious experience, felt God and had an egodeath (something Buddhists take years of meditation to achieve)

Random women come up to talk to me where before they ignored me. Men always look down first. Today alone I bought 2 pounds of carrots and brocolli for .30 cents at walmart after the cashier gave me a three dollar discount.

I see emotional weakness.

I have gained 0 pounds and don't care

The past four days have been the best four days of my life.
Logically looking at it from an evolutionary standpoint men with high testosterone levels should hypothetically be superior in all of these regards. So my question is...

has anyone else experienced anything like this?

 

[Millertime]

Bottom line bro is being on cycle is mentaly and physically the greatest feeling. After my first shot I fee l like I'm the king of the world because I'm so excited about the transformation to come. It does bring you to a different level of confidence and with high confidence it makes you happier. I think know what your trying to say so enjoy the ride while it lasts.The rides full of ups and downs but its a way of life and you just deal with the good and bad.