after being released from the army early upon special request due to a serious hand injury, i was honorably discharge and it seems like i've been depressed ever since. around the same time, things were going south between me and my girlfriend and we officially ended it about 3 months ago.
it seems like things in my life seem to get all fucked up, all at once. like, i lose my job, my girlfriend, motivation and ambition and i become depressed all over the course of a month or two.
i dont really have friends either. i'm only 22 and i have like 2 friends, who aren't even friends between both of them. one friend barely goes out, and the other one is an american volunteer of the IDF and is going back to america soon. all my friends from the army are off doing their own thing whether it be traveling, school, work. we all live in different parts of the country too. it just doesnt work.
and i can't even get a date, despite me being a very handsome guy (seriously). with things that i have seen in my service being in special ops combat, i have a hard time trusting people and letting people "in". so when i meet a girl, i feel like all she sees is this good looking, muscley tattooed military douche bag who only cares for himself, and she never wants to give me a chance.
my brother's girlfriend who is very very close friend, tells me thats who she thought i was when she met me. and she says to some extent that is true because i have this ego to me and this sense of pride that give off the vibe that everyone is below me and girls like that sometimes, but definitely not if thats all the guy has to offer. she says i need to put my soft side out there more, because she knows its in there.
seems like my life is just in the shitter. only thing i got going for me is that i'm pretty shredded lol. only reason i can keep up diet and training is because it's just a part of my life by now. i dont really know what life is like not counting calories, protein carbs and fats. counting meals. workouts. etc
i think the main thing that bothers me is that i have so much love and affection to give to girls (when i actually like them i'll give it to them) and growing up i've seen this as a weakness, so i've trained myself to not show girls that i am like this. but i am.
if i had a girlfriend to share my life with, i know that my life would have just a little more meaning and i would have just a little more motivation in everything.
it seems like things in my life seem to get all fucked up, all at once. like, i lose my job, my girlfriend, motivation and ambition and i become depressed all over the course of a month or two.
i dont really have friends either. i'm only 22 and i have like 2 friends, who aren't even friends between both of them. one friend barely goes out, and the other one is an american volunteer of the IDF and is going back to america soon. all my friends from the army are off doing their own thing whether it be traveling, school, work. we all live in different parts of the country too. it just doesnt work.
and i can't even get a date, despite me being a very handsome guy (seriously). with things that i have seen in my service being in special ops combat, i have a hard time trusting people and letting people "in". so when i meet a girl, i feel like all she sees is this good looking, muscley tattooed military douche bag who only cares for himself, and she never wants to give me a chance.
my brother's girlfriend who is very very close friend, tells me thats who she thought i was when she met me. and she says to some extent that is true because i have this ego to me and this sense of pride that give off the vibe that everyone is below me and girls like that sometimes, but definitely not if thats all the guy has to offer. she says i need to put my soft side out there more, because she knows its in there.
seems like my life is just in the shitter. only thing i got going for me is that i'm pretty shredded lol. only reason i can keep up diet and training is because it's just a part of my life by now. i dont really know what life is like not counting calories, protein carbs and fats. counting meals. workouts. etc
i think the main thing that bothers me is that i have so much love and affection to give to girls (when i actually like them i'll give it to them) and growing up i've seen this as a weakness, so i've trained myself to not show girls that i am like this. but i am.
if i had a girlfriend to share my life with, i know that my life would have just a little more meaning and i would have just a little more motivation in everything.
