I need a Honest Females advise on this

[Darco76]

okay, you all know that when it comes to the 'woman game' guys think they know everything..but in reality, we dont know anything. (i'm admitting it, give me my cookie) anyway..... heres the question, with some background...bare with me...


My Junior year ('99) my life was falling apart....put in the middle with the parents divorce (if any of yall are going threw one, please dont put your kids in the middle...its easier said than done!!)...then on top of that my mom was getting remarried in july, so that was extra tough...

now yall might not belive in, "Gifts from God''...but i met this girl, she was a yr. older than i was, so she just grad. highschool.....now we went out for a year, and i (we) feel HARDDDDDDDD...i mean it was the ony thing that brought me up to reality during the 'dark ages' .... so it comes time where she had to go off to college 4 hrs. away...and we break up...it was the hardest time in my life...see my whole senior year, my live was so revolved around this girl, that i screwed around...so i was stuck at the community college after graduation... so we break up, and still to this day i think about her all the time....its sick...now i MUST SAY that i have came a LONG WAY since '00...for a year str8 i was a nervous wreck, couldnt eat, could't sleep..just cried every day....i know it might sound like im a weakling, and to an extent i was...but it was seriously like my whole life/happiness was snatched away from me and all i got back for 2.5 yrs was a bunch of teasing....i was her 'security blanket' so when anything happend to her she always called me to talk about it......i know i have been lead on for the past 3 yrs. it was like i was her 'summer home boy'...it was NEVER a intimate relationship, just words..and words mean more than anything...you say the right words to somebody, you can really hurt them ya know......

okay im blabbing on and on, and im sorry....

so she graduated in May, and she lives back in my town *sucks right, i dont go to certain bars, cuz she might be there, i try to stay around from the scene...i couldnt stand to see he with anybody, nor do i want to fall back into that trap again*....

but i was just driving around with a buddy..and she pulled out in front of us, and i saw her for the first time in a year, and MEMORIES flooded my mind...how bad i miss her/want her/love her...although she treated me like shit, we were both young, only 17-18.....but i can still say that i love her more than anything....

my question is.....do woman just forget about their ex's... i mean is something wrong for me to thin like this... is it natural...it just bothers me to think that im not thought of like i think of her, although i can't do anything about it...we havent talked since christmas of last year haha......

but....do you think she still remembers me/us/memories?

dont flame me on this, this is a heart talking here, that has a lot of questions but noone to answer them.

~Blake

 

[supergirl]

honey.. it is NOT wrong for you to be feeling this way.. LOVE HURTS!! but love is great too!!

Why can't you talk to her??.. maybe she is thinking of you too.. but you will never know unless you ask!! Nothing ventured nothing gained..

imo, it is the NOT knowing that is a killer!! At least if you confront her and spill your guts (remember there is NO room for pride when it comes to love) and if she turns you down, at least you will have your answer and can move on.. but now you are in limbo NOT knowing how she feels or what she wants..

so my advice is put aside your pride and ask to see her.. talk to her.. tell her how you feel.. maybe things will go your way.. maybe they will not, but LOVE is worth risking everything for!!!

good luck!!!

luv super

 

[Darco76]

i guess i just figured that after 3 yrs. of running over me, telling me what i wanted to hear *if it was a game or not, i have no clue*.....but its my turn to wait ..instead of making myself look like a fool again and go for it....but your right its a pride thing....also a yr without talking, that to me is a sign ....haha but i also think way to much....im a negative person, i think till something literally makes me sick

thanx for your help though!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
sometimes i need a kick to get my mind in order

 

[slobberknocker]

If you still want her I guess you could find out if she has any feelings for you. I wouldn't go and just spill all your guts though until you hear something from her side. Just call her and talk to her, ask her what she's been up to. You'll know from a conversation if there's still anything there.


And then, if there's nothing there, you gotta let it go man.

 

[Darco76]

reality is a bitch man....its hard to face the truth, when you want something soo bad...but i can't allow myself to fall first...if anything she has to make the first move whenever that comes/if at all.....just sometimes i get caught up in the emotions again, and it wears me down...ah-well

i apprciate it

 

[supergirl]

PRIDE!! you men and your pride lol..

