Are steroids considered a relapse to a recovering opiate addict? Advise-a-noob.

[Hexum311]

Greetings, Folks.

For a little background, I have had a substance abuse issue for many years and now have 2 years in recovery. Needless to say, my personal appearance is something I began to focus a lot on while getting clean. I was working out 5 days a week and had a very structured schedule for 8 months out of the past 14, however I started to lighten up because of a demanding job and for the past two and a half months I have really been slipping on my workout routine. I have been wanting to bring in the new year with some gear, however I am concerned if steroid use would be considered a relapse to a recovering opiate addict? They say a "Drug is a Drug", however people in NA smoke cigarettes and drink coffee like its nobody's business, and drugs like mental health medications are condoned, but how about Test? It is not a psychotropic recreational party drug, and it would be used to enhance my self image. I would like some feedback from other recovering addicts on whether or not I can partake in a cycle.

If it is okay, here is what I have been considering.

First and foremost, I have been eating way too fucking much. I am 6'5 and currently tip the scales at 260, albeit I do have a nice frame from my exercise. The body fat machine at Kroger told me I have well over 74% lean muscle (As if that damn thing is accurate?)... Still, the gut and love handles have got to go. I would really like to do a cycle first and begin a slim down diet after that, so would this be advisable? Or do I need to loose the weight before I consider doing a cycle. I was hoping I could cycle first so I could be pleased with the underlying muscles that appear during a slim down. I am really anxious to start (if it is something that would not compromise my recovery, of course).

I was initially toying with the idea of running HGH for the first four months out of the year while dieting but still working out, and then starting up some test around the 4th month and beginning a rigorous bulking routine and diet. I would run the HGH for 6 months total, alongside the Test for 2 of the final months. I can finance such a feat, and if anyone has some other great HGH resources please let me know... at this point I am researching and reading everything I can get my hands on to know what I am getting into. I know I need something that can help me with my weight loss while also possibly further defining the frame I've established so far. I know I need to pace myself and do this thing right, so help me out.

I also am acne prone, and would love some advice to limit the high school complexion? Would Test E alone fuck my face and back to hell?

Also, what should a first time Test E cycle user throw in a PCT cache? Novalex but how many mgs/day and for how long; not so much Clomid (maybe I am wrong?) Also, being a recovering addict, I was considering a Test transdermal to avoid having to pin anything. Has anyone had decent results from transdermal or is it a waste of time? I'm all over the place, I know, so any suggestions and structure would be amazing.

Thanks folks

 

[Mprtz]

I would say that you need to ask yourself: will you be lying to those close to you and others, obtaining drugs illegally and doing them in secret? And if so, is that behaviour consistent with your recovery goals?
I've had issues with addiction, and though I'm on legally prescribed TRT I still worry about it.

 

[PrinceDianabol]

Something you need to consider is the fact that AAS can be addictive. If you've had trouble with addiction in the past i'd be quite weary. Test alone made me feel fuckin amazing, confidence went through the roof, felt like a god lol. Then you have to remember most people get the PCT "crash" feeling (i didnt, my pct was a breeze and felt just as good through it.)

If your at around 26% bodyfat then would definetly be a good idea to drop that number before starting any cycle. Higher body fat = harder to control estrogen.

Also, nobody can tell you if your gonna get acne sides or how bad they will be. I think the general rule is if you suffered from acne through puberty, chances are you will on cycle too. I got quite bad acne from my cycle (face was fine, but neck chest and back was horrible.) have a look at my last thread gor Austinites acne stack, i havent started it yet but you can bet your ass that that austins knowledge will be your best route.

My advice would be to wait it out, at the bery least until you have drppped a lot more bodyfat, which will take some time. But if you stay strict and do well, maybe that will be enough time away from addiction to help you be strict with yourself when you come to use AAS finally.
Thats just my opinion though.

 

[Manski]

I have 3 years clean myself. I'm in the program, I am a secratary of a large meeting, I also sponcer a few guys and a few of those guys are now sponcering as well. If you read in your big book, it says any mind altering drug would be a relapse. Aas does not alter your mind. It could make us a little emotional or aggressive depending on what aas were on but other then that I don't consider it a mind altering drug. But keep in mind like the above stated that aas can def be addicting ! I have been back cycling now for a little over two years and have had no prob coming off them and always take enough time between cycles to recover. I cycle twice a year and I do everything pretty much by the book. Remember, we do have addictive personalities so be sure to be honest with yourself and don't let it get out of control.

