*sigh* Mental Game Is Waning

kaname

New member
They trying to break me mentally man. I'm slowing thinking maybe I should start my bulking cycle. Hell I'm even to the point where I'm thinking about blasting and cruising for a little while (32 years old). Fuark man.

If one more co-worker calls me skinny! At my heaviest weight last year I was 261 lbs at 6'0. Decided to stop cycling (been just a bit over a year now...stopped towards the end of last year).

Doing my thing cutting down naturally (gained a lot of fat doing the dirty bulk thing). So decided to bring it down. I'm at 210 lbs now. I figured at about 200 lbs I would start the bulk (clean), but geez man I hardly can take it.

If it wasn't enough that my co-workers keep commenting on how "skinny" I am, even cats on the street are sizing me up differently. **Most know what I do as a career, I know some distrust me for it, but it is what it is** This part is hard to explain but it's a clear difference between the response I get now by whatever idiot running off at the mouth compared to just a year ago. I'm still happy to hand out some act right, but truth be told I would prefer the talk things out route. It's like these past 2 weeks have been insane. Idiots just not listening anymore. I've had what 3 fights in the past week alone. Officer presence goes a long way when you have the size to go along with it. Hell now that I here myself I'm almost starting to think I am skinny. I'm not even skinny, I have decent size on me. WTF man, these hippies, fuarking with my mind. I'm honestly worried about what I will look / feel like at 200 lbs.

Waiting on my order from PSL go come in. Figured I'd start it when I was down to where I wanted to be, but now man I kind of think I'm starting as soon as it comes in. Which I don't even know how I'm going to explain to my coach the sudden weight gain.

...... :sad:
 
Damn brother. I know that people tend to comment when we lose weight, and often exaggerate to make you feel good. Of course nobody that has been at this for any amount of time believes them, and often takes it as a negative.

I firmly believe that if you have this mindset, you'll carry yourself different - which may encourage douchebags to step up to the challenge. This would be quite the catch-22 as your mental state causes you to act a certain way, and the actions of others only confirms it in your head.

I could be wrong, but that's the battle I am constantly (I'm sure many others too) fighting on a daily basis. Granted, mine's different, but same idea.

My .02c :)
 
Damn brother. I know that people tend to comment when we lose weight, and often exaggerate to make you feel good. Of course nobody that has been at this for any amount of time believes them, and often takes it as a negative.

I firmly believe that if you have this mindset, you'll carry yourself different - which may encourage douchebags to step up to the challenge. This would be quite the catch-22 as your mental state causes you to act a certain way, and the actions of others only confirms it in your head.

I could be wrong, but that's the battle I am constantly (I'm sure many others too) fighting on a daily basis. Granted, mine's different, but same idea.

My .02c :)

Yea but you live in the ocean and you're made out of a sponge so it's natural for you to absorb stuff easily. <----guessing I'm the only one who got that joke.

But yea I hear you. I know I shouldn't even be letting it bother me to begin with. And I am carrying myself differently (hell I even wear long sleeves to help mentally stay focused on the end game). Maybe it's the lack of greasy meals that's getting to me.
 
Yea but you live in the ocean and you're made out of a sponge so it's natural for you to absorb stuff easily. <----guessing I'm the only one who got that joke.

But yea I hear you. I know I shouldn't even be letting it bother me to begin with. And I am carrying myself differently (hell I even wear long sleeves to help mentally stay focused on the end game). Maybe it's the lack of greasy meals that's getting to me.

It definitely is moist in Bikini Bottom. ;)

Have a cheat day brother. I wish I could say I dropped 200lbs by sheer willpower, but without the occasional cheesecake or pizza - I'd have gone NUTS.

That or wear a smiley face button on your lapel. That would seriously scare the shit out of me if I got a knock on the door by a guy wearing that on his uniform. Lol
 
Is all in your head bro. Im your height at 195 and i wrecked a guy that was 6'4" around 230lb. If they want to fight then wreck them. Your a cop and you know what you signed up for. Don't let these punks mentally fuq you
 
I HATE the cutting part at times. even if you look bigger without shirt, you still feel small.
its ok buddy, bulking time is around the corner ; )
 
The feels in this thread, time to up the AI dose? :)

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@ everyone: Thanks for the motivation guys. Down to 209.6 lbs today. I know I'm close, guess I just needed to vent a bit. I was getting so sick of everyone at work calling me skinny now. Went in for court today and walked by one of the guys who teaches at the Academy. He immediately stopped and starred at me. I knew what he was about to say, so I just told him "don't even say it man." O well craps almost over 9 more lbs to go. Staying on my grind.
 
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@ everyone: Thanks for the motivation guys. Down to 209.6 lbs today. I know I'm close, guess I just needed to vent a bit. I was getting so sick of everyone at work calling me skinny now. Went in for court today and walked by one of the guys who teaches at the Academy. He immediately stopped and starred at me. I knew what he was about to say, so I just told him "don't even say it man." O well craps almost over 9 more lbs to go. Staying on my grind.

Great attitude, keep that all in mind and when you are ready to bulk again make it Your B*tch
 
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