Charles Bronson
old timey gentleman
ok, here goes..
i was bouncing at a shithole biker bar.. real fucking pirate ship
the bouncer before me was a cop that took the job off duty for extra cash and said - fuck this!
it was that bad.
some toothless fucking guy is getting hammered at the bar with his raggedy ass ol lady, they're laughing and kissing and its good times
like out of no where, i hear " you old fucking whore!"
he grabs her by the throat, jacks her off the stool and against the wall and starts rabbit punching her in the fucking face. she had enough wherewithal to put her head down after the first few shots so he was basically just lumping up her skull by the time i yoked him and pulled him off her..
I'm talking into his ear while I'm choke-walking him towards the back door - hey brother, there are cameras in here and everything that just happened will be played in court if your here when the cops show up ; my bar tender is a real cunt and i know she's on the phone with the cops right now man ( its her fault he could go to jail, and I'm helping him, ok?) so just calm down and get out of here before they show up and haul you off bro..
his response " get off me or ill fucking killllll yaaa!"
so i locked it in the yoke nice and tight and he starts to take a nap.. he's in and out , I'm walking him out the back door and out of camera view so i can punish him if he swings on me..
he is calming down nicely once he realizes just how fucking caught he is, and starts telling me he just wants to go home
(perfect, I'm helping you escape from the law! I'm not throwing you out!)
this is as close to a happy ending as this can ever get
we are to the back door, I'm just about to let him go.. and i hear " get off my man you motherucker!"
its the raggedy old lady with the black eyes and all the knots on her head.
i started to tell her - we are good, lets all get out of here before johnny law shows up- and i hear this slapping sound, feels like a fucking bee the size of a turkey stung my fiucking back
i choke slam the toothless wonder out the door and onto the pavement, slam the door and dead bolt it - turn around and this bitch is looking at me like she just saw a ghost.
something warm is now running down my back, and that bee sting from the turkey sized wasp is like ummm..
way worse now or something..
reach up and feel over my shoulder..
yep thats blood..
and whats this? a fucking nail file about 5'' long slides out of my god damn trap.
oh yes.
the nice lady who i just rescued from having her face beaten in? she had tried to stick a sharpened nail file into my neck, and instead buried it in my trap.
she tried to flee. but somehow the 50 something year old booze hag wasn't quick enough - i grabbed cuntzilla by her bleached out perm and drug her to the back door.
the last 4 feet or so of the hallway was off camera.
she slipped several times and hit her head on the metal door frame.
i mean five or six really hard whacks
i tried to assist her , but she kept stumbling and hitting her head against the door frame like she was determined to put a dent in the fucking thing.
luckily i still had her by the hair, and kept her from losing her feet and falling to the ground..
until i slipped the dead bolt, threw the door open, where her man was sitting on the ground cross legged smoking a cigerette talking on his cell phone..
he was startled - " what the fuck is this?!?!"
this is your ugly cunt girlfriend - she just said your lucky i managed to stop her from stabbing you with this nail file - said she was about to take you the fuck out AND she wants me to hold you here till the cops come so she can press charges !!!
i swung the beast by her perm out into the parking lot -
" you deal with her bro! I'm totally out of this and there are no cops coming - it is all you"
fuck. im stabbed? my bartender was cool as fuck, patch due up more than once - told me it wasn't THAT bad, totally relieved..
just gross because of how disgusting the bitch was that shanked me
anyhow!! a regular from the bar had went out back, came in a few minutes later and said her old man had finished what he started in the bar - and pounded her pretty good - now the cops were here!! yay! this is exactly when and where we like to see the cops show up kids!!!
long story a little longer.. they both went to jail , him for fucking her up royally, and her for shanking me with a nail file.
for my money the whole thing pretty much ended like a disney movie.
turns out he had already warrants, and she had to be hospitalized
good times.
soemboudy have a fucked up bitch story to share?
lets hear it
i was bouncing at a shithole biker bar.. real fucking pirate ship
the bouncer before me was a cop that took the job off duty for extra cash and said - fuck this!
it was that bad.
some toothless fucking guy is getting hammered at the bar with his raggedy ass ol lady, they're laughing and kissing and its good times
like out of no where, i hear " you old fucking whore!"
he grabs her by the throat, jacks her off the stool and against the wall and starts rabbit punching her in the fucking face. she had enough wherewithal to put her head down after the first few shots so he was basically just lumping up her skull by the time i yoked him and pulled him off her..
I'm talking into his ear while I'm choke-walking him towards the back door - hey brother, there are cameras in here and everything that just happened will be played in court if your here when the cops show up ; my bar tender is a real cunt and i know she's on the phone with the cops right now man ( its her fault he could go to jail, and I'm helping him, ok?) so just calm down and get out of here before they show up and haul you off bro..
his response " get off me or ill fucking killllll yaaa!"
so i locked it in the yoke nice and tight and he starts to take a nap.. he's in and out , I'm walking him out the back door and out of camera view so i can punish him if he swings on me..
he is calming down nicely once he realizes just how fucking caught he is, and starts telling me he just wants to go home
(perfect, I'm helping you escape from the law! I'm not throwing you out!)
this is as close to a happy ending as this can ever get
we are to the back door, I'm just about to let him go.. and i hear " get off my man you motherucker!"
its the raggedy old lady with the black eyes and all the knots on her head.
i started to tell her - we are good, lets all get out of here before johnny law shows up- and i hear this slapping sound, feels like a fucking bee the size of a turkey stung my fiucking back
i choke slam the toothless wonder out the door and onto the pavement, slam the door and dead bolt it - turn around and this bitch is looking at me like she just saw a ghost.
something warm is now running down my back, and that bee sting from the turkey sized wasp is like ummm..
way worse now or something..
reach up and feel over my shoulder..
yep thats blood..
and whats this? a fucking nail file about 5'' long slides out of my god damn trap.
oh yes.
the nice lady who i just rescued from having her face beaten in? she had tried to stick a sharpened nail file into my neck, and instead buried it in my trap.
she tried to flee. but somehow the 50 something year old booze hag wasn't quick enough - i grabbed cuntzilla by her bleached out perm and drug her to the back door.
the last 4 feet or so of the hallway was off camera.
she slipped several times and hit her head on the metal door frame.
i mean five or six really hard whacks
i tried to assist her , but she kept stumbling and hitting her head against the door frame like she was determined to put a dent in the fucking thing.
luckily i still had her by the hair, and kept her from losing her feet and falling to the ground..
until i slipped the dead bolt, threw the door open, where her man was sitting on the ground cross legged smoking a cigerette talking on his cell phone..
he was startled - " what the fuck is this?!?!"
this is your ugly cunt girlfriend - she just said your lucky i managed to stop her from stabbing you with this nail file - said she was about to take you the fuck out AND she wants me to hold you here till the cops come so she can press charges !!!
i swung the beast by her perm out into the parking lot -
" you deal with her bro! I'm totally out of this and there are no cops coming - it is all you"
fuck. im stabbed? my bartender was cool as fuck, patch due up more than once - told me it wasn't THAT bad, totally relieved..
just gross because of how disgusting the bitch was that shanked me
anyhow!! a regular from the bar had went out back, came in a few minutes later and said her old man had finished what he started in the bar - and pounded her pretty good - now the cops were here!! yay! this is exactly when and where we like to see the cops show up kids!!!
long story a little longer.. they both went to jail , him for fucking her up royally, and her for shanking me with a nail file.
for my money the whole thing pretty much ended like a disney movie.
turns out he had already warrants, and she had to be hospitalized
good times.
soemboudy have a fucked up bitch story to share?
lets hear it