 

[Black Beard]

If you channel your AAS use into something positive and do it right, i don't see why you would consider it a relapse. You are using them to improve your fitness. I would also recommend dropping your body fat. As for acne control. Mega dose zinc picolinate (50-100 mg) It works very well. Zinc is part of austinite's stack as well. Picolinate is one of the most bioavailable form and one of the gold standards of zinc absorption. It is also a very mild aromatase and 5-alpha reductase inhibitor. So that's a plus for some people.

 

[Inhuman2012]

Friend of bill w myself. I don't see AAS use as a relapse. Is smoking cigarettes a relapse is drinking coffee? Both of those nicotine and caffeine are mood and mind altering substances that are physically and mentally addictive yet that's all you see at a meeting. Testosterone is a hormone natural to the body and all AAS are just manipulated forms of testosterone.

 

[Black Beard]

Yes sir. They are just hormones with awesome effects on the human system if used correctly. People treat steroids like you are pinning the devil's own blood. It's hilarious

 

[soldier74]

Dude! If u gotta ask that ? Then id say u no the answer. Ur just lookin for some one to give u the go ahead.

 

[bigkit34]

I've got 14 months clean from a bad oxycontin addiction and ran a cycle this past summer no prob. Don't consider it a relapse at all, but for what its worth i don't agree with everything NA preaches to begin with as some of it is very contradicting like nicotine and caffeine as already mentioned

 

[MeatHead96]

I'm 6.5yrs clean from drugs and alcohol. I was a junkie. I'm also in the program, my sponsor and close friends in the program know about it and nobody considers it a relapse. If I wanted to get high or drunk I'd get high or drunk. Steroids do not do that.

 

[Hexum311]

I would say that you need to ask yourself: will you be lying to those close to you and others, obtaining drugs illegally and doing them in secret? And if so, is that behavior consistent with your recovery goals?
I've had issues with addiction, and though I'm on legally prescribed TRT I still worry about it.

I like the viewpoints. In recovery, we come to understand addiction is behavioral and often drugs are just a symptom of your true underlying thought processes that enabled the addiction to manifest in the first place. Just the fact a lot of these products are illegal and would have to be concealed may act as a trigger for addictive thinking to flourish. Its not a far stretch to associate the process of pinning a dose to the "rituals" of fixing up a shot of Heroin, and I can see how that may trigger someone. Plus, even if you can rationalize your way into this one, you break down the barrier to the possibility of rationalizing something else in the future.

Duly noted, I will consider this, and thanks!

 

[Hexum311]

I appreciate all of the feedback! My conscience was eating me up because I was not sure if me spending so much time meditating on the possibilities of AAS was back peddling in my growth through the 12 step process. I feel very enlightened, and I am very pleased to have gotten such great responses from both sides of the fence. In my true nature I am an extremist, hence the extent and depth of depravity my drug addiction grew to. I am very grateful of the serenity and peace of mind I have these days, how life is falling back into place with each passing day. When I reflect on the things I've done while in active addiction to opiates, the hopelessness I reached, I have to be extremely conscientious of what I put into my body. I don't want to upset the homeostasis of my biology, but at the same time would love to see my full physical potential. I am on a mission for the best version of myself possible.

I am glad that I am not alone. I am glad to see that other recovering addicts can do a controlled and reasonable cycle of AAS and maintain the mindset they have worked so hard to achieve. I also see the potential that AAS can become addictive; seeing the results I am sure would want to see how much more you can go. I myself always want to "do it big". So I will have to be very careful with what I decide to do.

 

[wiggywild]

I am also a friend of Bills and a recovering opiate addict. I am also on cycle currently. Here is what I have found on wikipedia:

Anabolic steroid - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

In an animal study, male rats developed a conditioned place preference to testosterone injections into the nucleus accumbens, an effect blocked by dopamine antagonists, which suggests that androgen reinforcement is mediated by the brain. Moreover, testosterone appears to act through the mesolimbic dopamine system, a common substrate for drugs of abuse

Studies have shown that animals will self-administer steroids when given the opportunity, just as they do with other addictive drugs.

I would say the answer really depends on what your sponsor says and whether or not you are even telling him. If you are hiding things from him and still staying sober this could set you up for relapse on down the road.

