Don't Look Like a Douche at the Gym!

[IMT staff]

Don't Look Like a Douche at the Gym - Increase My Testosterone

 

[PedestrianX]

So people with low T look like douches at the gym? Wtf

 

[IMT staff]

So people with low T look like douches at the gym? Wtf

Try reading the article smarty pants.

 

[PedestrianX]

No article shows up. Just tried to get me to download some app. Smarty pants.

 

[THE-DET-OAK]

No article shows up. Just tried to get me to download some app. Smarty pants.

Maybe you did it from your phone, that is their application. The article actually has nothing to do with low t man, increaseMyT is just the name of the website.

 

[THE-DET-OAK]

trust me bro, read it, its a pretty funny article.

Descriptions of some of the colorful characters we see pumping iron, riding the cardio equipment, doing silly stretches or just wandering aimlessly. Do you see yourself in any of these examples?

The Abdominator
Usually a young male who has this odd habit of lifting up his shirt to wipe nonexistent sweat away from his forehead, revealing a chiseled six-pack. For some reason, this action always coincides with proximity to a young, attractive female.

Since his eyes are covered by his shirt, he cannot see that she is rolling hers.

The Hoarder
Ive seen women do this, but its usually a guy thing. Theyre obsessed with multiple varieties of supersets and compound sets. Such an approach to exercise is admirable, but during busy gym times trying to carve out a fiefdom of several pieces of equipment that no one else is permitted to touch qualifies as douchbaggery. Its annoying to see one of the few bench presses abandoned for several minutes with plates still on it, and when you finally decide to go and use it, the Hoarder charges up, indignant, proclaiming, Im using that!

Hoarders deserve to have a premenstrual crocodile shoved down their pants.

The Barracuda
Just like a cougar -- a prowler of young men -- except older.

And hungrier.

The Fisherman
This is the guy who considers the gym to be his personal Plenty Of Fish and hits on every person lacking a Y chromosome. He lives by the adage that it you fire off enough rounds, eventually youll hit something.

The stench coming off him isnt B.O. its desperation.

Herculass
She is a female version of Hercules, and she can lift more than you. Shes tough, focused and she doesnt want to talk to any fishermen. In most cases, she doesnt want to talk to anybody because shes too busy kicking ass with the iron.

Try not to hurt yourself attempting to keep up with her. She is not impressed.

The Earthquake
He resembles an NFL offensive lineman. Two of them. When his mother gave birth to him, her screams shattered half the windows in the hospital. He eats large farm animals whole, and his workout regimen includes shoulder pressing the leg press, plates and all.

Give him a wide berth.

The Lost Boy
Young, skinny, pimply and clueless as to what to do in the gym. His face betrays one of constant confusion as he inspects the equipment. The only thing he seems to know how to do well is drool while wandering around looking at Hoop Earring Girls (see Part 1).

The Tongue Depressors
A couple joined at the hip, regularly engaging in public displays of affection between sets. A just and righteous god would cause his boner to get slammed between two 45-pound plates.

The Accessorizer
Theyre a virtual shopping center of weightlifting equipment: belts, gloves, straps, chalk, notebooks and bottles containing a milky purple liquid. They seem incapable of working out without this cornucopia of loot that they haul from station to station.

[Insert joke here about compensating for something.]

Captain Skull Candy
This is the person wearing headphones the size of a Smart Car while working out. They take rejection of crappy gym music to an extreme.

One Size Fits Most
This is the guy who wears those super-tight Under Armour T-shirts to the gym despite sporting a belly that looks like hes well into his third trimester.

He needs a girlfriend, if for no other reason than to have someone help him with clothes shopping.

Not Quite Awake Yet
They wear pajamas to the gym. Apparently thats a thing now.

Can You Hear Me Now?
The person who occasionally lifts weights in between cell phone calls.

The brain tumor will get them before too long.

Altitude Sickness
The person who puts the treadmill on full incline and walks at a fast pace while hanging onto the hand rails for dear life.

Aka: Mountain-Climbing Wannabe.

Dromedary Phalanges
Dromedary: Noun. The one-humped domesticated camel (Camelus dromedarius), widely used as a beast of burden in northern Africa and western Asia. Also called Arabian camel. Just think of this simply as "camel."

Phalanges: Noun: Any of the small bones of the fingers or toes in humans or the digits of many other vertebrates. Think of this as "toe."

If you're confused, the meaning here is camel toe -- the people with pants so tight and so high you can basically see their... You know. You try to avoid looking, but it's so hard to stop.

 

[THE-DET-OAK]

 

[PedestrianX]

Ok smart ass.

 

[THE-DET-OAK]

Ok its fixed. So now you don't even have to click on the link to read it.

 

[Smitherine]

I think that list is missing The Socialist. The guys who do a couple sets and spend the rest of the time talking to anyone in a 10 ft radius.

Don't make eye contact and stay out of the radius and you'll be fine

 

[IronReps]

Had a few chuckles. I never understood why some guys took their girlfriends to the gym. Sounds like a perfect excuse to get away from them in the first place.

 

[ski10804life]

hahaha that was a good laugh

 

[meloyelo7337]

I think that list is missing The Socialist. The guys who do a couple sets and spend the rest of the time talking to anyone in a 10 ft radius.

Don't make eye contact and stay out of the radius and you'll be fine

no doubt.... the way i avoid that is to pull my hat as low as possible with a very curved rim (i swear i can barely see infront of me) and my music very very loud..... looking pissed helps too lol,,,, you got to get angry at those weights or they do not respect you

 

[diggydev]

idk...but the guy in the picture looks like a total douche to me....just sayin....

 

[KO'd]

lol x2^^^

 

[meloyelo7337]

Lol

 

[Smitherine]

no doubt.... the way i avoid that is to pull my hat as low as possible with a very curved rim (i swear i can barely see infront of me) and my music very very loud..... looking pissed helps too lol,,,, you got to get angry at those weights or they do not respect you

LOL, This. I think the forced rep grunt scares them off too.