Hey everyone, I've been reading on here for quite a while but never posted. This post is gonna be long so I apologize in advance. I've tried searching everywhere but haven't been able to find anyone else with the same problem as me. I have literally no idea what I'm doing, but like my mom always says, f*ck it.
I am 20 years old. I know I'm too young to be on test e blah blah blah. I am willing to accept the consequences of possibly being fucked up for the rest of my life if it means I get to have big muscles. I've been lifting for 6 years and I am the definition of Ectomorph. I am 5'11, 200 lbs, about 12% body fat (according to my gym's handheld electrode body fat thing). I have been eating 4000 calories daily (220g protein, 110g fat, 400 carb; 6 meals daily spaced 2 hours apart each) for about a year, despite a small two month cut where I dropped to 190 but saw no visible difference. About 8 months ago I hit 200 lbs. I've been trying to gain more since, but I haven't gained a single pound. Everyone says I'm not eating enough, but then I tell them my diet. I eat up until the point of my eyes popping out. Then they say I must not be sleeping, but I get 8-9 hours every night. So then my training gets criticized, but I lift heavy until I'm drenched in sweat and at the point of puking. I change it up enough so that I never do the same workout twice.
Getting to the point, I finally said f*ck it and ordered some gear from naps.
I've been on test e for 10 weeks and have yet to see results. I've heard of it taking up to 8 weeks to start, but never 10. I did a 6 week dbol kickstart and gained a couple lbs of water weight, but that has since vanished along with the extra couple reps I got from it as well.
Now not only have I not gained anything, I've been getting WEAKER. My bench has gone down 20 lbs, my squat has pretty much stayed the same, but my deadlift has been devastated more than I would like to admit.
Naturally, I assumed the gear was fake. So I got my blood work done, liver toxicity is up a hair and free test is over 1500 ng/dL. My doctor said it's likely twice that amount.
I started out taking 500mg/week, but I kicked it to 750 by week 6 when I saw nothing. Still nothing. I've also been taking milk thistle to try to keep my liver in check and .5mg eod of arimidex to handle estrogen. I get weaker with every workout and every passing week, still staying 200lbs and bodyfat only getting higher.
The only logical conclusion I am left with is that I may have reached my genetic limit. I have read that an over abundance of myostatin may be the cause of my problems. In which case, I've reached my maximum potential at 20 years old, which is highly unlikely.
So that's why I've come to you guys here on this forum. Please help me figure out what's wrong with me. Again, sorry for the long post, but I wanted all the info to be there.
I am 20 years old. I know I'm too young to be on test e blah blah blah. I am willing to accept the consequences of possibly being fucked up for the rest of my life if it means I get to have big muscles. I've been lifting for 6 years and I am the definition of Ectomorph. I am 5'11, 200 lbs, about 12% body fat (according to my gym's handheld electrode body fat thing). I have been eating 4000 calories daily (220g protein, 110g fat, 400 carb; 6 meals daily spaced 2 hours apart each) for about a year, despite a small two month cut where I dropped to 190 but saw no visible difference. About 8 months ago I hit 200 lbs. I've been trying to gain more since, but I haven't gained a single pound. Everyone says I'm not eating enough, but then I tell them my diet. I eat up until the point of my eyes popping out. Then they say I must not be sleeping, but I get 8-9 hours every night. So then my training gets criticized, but I lift heavy until I'm drenched in sweat and at the point of puking. I change it up enough so that I never do the same workout twice.
Getting to the point, I finally said f*ck it and ordered some gear from naps.
I've been on test e for 10 weeks and have yet to see results. I've heard of it taking up to 8 weeks to start, but never 10. I did a 6 week dbol kickstart and gained a couple lbs of water weight, but that has since vanished along with the extra couple reps I got from it as well.
Now not only have I not gained anything, I've been getting WEAKER. My bench has gone down 20 lbs, my squat has pretty much stayed the same, but my deadlift has been devastated more than I would like to admit.
Naturally, I assumed the gear was fake. So I got my blood work done, liver toxicity is up a hair and free test is over 1500 ng/dL. My doctor said it's likely twice that amount.
I started out taking 500mg/week, but I kicked it to 750 by week 6 when I saw nothing. Still nothing. I've also been taking milk thistle to try to keep my liver in check and .5mg eod of arimidex to handle estrogen. I get weaker with every workout and every passing week, still staying 200lbs and bodyfat only getting higher.
The only logical conclusion I am left with is that I may have reached my genetic limit. I have read that an over abundance of myostatin may be the cause of my problems. In which case, I've reached my maximum potential at 20 years old, which is highly unlikely.
So that's why I've come to you guys here on this forum. Please help me figure out what's wrong with me. Again, sorry for the long post, but I wanted all the info to be there.