She completetly lost her sex drive.

C

Cirrus8

New member
Well there it is,

Im telling my story for the first time. My wife completely lost her libido (sex drive) after our second child, wich was 3 years ago. Now i love her with all my heart and she says she loves me too, but this is really starting to take its toll on me. I know it sounds self centered but im starting to freak out from the lack of sex.

She says shes tired all the time and the last thing on her mind is sex. I really help around the house and take care of the kids, what can i do more to help her help me ;) If theres any ladies out there plz asome advice would be greately appreciated. I really love her and would hate to end our life together because of this. Im really at the end of the tunnel right now, so plz help me see the light.


Cirrus
 
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wow this sucks bro. Something like this should probably be checked out from a doc. Sounds serious. Like as if she just cant get (horny) sorry for the straight forward statement. But is seems like it could be a medical thing. Like if you guys have sex say 1 or 2 times a month....thats life sometimes but if its likea few times a year.....SOMETHING is wrong.
Sorry to hear brotha
 
yeah, i told her to talk to her doc on the next appointement. I hope he finds something, and yeah well id be lucky if it was 1-2 times per month. when i say gone I mean completely gone. :(

Cirrus
 
Does she take birth control? My wife was experiencing the same issues. She talked to her doctor and she changed her birth control, now we are back to business as usuall!!!
 
she's been on and off birthcontrol for the last couple of years. But she will talk to her doc about that too. It could be so many things but it's hard to say cuz it's been going on for so long. I just need to talk to myself and not do anything crazy to jeoperdized our relationship. It's not like in 3 years i havent had any opportunaties to jump the fence, but i just dont wanna go that route. If i do feel like i wanna cheat on her, ill just leave her before doing that. I think it would be the manly thing to do. Pick up my balls and leave and find happiness else where. For crying out loud im 36 yo, i dont wanna wake up at 40 and saying UUUHHH I should of done this earlier. Anyways will see how the next months goes.

Cirrus
 
Good points above about going to doctor and see if its something physical or chemical. But I would also talk to her and let her know how you feel if you already have not done that. Sometimes guys like to refer to things and not just sit down and lay it out straight.

Lastly I would try a sex therapist or counselor to see if its a relationship or mental thing. There may be more to it then you know. Not to be crazy here but maybe shes already found something else.


Now after completing all of these things and giving it time you may have no other option than to leave and move on. I have heard quite a few guys go through this, but a lot of times what worked for them was to do something crazy like have a threesome, swing, etc. I have heard that a lot as weird as it is. Also as crazy as it might be maybe your wife would be fine with you having a mistress.
 
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Make nice sit down dinners and watch more porn with her, not hard core either, more storyline role-playing. Its more of a mood/mindset kinda deal. You have to make her feel sexy and get her in the mood. And the sexyer she feels the more her mind will be off her flaws and the easyer it will be to get her in the mood.
 
I know the feeling bro. My wife had a hysterectomy couple years ago and she has a hard time getting in mood. There is something that we use called oxytocin. She will put 5 or 10mg tab under her tongue till it dissolves. It will put her in a better mood but she won't want it all the time. We get that shit at university compunding drugs in California. Worth a try...
 
Thanks guys for all the help.

For thoses of you who mentionned the soft porn, you really dont know my wife lol. We use to have really hardcore sex and watch the most hardcore porn ever. She was the bomb before the kids im telling you a real porn star. So the little soft stuff dosent really do it for her. Time without the kids would help tho. So maybe going to the carribean and keeping her on viagra all week might be fun for me lol. And for 300winmag and the mistress idea not looking for that at all. If i had a mistress i would not be whining to you guys i would be fucking my brains off :). But like i said not looking for casual sex, i'm looking for the women i felt in love with.

Cirrus
 
Cirrus, I know this story all too well. Both from helping friends and personally. It's good that you communicate with her but often times when issues like this arise, too much talking starts to occur. Think about when you guys first started having sex, you guys weren't always talking about it you were just doing it.

What a lot of guys forget is that sex for women is much more psychological than it is for men. For men, it is mostly physical. When you are always talking about it, the woman starts to feel a lot of pressure which makes sex unappealing and if it does happen, it's awkward. Women like to feel like they have to chase sometimes too. When the man makes it apparent that he'll take whatever he can get, whenever he can, it puts the ball in her court and it comes off like a favor or responsibility, and most importantly unattractive.

Stop talking about it, act like you don't want it. Flirt with her, compliment her in a sexy way (not just "you look nice"), but do this without the tinge of needing sex. If it's never on her mind, start dropping little sexy comments throughout the day. Like if she's cooking, come up behind her, grab her butt, put your hands on her hips, kiss her neck and then just walk off. Try going out with a group of friends and openly flirt with other girls..not that you would do anything but confidence is a very attractive trait to a woman, also seeing their guy being wanted by another girl.

When you finally do have sex, don't make a big deal about it or talk about it. Show her how much you like it through physical means...kissing on her after wards and getting really in to it during. Lastly, you don't always have to have sex, a lot of us forget that. Start messing around with her again. If you guys are watching TV, start to brush against her clit softly, if she doesn't stop you then progress to going down on her. Don't say anything! Get her off and then go back to watching TV like nothing happened. Good luck

.....damn I'm good with girls.
 
Cirrus8 said:
Thanks guys for all the help.

For thoses of you who mentionned the soft porn, you really dont know my wife lol. We use to have really hardcore sex and watch the most hardcore porn ever. She was the bomb before the kids im telling you a real porn star. So the little soft stuff dosent really do it for her. Time without the kids would help tho. So maybe going to the carribean and keeping her on viagra all week might be fun for me lol. And for 300winmag and the mistress idea not looking for that at all. If i had a mistress i would not be whining to you guys i would be fucking my brains off :). But like i said not looking for casual sex, i'm looking for the women i felt in love with.

Cirrus
Click to expand...


Oh I agree and as I said above everybody has some good ideas. But after doing the logical things and it doesnt work sometimes something drastic must be done.
 
My wife had the same issue after our son was born 12 years ago. She really lost her libido for about 3 years, then went to a doctor and they gave her a hormonal balance prescription to take. She took that and was back to wanting to bang daily(Where before it was 3-4 weeks, and probably just for my sake.) So definitely have her talk to the doc and get a script. Cool thing is, after a few years of being on it, my wife didnt need it anymore and is back to normal naturally. Sounds hormonal to me.
 
I have been with my wife for 25 years and I still cant figure it out. If she will see a doc, take her NOW! My wife will not go and I have to make a choice, stay faithful or not. I can tell you this, I have stayed faithful all these years but it doesn't get easer , just different. I wish women understood how hared it can be on men when the withhold themselves, it makes us walk a very fine line. Good luck to you and me, I'm currently challenged and she as always has no idea.
 
bdad said:
Does she take birth control? My wife was experiencing the same issues. She talked to her doctor and she changed her birth control, now we are back to business as usuall!!!
Click to expand...

I know from being a girl myself that birth control pills are horrible for your sex drive. after 7 years of being on them i decided to go off of them and it was the best decision i ever made for my marriage.
 
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