This is a long time coming but i've been in panic mode for so long I just need some advice without being judged really as i know im an idiot. Long post but please any advice is appreciated. Im losing my mind as no one seems to be able to help.
At age 22 in Around April/May 2015 i ran a cycle of test-e 250mg twice a week all the way up to September (few weeks in between i missed out because i couldn't get hold of test). I was young and stupid and was extremely negligent towards possible side affects.
Now i just want to be back to normal.
I threw anavar in towards the end of the cylce and my balls shrivelled up to nothing at one point. throughout the cycle and to this day i have had ed issues. I didnt use hcg or an AI on cycle. I think high E2 caused the ED.
At the end of the cycle in september 2015 i did a few weeks of nolvadex following dosgaes recommended online somewhere for about 4 weeks and threw in some arimidex not really knowing what i was doing. My libido was down and i always struggled to maintain an erection.
I had a bloods done in june 2016 after months of avoiding the GP and he said everything was fine and in range so i put it down to being a psychological thing
I was down and did some stupid 2/3 week course of winstrol at 50mg a day before i went on holiday in September 2016 as a bit of a confidence booster with some friends who are also uneducated on steroid use.
I paid my GP to see the blood results from june 2016 and the only useful value i could really see was that my total serum testosterone was 11.7nmol/L. This was 7 months after finishing the cycle so within range but when i looked ... well out for a 23 year old ?! My GP never picked up on this ... then i foolishly threw more steroids in myself ?!
I honestly just don't know what to do. My balls to me do look smaller than they once were but not severely atrophied and i just dont get the sexual urges i used to before steroids. I just dont feel like i used to before i touched them.
I paid to privately see an endo and he recommended i just wait it out as im young and it could take up to 3 years to return to homeostasis. The GP said i could have counselling.
I have been on OTC test boosters and PCT product with reservatrol in for the past two months and had bloods done last week which came in at:-
Testosterone 29.7nmol/L (7.6-31.4)
Free Test 0.677nmol/L (0.30 - 1)
Oestradiol 226.7pmol/L (0-191.99)
SHBG 31.24nmol/L (16-55)
FSH 2.03 IU/L (1.5 - 12.4)
LH 7.9 IU/L (1.7 - 9.6)
Evidently i have some function down there ! The high E2 would explain why i still feel crap and have no libido etc, and balls are still small, as i added arimidex to trial and my testicles increased in size dramatically and hung lower. I fiddled around with the dosage a bit and fluctuated between high and low E2 without really finding my sweet spot ... but the mental side of things has led me to seek advice on what is actually best to do rather than mess with my hormones and emotions like this.
My question is should i stop all supps now and see where im at ? As the E2 is now high im scared it will just hammer that high test level back down as soon as i stop
So would i be better implementing a suicidal AI like aromasin and carrying on with the supplements so my testes come back a bit more before discontinuing by tapering ?
Thanks !!! Your time is so much appreciated im so down and on the verge of a breakdown
At age 22 in Around April/May 2015 i ran a cycle of test-e 250mg twice a week all the way up to September (few weeks in between i missed out because i couldn't get hold of test). I was young and stupid and was extremely negligent towards possible side affects.
Now i just want to be back to normal.
I threw anavar in towards the end of the cylce and my balls shrivelled up to nothing at one point. throughout the cycle and to this day i have had ed issues. I didnt use hcg or an AI on cycle. I think high E2 caused the ED.
At the end of the cycle in september 2015 i did a few weeks of nolvadex following dosgaes recommended online somewhere for about 4 weeks and threw in some arimidex not really knowing what i was doing. My libido was down and i always struggled to maintain an erection.
I had a bloods done in june 2016 after months of avoiding the GP and he said everything was fine and in range so i put it down to being a psychological thing
I was down and did some stupid 2/3 week course of winstrol at 50mg a day before i went on holiday in September 2016 as a bit of a confidence booster with some friends who are also uneducated on steroid use.
I paid my GP to see the blood results from june 2016 and the only useful value i could really see was that my total serum testosterone was 11.7nmol/L. This was 7 months after finishing the cycle so within range but when i looked ... well out for a 23 year old ?! My GP never picked up on this ... then i foolishly threw more steroids in myself ?!
I honestly just don't know what to do. My balls to me do look smaller than they once were but not severely atrophied and i just dont get the sexual urges i used to before steroids. I just dont feel like i used to before i touched them.
I paid to privately see an endo and he recommended i just wait it out as im young and it could take up to 3 years to return to homeostasis. The GP said i could have counselling.
I have been on OTC test boosters and PCT product with reservatrol in for the past two months and had bloods done last week which came in at:-
Testosterone 29.7nmol/L (7.6-31.4)
Free Test 0.677nmol/L (0.30 - 1)
Oestradiol 226.7pmol/L (0-191.99)
SHBG 31.24nmol/L (16-55)
FSH 2.03 IU/L (1.5 - 12.4)
LH 7.9 IU/L (1.7 - 9.6)
Evidently i have some function down there ! The high E2 would explain why i still feel crap and have no libido etc, and balls are still small, as i added arimidex to trial and my testicles increased in size dramatically and hung lower. I fiddled around with the dosage a bit and fluctuated between high and low E2 without really finding my sweet spot ... but the mental side of things has led me to seek advice on what is actually best to do rather than mess with my hormones and emotions like this.
My question is should i stop all supps now and see where im at ? As the E2 is now high im scared it will just hammer that high test level back down as soon as i stop
So would i be better implementing a suicidal AI like aromasin and carrying on with the supplements so my testes come back a bit more before discontinuing by tapering ?
Thanks !!! Your time is so much appreciated im so down and on the verge of a breakdown
