I don't know what to do anymore. Please help.

I just signed up to ask the exact same question. I***8217;m in the same situation, how does this website work? Can anybody talk to me? I feel so lost

it will hurt like a motherfucker i promise you, it will feel like your insides have been ripped apart, like your heart has been torn! "Its not real, he loves me really, i can make him better" everything i tell myself is lies!! i was too weak to leave him and look where that has got me. You know why im back on this website? I have been praying that he comes back to me, he left me a month ago, he wanted to take pictures lifting girls, thats all he told me, i got insecure and upset, said can we talk, no he didnt talk, he left me! is that a relationship? if he spoke to me, explained maybe then i would have felt at ease but the dog couldnt even give me that. from "youre my soulmate, i can never leave you, i will never be with another girl, i will always come back to you if we ever were to be apart", to "if you want to have sex then call me if not dont fucking bother me" ???? is that LOVE? I was sooooooooooo desperate, so blind, rememebering the 'good' times. the good times mean nothing, its just their sick and twisted way of trapping you, of course there will be good times! how else will be find attachment to that person? its what happens after, is it love if he beats me? is it love when im upset and he doesnt care? is it love when he makes me so insecure? no of course not! i used to feel so ugly before, physically and mentally ugly. but you know what, i am not! i have a beautoful heart, a beautiful soul and i am a fucking good person! even if i was "ugly" i would still never deserve what he has done to me. I BEG YOU, LEAVE HIM. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!! i want kids one day, i do not want kids with a horrible person like him, never. TODAY, after crying, begging, praying we sort things out, i find out hes been taking an 18 year old girl to nandos, then she put a picture up in his car, near his house! i recognised the place! then they went gym. this is the girl i was once insecure over!!! all that time i was calling and emailing him crying begging for us to sort things out, he was taking her out, having a laugh, who knows probably took her to his house and fucked her too, his parents are away on holiday. i dont care, if he did he can carry on. hes a dog, he is a ifbb personal trainer, no he wont succeed because people will see his true colours, one day a girl will be strong enough to tell the world about him. this is as far as i can go.

Please leave this person, please!!!!!! do not do it to yourself, it will hurt so much, i was so down sometimes i just wanted to end my life, but why the hell should i when he gets to be so happy? listen to me, i beg you, leave that person, do not feel sorry for that person, they know what theyre doing, and they do not love you. stop thinking about good times, speak to a counsellor, speak to friends, speak to me! talk to people!!!
I didnt make it past him hitting you. Leave. Just leave.

I have been on a Buffett of medications due to epilepsy and even in fits of rage where I was shaking and unable to even form sentence did I ever hit my wife.

I'm sorry I can't read more but it'll get stuck in my head and I'll have fantasies of fighting him. I cant stand woman beaters.

You deserve better.

I DO deserve better and I will HAVE better.
I hate him, ive never ever hated anyone in my life, but i hate him. and im not sorry for it.
He very nearly ruined my life. I was so insecure, I am fucking beautiful, anyone who tries to hurt me, who doesnt respect me, is out the door. i dont need anyone but myself. LOVE is not a fucking game, it actually means something. maybe im too old fashioned, but love to me is magical, its about never ever giving up, promises and vows should never ever be forgotten. maybe i wanted a love like my parents, mum stuck with dad through everything, was there with him when he took his last breath. of course they fought as well, but they made it. that was real. if a man can promise you so much, call you his soulmate, and then leave over me feeling a bit insecure of him taking pictures of him lifting girls up, rather than comforting me? he can carry on. i will never let him father my children, my own. whats the point in takign steroids, going to gym, looking good, thinking youre a 'man' when you cant even pick on another man but only women? i helped him become an ifbb personal trainer, i supported him through it all, i wont ruin his life by telling the guy who gave him that title or his friends, but i was so close, i want to ruin him, but i wont. part of me feels like i should say something, he shouldnt be allowed to train people esp women, he should be allowed to be with a woman, i wont forgive myself if he kills someone. but i cant say anything, i cant because sadly, it isnt that easy for me. i wish it was but i cant do that.

please keep me in your thoughts everyone, just hope i better myself as a person, i become stronger and find the goodness that i had in me again.