 

[Darco76]

PRIDE!! you men and your pride lol..

i dont see how pride is even concidered in this...i mean if you were to get ran over you fel ltike for 3 yrs...why would you want to make yet the 1st move in the leap of absence....shouldn't you feel that he should if he wanted it?

 

[supergirl]

honey.. again.. there are NO RULES nor room for pride in a relationship..

i mean, you can sit there and hold your breathe and wait for her to make a move and continue to agonize over the past 3 years and continue to wonder how she feels.. and keep on analyzing the years and creating scenarios for the situation..

OR you can bite the bullet and ask her!! That way you have your answer and can move on with your life and stop the torment!!

IF YOU MAKE A MOVE... you will know for yourself where you stand and if there is a future for you two..

If you wait for her.. you may be waiting until you are blue in the face and you may NEVER know..

IMO, i would rather know where i stand then wondering hopelessly..


it is either confront her or give it up and forget about her and move on already.. but god babes.. do something about it already.. 3 years is a LONG time to waste pining over some chick that you have no idea if she even feels the same way..

just trying to help.. i have a few years on ya and have been through situations like this over and over again.. and i always like to KNOW

luv super

 

[atherjen]

Im with Super on this. great advice. I cant offer any because I have no such luck in relationships or men.
but hope everything works out for you!

 

[bigbuffstaples]

Blake, i didn't wanna reply, this being a female forum and all, but i gotta reply.

I'm sure you and most of you may have read about me and my girl breaking up. We were together 3 years and i was closer to her then anyone in this world. I was closer to her then my family even. But shit's all fucked up and i think our problem is, we were getting TOO serious too young and we both need to clear our heads, but it's hard, but anyway this isn't about me it's about you Blake. What i'm saying is i know exactly how you feel, i mean i've only been done with her for 2 weeks, but we were together 3 years. And when you told me you were still feeling this way after 3 years, and someone else i know told me it took them almost a year to get over an ex. i was like FUCK THAT! Man, i love (we'll call her...) Mrs. J so much. I think I always will. And i know how you feel because for me, i still have feelings for Mrs. J and i think she still does for me, but it's hard to think that after all you've gone through, that you feel one way, and it feels shitty knowing that it's possible that they don't feel the same way back. It's like you feel unwanted and it hurts. And i'm the kind of person that thinks TOO much too... i was thinking of the future, i mean valantine's day is coming up, her birthday is a month after that, then mine is a month after that, we were gonna travel together this summer,,, it's hard to think that all of those great thoughts are now just NOTHING other then great thoughts that won't happen. And i'm sure your proabably thinking stuff like memories of great things you did together and things like that right?
But like i said, when i heard it was taking people so long to get over their ex's, i thought no way that's gonna be me,,, i was so fucking miserable after me and Mrs. J broke up and i knew i didn't wanna feel that way for a long time. And i kept thinking, i don't wanna keep showing her how i really feel, because she'll either feel pity for me, or she'll think i'm pathetic and not ever wanna be around me. So i went up to her at work and said i was completely over her,,, well she couldn't believe it, she started asking why? and if i got with another girl, was it my friends telling me to get over her? was it working out? then she started crying, and i hugged her and just told her i can't stay living like this, just being sad about it. She said she was cool, but people told me she just kept crying after i left.
So i think that if you show this girl that your really sad by it all, it's almost like a power that you don't think about, but she might feel in control, but if you show her that your over her, then if she feels bad, then you know from there that she must have feelings for you.
The difference between our situations is that you've been away from your ex for a year or more now, where for me it's only been like 2 weeks, and we work together, have some of the same friends, and still wanna be great friends.
But man, no matter what, don't feel like your weak, or unwanted or anything like that. I even started writting things that i like and dislike about her and our relationship that we had. Stupid things like that helped me. But i really think that you should do what you feel in your heart. Because no matter what any of us or anyone else says, it doesn't matter, because only YOU can make you happy. So if you really feel deep down that you wanna tell her how you feel, then man just do it! What's the biggest thing your affraid will happen? That's right, that you'll get rejected, but in a way you already have, so if she says she doesn't want you anymore, then yeah it'll probably hit you hard again for a bit, but at least you'll KNOW that it is over and this will be your closure. But then again, maybe she'll tell you that she really missed you. You don't know, maybe she feels the same way you do right now but she doesn't want to show you and she's too affraid to tell you. But if you do talk to her, go in knowning that it can go either way and try not to have your mind set on any certain answer that she'll give you. I really hope this helps you out, i really do. Because it's one of the shittiest situations to be in. I keep thinking to myself that maybe in 10 years i'll wonder what life would have been like if i was still with Mrs. J,,, but only time will tell what is going to happen.