 

[underpsi]

same here... used to be a rec drug user in my teens. oxy's got me when i totaled my knee playing football . now drug free since 99. will throw a couple things out there..
agree with all of the above and think aas use is NOT "relapse" . aas use made me more dedicated to what i do. dedicated to weights, quit smoking 4 years ago too. also try to eat right ect. promoting a healthier life style. have yet to see anyone robbing 7-11 for $ for a bottle of test
that being said, i believe aas is a double edged sword! if you are the addictive type you need to be careful. they can become addictive. the work outs, pumps, well being feelings ect. good luck in your journey and props for throwing it out there.

 

[Manski]

I think all of us just had a meeting ! Lol

 

[Teutonic]

I feel better.
OP i may be one of the most battered people , physically and mentally fucked politically in-correct, from an adrenaline fueled career, hobbies and the mental crash you see when you look in your wake and see not only your broken body parts but friendships, well I KNOW what you know what I mean.
I was never a junkie in that I need to score but I saved up (or robbed drug dealers) and abused what I got...lories xanax etc.
Never took em every day but took 5 or 10 of anything when I did..rarely had a drink..drank a half a fifth way to often.
When I competed w weights I did 1 or 2 grams a week...
Now I take what I need to function; 5 mg s codiene in my coffee to get out the house and leave the rest. My knee is screwed together w 3 titanium screws, my back fused w a rod, with shoulder pinned, my neck needs fusing etc.... I do not want a buzz anymore. I got the best job in the world..."standing by"

You need to prepare yourself to do this if your gonna do this. Drop the lard and grab your fukkin addictive part of your brain with both hands. No big cycle s for you my man..you we cannot handle it....do not push this envelope as well.
Also I WOULD NOT TELL A FKN SOUL....not your sponsor ,ur mommy, lover, brother. There is something really cool about your own lil secret. Try it....

If you want this it can be yours. If you go over the top this too will bite you in the NUTS this time.

 

[Lift-on]

Be addicted to the pump, burn, shortness of breath, the soreness, the progress. But not to the AAS. Somtimes u have to stop and tell yourself chill. If u use in moderation and don't spend your every dime trying to get huge ull b ok.

 

[bigkit34]

Lol thats always what i say when someone in the program chimes in about it. I also have yet to know anybody who robbed a bank or 7-11 for AAS money

 

[unkazra1]

Doesn't it suck we live in a world where booze, weed, coke, acid, mushrooms, and xtc don't garner the "frowning" that AAS does? Go figure.. Bass Ackwards! Brother, I hear you. No middle ground. You're either recovering or relapsing. You wanna do something good for yourself. That something, at it's core, promotes a healthy lifestyle, yet you can't tell anyone the truth about. Keep in mind, it's your recovery. You gotta do what's best for you. AAS will not make you wanna start ripping "rails" of coke or smoking joints again.., but booze will. And just because you're in recovery, you (and your higher power) still have a right to privacy. Be sure to do plenty of research and do your thing man.

 

[Hrnyfckr]

I'm 63 days sober today in CMA... When I started recovery, I thought I was only putting down Crystal... I soon found out it's so much more.... I would be putting down everything not perscribed by a doctor. I have a TRT perscription, but I'm an addict... If some is good... Then more is better... And if more is better.... A lot more is fuckin awesome! A gram of test anyone?
I asked my sponsor about this immediately and he was willing to give me a pass for a year... He said I'd probably feel different about roids by that time.
Well, he was not at all ready for a sponsee on a gram of test plus tren plus decca. My cycle made me a perpetual horn-dog looking for his constant fix of ass! He soon threatened to fire me if I didn't at least drop my test levels to a manageable level.... It was too hard to work with me with this constant sexual distraction. I stomped my feet... But ultimately surrendered. I'm slowly going off cycle now.
Whatever you are willing to put down ultimately leaves more room in your life for the gifts of sobriety... Which you deserve... We all do.
That being said, this is a matter for you and your sponsor... The self confidence which keeps you sober, today, needs not come from a vial of test. Also, it sounds like you have some work to do before this is really an issue. Your BF should be closer to 10 percent before steroids make sense. Do the work first!
As for me, I went from a year reprieve to a goal of abstinence. I'm willing to do whatever it takes, today. My sponsor says after a year of sobriety we can talk about a moderate cycle!