Honestly, I've been where you are a few years back. I understand your mentality, and what you're trying to do. I am trying to help, and you'll notice I am not the only one that has pointed out where you are going wrong. Let me take it a step further by saying that it's obvious you're not happy with your life; you're looking to improve yourself, and most likely prove yourself to someone. You desperately want to get your life back on track, get out of your parents and feel good about yourself right? You're hoping quickly and drastically improving your own body will be a big step towards self respect, yes?
Jumping in with steroids at your age, and how fast you're trying to do it is not going to end well. You're trying to educate yourself on steroids, start your first cycle, learn and fix your diet, fix your life, stop drinking, stop smoking, get out of your parents house..... all at the same time. Trust me, steroids aren't your quick fix. Take it from a recovered (heavy) drug addict that had to hit rock bottom before realizing.... you need to take it one step at a time and not search for that quick fix.
I've given you my suggestion; spend a year or two working on your diet, quit smoking, and break your heavy drinking addiction before starting your first steroid cycle. It takes more than 3 weeks to declassify yourself as a heavy drinker. Get serious about your health, and take improving your life one step at a time. Steroids is NOT the first step, its an add-on to an already rock solid foundation.
Whatever you decide, good luck and I honestly hope it works out well for you. I would hate to see you as a testosterone replacement therapy (TRT) patient or get caught mid cycle by your parents, or just end up falling back on your journey to improving your life.
X
*edit* ... talk to 3J about nutrition, I am sure he can give you a foundation what will make you feel and look great...