For the past 2 years my life is nothing but a lie, a sophisticated lie i weaved so well and got caught up in it... I know i probably have been labeled as an excessively chronic pathological liar...But this is not a joke. It took me a long time to realize that maybe i have a problem, in the processing of hurting lots of people. I've paid my price.My marriage fell apart and i wont be able to see my son grow as much as i wanted to and i have left behind girls that are heart broken and resentful.It's more than just my life that i've ruined...It all started as a small lie, like i would tell a girl i met at the bar that i'm single so that i could have sex with her, while my wife was pregnant.There was also small lies that i made up for my nonexsist army life and other experience that i made up..I had seen those lies made me more attractive and got me more sex and i guess i got addicted to it since then. I kept telling myself they were the one time off thing and would never happen again...My marriage was on rocks and I took a job as strength coach in China to get away. My lying continued and got even worse there. In there i was a free man again, well almost if not for the fact that legally i was still married. I took off the wedding band and went single.I've weaved incredible webs of lies and created many characters where i had those whole different lives and they believed me.It gave me the highs i dont why.But everytime a girl found out which they always did,i saw in their eyes the shock and the disgust like i just turned an horrible animal overnight, i felt the guilt...and in the back of my mind i alway felt that little shadowy guit torwards my wife and our baby boy i left behind to persue a new bachelor life which was a lie i later realized.I'm not a bad person but i have lived a lie.Before i knew it, my lying had went from complusive to habitual cause everytime a lie is out i had to make up more to back up that one.I have fooled them and i have fooled even myself.
I'm seeing a therapist now and thought i would use this as a supplement step to recovery.It is pretty much my pethetic life in a nut shell that you've read...If you are gonna tell me to fuck off then please dont even bother replying...I've got enough of that. I'm not coming here to ask any mercy nor judgement.
Thanks,
Greg
I'm seeing a therapist now and thought i would use this as a supplement step to recovery.It is pretty much my pethetic life in a nut shell that you've read...If you are gonna tell me to fuck off then please dont even bother replying...I've got enough of that. I'm not coming here to ask any mercy nor judgement.
Thanks,
Greg
