You know man, I've had the exact same issue my entire life. I never really understood the morning issue but I had so many experiences where I was going to town with a girl for over an hour in the morning that I just quit having morning sex. Even if I want it and she wants it, I know it's a serious commitment. Here's a few ideas just for you to think about, although I'm not saying any of them are the real cause. When you sleep, particularly in REM sleep, chemicals are released into the body that result in muscular paralysis. While this is happening, your brain activity sky rockets. This is when most hormones are released in our sleep as well. When waking up, most of the time these chemicals take some time to get out of your blood stream and I could see how this might affect erections. Another thing, I know for me in the morning, I am typically super thirsty and hungry, have to piss, have bad breath, etc. With all of those things, it's hard for me to focus on sex and enjoy it.
As for the being able to get off quickly to porn and not so quickly with sex - you're probably having the same issue as profboy...you're masturbating in a fashion that can't be replicated during actual sex. The best option is to cut out porn and masturbating all together. This shouldn't be too hard for you because your wife is there and she's always seemed pretty cool, you won't be deprived for long at all. Next, if you do masturbate, try to make is as much as sex as possible. If you cut out masturbation though, you should become much more sensitive during sex, making finishing come much easier.
Also, talk to the wife. Maybe once she finishes, have her take care of you in other ways so you don't have to worry about the whole drying up and hurting thing. I have the same issue with my girl...she finishes quickly and then things start to get dry and hurt, then I feel bad, can't focus on my mission and it takes even longer. Last thing - what do you think about when you masturbate and can finish quickly? You don't have to say it here but think about it. There are typically a handful of things that we think about while we masturbate which make us finish quickly and this becomes kind of habitual and almost triggers for orgasms. Try to think about the same things in bed. I know it's not the best idea to think about other things while you're with another person but it's temporary. What you're trying to do here is transfer the effects of whatever you are imagining while you masturbate to your wife. So ideally, you're having sex with the wife, think about your triggers, finish quickly although it was with your wife. Hopefully after doing this a few times this transfers over to your wife, meaning that she is the trigger to make you finish quickly. It works man, I promise.