Good luck bro.
Just keep smiling

 

[bigbuffstaples]

PRIDE!! you men and your pride lol..

I agree with a lot of the things you were saying,,, but i don't really think Blake's situation has anything to do with Pride,,, and maybe this "chick" is more then that to him. I'm not trying to be argumentative or putting you down, because like i said i agree with a lot of the things you said.

Also to you girls out there,,,, there are guys out there who want more then just sex too. Sure sex is important, but there's more to life then that. I'd rather have a really healthy relationship with great sex then just sex.


and girls,,, i think blake needs a group hug!!!!

 

[bigbuffstaples]

I cant offer any because I have no such luck in relationships or men.

I'm having a hard time trying to figure out why this could be true.

That sort of sounds sarcastic, but it's not,,, i really don't know how it could be true.

 

[atherjen]

I'm having a hard time trying to figure out why this could be true.

That sort of sounds sarcastic, but it's not,,, i really don't know how it could be true.

dont question it... its true! I havent figured out why either

 

[Darco76]

I keep thinking to myself that maybe in 10 years i'll wonder what life would have been like if i was still with Mrs. J,,, but only time will tell what is going to happen.

your right bro... i cant think you enough on your/yalls post....

i just think way way way to much intostuff....so much that it actually makes me sick ...not good at all...... it would be differnt if there was another girl that hit me hard between these past yrs...but the only thought of 'love' came from my ex...so thats all i can relate to when it comes to 'man, i wish i had somebody to talk to' ...
reason why i dont want to just go str8 up and ask is...1. we dont talk at all 2. i dont want to get rejected by the same girl for the 10th time *dont know numbers, but rejected again* 3. i kinda like the thought that maybe one day..just one day something iwll happen!..... but i mean, hahah in 4 months, im moving away out of town..and my mom is selling the house to move with my dad in Waco where he moved for buisness.... soo really....theres no poing in worrying about the future, cuz nobody knows whats going to happen tom.!!!

thanx bro...im glad we can relate on some stuff...


its just so much easier for a girl to say 'talk to her..ask her'' i mean....thigs hit home HARD TO ME...and asking and getting denied will defiantly get it accross my mind.....but i dont want to worry about what i would feel afterwards in ways of depression, ect......... nobody wants to hear that the girl/boy they were DEEPLY IN LOVE WITH..doesnt want anything to do with ya....so just keep it a mysterie...maybe one day i'll have the balls to say something...but i dont want to be the 1st....ive tried soo many times..its time for me to just chill out, if she wants it, she can do it...just hope im there to listen *to her perspective*

 

[bigbuffstaples]

dont question it... its true! I havent figured out why either

I'm thinking it's definately NOT because of your looks, i think we could all guess that one... and if a guy took the time to get to know you, it couldn't be that either,,, i'm gonna go on a limb and guess that your either too picky, or guys you meet only want sex???

If i'm wrong,,, then it makes no sense to me...???

 

[Darco76]

sex is weird....it can break ya...never woul dhave thought it..but its true

 

[bigbuffstaples]

thanx bro...im glad we can relate on some stuff...

