ImAuNatural
New member
Well as you know me and my girlfriend of 4 years broke up.
We goto school together and have all the same classes together and work at the same company.
We hadn't talked for 3 days at all (which has never happened) and I was at work losing my mind, so I wlak back to her area to try to ask her if she will just come over after work so we can talk and work things out or at least just get some closure.
She tells me to go away that she doesn't want to be with me anymore, tells me she is happier without me and that she is having fun.
I break down and cry and kept trying to talk to her, she kept telling me to go away. I ask for a hug she says no I said well this may be the last time you ever see my face alive and I ran out of my work (while in the clock).
I had every intention of killing myself, I felt as if though I had nothing left to lose in my life and losing her combined with school stress and finals coming up and financial issues and trying to get a loan for school all made me feel this way.
I goto the bank withdraw all of my money in my savings and checkins ($500) and I give it out in the form of $20's to random people,who looked like they could use it, in line and outside as I would have no use for it after I killed myself.
I goto the liquor store buy a bottle of Jack and drive for 3 hours, I texted all of my "friends" and what little family I have left and told them I am sorry and that I loved them but I couldn't take this life anymore.
I was looking for a place far away from home that was peaceful and pretty, I was going to chug the bottle and then take my glock to my head and end it.
I couldn't go through with it though something woke me up and made me realize how stupid I was being.
The cops had been called and there was a search warrant out for me.
My ex didn't even call to see if I was alive she texted me and then when I replied she had blocked my number.
So we haven't spoken since last Wednesday.
My work tells me yesterday that I am fired. I have been there 2 years and made good money for my age and had good benefits and it was super close to my home (2 minutes away). I even got my ex the job there earlier this year.
Now I'm broke completely, and jobless, I lost 15lbs of weight the past two weeks form stress and not eating, I feel small AF, my workouts suck.
I had classes today and my ex came to all of them and still sat beside me and ignored me the whole damn time I didn't try to speak to her either but it still hurts.
I'm sorry for the ling wall of text I just like to vent to you all and ask for advice.
On top of this I'm behind on my school work now, finals are next week, and I wont have the money to pay for my tuition next semester.
Before you judge me and tell me I am pathetic or stupid or crazy please try to understand you have not lived my life and do not know what I have gone through at such a young age. Also she is all I had left, my bestfriend, my girlfriend, my gym partner, everything all in one. Gone just like that. Being rejected and ignored by the one person on this earth that you thought loved you and cared about you, that you would die for and would have married and made the mother of your children, is a very painful thing.
I'm staying strong and having faith that everything is happening for a reason, I just don't understand why I have had to go through so much shit in my life when I try so hard to be good to everyone and to become successful.
Thanks for reading if you made it this far.
We goto school together and have all the same classes together and work at the same company.
We hadn't talked for 3 days at all (which has never happened) and I was at work losing my mind, so I wlak back to her area to try to ask her if she will just come over after work so we can talk and work things out or at least just get some closure.
She tells me to go away that she doesn't want to be with me anymore, tells me she is happier without me and that she is having fun.
I break down and cry and kept trying to talk to her, she kept telling me to go away. I ask for a hug she says no I said well this may be the last time you ever see my face alive and I ran out of my work (while in the clock).
I had every intention of killing myself, I felt as if though I had nothing left to lose in my life and losing her combined with school stress and finals coming up and financial issues and trying to get a loan for school all made me feel this way.
I goto the bank withdraw all of my money in my savings and checkins ($500) and I give it out in the form of $20's to random people,who looked like they could use it, in line and outside as I would have no use for it after I killed myself.
I goto the liquor store buy a bottle of Jack and drive for 3 hours, I texted all of my "friends" and what little family I have left and told them I am sorry and that I loved them but I couldn't take this life anymore.
I was looking for a place far away from home that was peaceful and pretty, I was going to chug the bottle and then take my glock to my head and end it.
I couldn't go through with it though something woke me up and made me realize how stupid I was being.
The cops had been called and there was a search warrant out for me.
My ex didn't even call to see if I was alive she texted me and then when I replied she had blocked my number.
So we haven't spoken since last Wednesday.
My work tells me yesterday that I am fired. I have been there 2 years and made good money for my age and had good benefits and it was super close to my home (2 minutes away). I even got my ex the job there earlier this year.
Now I'm broke completely, and jobless, I lost 15lbs of weight the past two weeks form stress and not eating, I feel small AF, my workouts suck.
I had classes today and my ex came to all of them and still sat beside me and ignored me the whole damn time I didn't try to speak to her either but it still hurts.
I'm sorry for the ling wall of text I just like to vent to you all and ask for advice.
On top of this I'm behind on my school work now, finals are next week, and I wont have the money to pay for my tuition next semester.
Before you judge me and tell me I am pathetic or stupid or crazy please try to understand you have not lived my life and do not know what I have gone through at such a young age. Also she is all I had left, my bestfriend, my girlfriend, my gym partner, everything all in one. Gone just like that. Being rejected and ignored by the one person on this earth that you thought loved you and cared about you, that you would die for and would have married and made the mother of your children, is a very painful thing.
I'm staying strong and having faith that everything is happening for a reason, I just don't understand why I have had to go through so much shit in my life when I try so hard to be good to everyone and to become successful.
Thanks for reading if you made it this far.
