This actually ended up being a good thread if you can read through all the emotional baggage. Yes, Rodstar, nobody today likes being told to wait.
And yes, we all started somewhere. I started with no idea really of what I was doing in the gym. I knew the fundamentals of good nutrition. I just new I somehow was missing something, and steroids could probably take me there. It took me all of 15 minutes to find a source through Google. I ordered a pre-designed beginners stack online. It included no instruction for its use, but thankfully at least rudimentary post cycle therapy (pct) drugs. I didn't even know if my source was reputable. Again, thankfully it was. My new gym, again thankfully, had a trainer who made sense of everything for me. She knew where I wanted to go and designed a four day split routine, the basis of which I still use today. A bunch of happy accidents got me going in the right direction. But we're telling you you don't have to rely on dumb luck alone. I didn't find Steroidology until I was well underway.
You may not always like the personalities who you run into here. But try to unearth the principals they're trying to convey. Get out of the way of your own ego. Listen. Ask more questions.
Steroids aren't magic. And they only work for the body in the right condition. Get yourself in better shape first! That's the principal being conveyed. Reduce your body fat. Research your diet. Get comfortable with a weekly routine of strenuous resistance training. Yes, bro, learn how to lift!
Only then will a cycle of steroids make sense to you and your body. Untill these pre conditions are met, steroids will do you no good.
I'm afraid, the informed answer still is..... You can't have it yet. You're not ready.
You have to wait.
At least a year. Learn to train. Learn to eat clean. Learn to eat big. 2000 cals is less than a maintence diet for almost all of us. But jumping into a 5000cal deit may cause dammage to your digestive system. Let your body guide you. As you start to lift heavier, you will become hungrier. Avoid salt, sugar, and processed food. Learn to cook! Lose the body fat first.
As a denizen of a modern consumer society, I'm sure this is a confusing message.