CHIP WADOWSKI
New member
WHEN INJECTING YOUR MEDICATIONS....
GO SLOW! It's not a race. First off, for the new guys that will read this thread, ITS COMPLETELY NORMAL to be nervous as HELL.
If you are just beginning a therapy protocol and have never self-injected, you will experience a rash of different emotions leading up to "the big moment". You will be excited, nervous, scared, apprehensive, happy, and possibly even feel guilty. Yes, its true. It all depends on how you were brought up, your views as an athlete, or possibly the constant brainwashing that we all get from the FUCKBASKETS that ESPN hires to ruin pro athletes careers as they get their "formal steroid education" form their fucking teleprompter!
Prior to actually poking yourself for the first time, you will, most likely, stand in front of the mirror trying to decide which ass cheek is going to hurt the least to inject. You will probably start to break a cold sweat on your brow, and maybe even get a little sick to your stomach. This is all normal. You will get to the point that you are finally tired of the 30 minutes that you have just wasted and at that point probably feel like a complete pussy!
Now comes the moment of truth. You have already used a cotton ball soaked in rubbing alcohol or an alcohol swab to clean the site... You zero in on the exact spot that you are going to inject.... You turn your body (lets say you are going to inject the left hip) sideways, left hip facing the mirror, you look at your waist and visually draw a line about two inches back and two inches down, and hold the needle between your thumb and your forefinger. WITH ONE SWIFT, QUICK, NONSTOP MOTION, you bury the needle, all the way to the syringe, into your hip/ass.....
....
WAIT.... THAT'S IT....? IT DIDNT HURT AT ALL?.... ALL THAT HYPE FOR THAT???? YEP. THE HARD PART IS OVER. Now, for the SMART part....
While keeping the weight off your left leg, make sure to aspirate (while keeping the needle securely placed into the muscle, gently pull the plunger back about 1/4 ml on the syringe and make sure that no blood draws into the syringe). Once you see that no blood is present, you will SLOWLY begin to push on the plunger and gently force the medication through the needle and into the muscle.
WHEN I INJECT, I ALWAYS BE SURE TO TAKE AT LEAST 45-60 SECONDS PER ML OF MEDICATION IF IT IS OIL BASED. WITH AQUEOUS BASED MEDICATIONS, I CUT THAT IN HALF. If you want to avoid lumps, knots, or injection site pain, PLEASE GO SLOW. After you have finally pushed the last bit of medication out of the syringe, just as swiftly as you thrusted the needle INTO your skin, you will quickly and swiftly remove the needle. ALMOST DONE....
When the needle fully exits your skin, the injection site may yield a bit of blood, or possibly even ooze a little bit of the oil that you just injected. This is ok and in most cases, NORMAL. You will, once again, clean the injection site with rubbing alcohol. To be as sure that the medication is dispersed into the muscle properly, you give yourself a bit of a "deep tissue" massage with your thumb or your knuckle for about 30 seconds. YOU ARE DONE.
NOW PULL YOUR FUCKING PANTS UP.
UNLESS YOU'RE LIKE ME AND GET A
WHILE YOU ARE INJECTING...
GO SLOW! It's not a race. First off, for the new guys that will read this thread, ITS COMPLETELY NORMAL to be nervous as HELL.
If you are just beginning a therapy protocol and have never self-injected, you will experience a rash of different emotions leading up to "the big moment". You will be excited, nervous, scared, apprehensive, happy, and possibly even feel guilty. Yes, its true. It all depends on how you were brought up, your views as an athlete, or possibly the constant brainwashing that we all get from the FUCKBASKETS that ESPN hires to ruin pro athletes careers as they get their "formal steroid education" form their fucking teleprompter!
Prior to actually poking yourself for the first time, you will, most likely, stand in front of the mirror trying to decide which ass cheek is going to hurt the least to inject. You will probably start to break a cold sweat on your brow, and maybe even get a little sick to your stomach. This is all normal. You will get to the point that you are finally tired of the 30 minutes that you have just wasted and at that point probably feel like a complete pussy!
Now comes the moment of truth. You have already used a cotton ball soaked in rubbing alcohol or an alcohol swab to clean the site... You zero in on the exact spot that you are going to inject.... You turn your body (lets say you are going to inject the left hip) sideways, left hip facing the mirror, you look at your waist and visually draw a line about two inches back and two inches down, and hold the needle between your thumb and your forefinger. WITH ONE SWIFT, QUICK, NONSTOP MOTION, you bury the needle, all the way to the syringe, into your hip/ass.....
....WAIT.... THAT'S IT....? IT DIDNT HURT AT ALL?.... ALL THAT HYPE FOR THAT???? YEP. THE HARD PART IS OVER. Now, for the SMART part....
While keeping the weight off your left leg, make sure to aspirate (while keeping the needle securely placed into the muscle, gently pull the plunger back about 1/4 ml on the syringe and make sure that no blood draws into the syringe). Once you see that no blood is present, you will SLOWLY begin to push on the plunger and gently force the medication through the needle and into the muscle.
WHEN I INJECT, I ALWAYS BE SURE TO TAKE AT LEAST 45-60 SECONDS PER ML OF MEDICATION IF IT IS OIL BASED. WITH AQUEOUS BASED MEDICATIONS, I CUT THAT IN HALF. If you want to avoid lumps, knots, or injection site pain, PLEASE GO SLOW. After you have finally pushed the last bit of medication out of the syringe, just as swiftly as you thrusted the needle INTO your skin, you will quickly and swiftly remove the needle. ALMOST DONE....
When the needle fully exits your skin, the injection site may yield a bit of blood, or possibly even ooze a little bit of the oil that you just injected. This is ok and in most cases, NORMAL. You will, once again, clean the injection site with rubbing alcohol. To be as sure that the medication is dispersed into the muscle properly, you give yourself a bit of a "deep tissue" massage with your thumb or your knuckle for about 30 seconds. YOU ARE DONE.
NOW PULL YOUR FUCKING PANTS UP.
UNLESS YOU'RE LIKE ME AND GET A
WHILE YOU ARE INJECTING... 
The sore calf wasn't from the injection, it was due to you forgetting to tape your trunk to your leg during that basketball game and the head of your meat rope kept bouncing off your leg causing massive bruising. At least be honest, 3J!!!