Definately man,,, i'm cool to talk about this shit because in a way we're both going through it right now,,, and doesn't it suck when you don't know who to talk to? for me, whenever i had something i really needed to talk about, i'd talk to Mrs. J about it...... and she called me tonight, i was on the phone for 25 minutes with her,,, what the fuck? She just wanted to talk, and not about anything, she keeps telling me about this fuckin hampster that she got!!! (To replace me???? what the fuck?)... and i'm tryin to get her to cut my hair (she's gonna be a hair dresser and she's been cuttin my hair for like 2 years now), and tomorrow night would be the only night we'd have free, but she was like "I wanna hang out with friends".. i'm thinkin FUCK YOU,,, so now i gotta wait at least a week with my hair getting ever so longer!!



haha sorry man, i'm hijacking your thread.... But honestly, just do what you feel is right, and i've heard the only way to get over a girl is to get another one, but it's hard when the only girl you think about is the one your tryin to get over. And it does suck about the thinking too much thing,,, ever try writting things to yourself? sounds fucked but it's what i did and i feel a lot better.. and you pretty much gotta talk about it as much as you can, just keep blabing on about it until your getting sick of talking about her, that's what i did too. Good luck bro.

 

[bigbuffstaples]

sex is weird....it can break ya...never woul dhave thought it..but its true

what do you mean?

 

[Darco76]

Definately man,,, i'm cool to talk about this shit because in a way we're both going through it right now,,, and doesn't it suck when you don't know who to talk to? for me, whenever i had something i really needed to talk about, i'd talk to Mrs. J about it...... and she called me tonight, i was on the phone for 25 minutes with her,,, what the fuck? She just wanted to talk, and not about anything, she keeps telling me about this fuckin hampster that she got!!! (To replace me???? what the fuck?)... and i'm tryin to get her to cut my hair (she's gonna be a hair dresser and she's been cuttin my hair for like 2 years now), and tomorrow night would be the only night we'd have free, but she was like "I wanna hang out with friends".. i'm thinkin FUCK YOU,,, so now i gotta wait at least a week with my hair getting ever so longer!!



haha sorry man, i'm hijacking your thread.... But honestly, just do what you feel is right, and i've heard the only way to get over a girl is to get another one, but it's hard when the only girl you think about is the one your tryin to get over. And it does suck about the thinking too much thing,,, ever try writting things to yourself? sounds fucked but it's what i did and i feel a lot better.. and you pretty much gotta talk about it as much as you can, just keep blabing on about it until your getting sick of talking about her, that's what i did too. Good luck bro.

things would probally be so much differntly if we didnt have mutual friends that fell in love....and when they were off to college....my asshole friend was always calling me telling me 'this guy is in her room...they are doing this' ect. ect. that drove me literally fucking crazy....we duked it out one night about 2 yrs. later....so that felt dammmn good...

but anyway.....ya know its hard talking to people...wait..its hard to find somebody to talk to on your page....the last thing i want to do, which is all around me..is spill my feelings to a bro, and all i get is negative feedback..i dont want to hear that shit hahah...

but anyway....relationships are just one big game..its weird isn't it ...its all about taking balzy chances, and moves....... i guess thats what makes life interesting

 

[bigbuffstaples]

things would probally be so much differntly if we didnt have mutual friends that fell in love....and when they were off to college....my asshole friend was always calling me telling me 'this guy is in her room...they are doing this' ect. ect. that drove me literally fucking crazy....we duked it out one night about 2 yrs. later....so that felt dammmn good...

but anyway.....ya know its hard talking to people...wait..its hard to find somebody to talk to on your page....the last thing i want to do, which is all around me..is spill my feelings to a bro, and all i get is negative feedback..i dont want to hear that shit hahah...

but anyway....relationships are just one big game..its weird isn't it ...its all about taking balzy chances, and moves....... i guess thats what makes life interesting

yeah man..... i was gonna reply to this a while ago but i got busy... lost my train of thought... and yeah it is hard to find somebody on your page to talk to... there's usually someone close but not right on the money,,, you seem pretty close to how i'm feeling,,, it does suck thinking too much man,,, it's hard not to though, especially when your mind starts wandering and you can't stop it.... but things will be good soon,,, just think about it, you'll be done your school and doing the job you want (at least for now what you want) and you'll be away from her, then you'll meet some nice lookin girl who's got your interests and shit will be good.