Post your funny bedroom story.

[Mr. Humdiddly]

With all these bedroom stories going round figured I might as well start a thread for it. Since Anthony was such a good sport guess I will share an embarrassing episode to.

One nighter. Things were getting hot and I decided to sweep the covers of the bed and throw her down.

Yeah did not quite work out that way. Her cat was in the covers jumps up and claws little Humdiddly. Ouch bad right? It gets worse.

I start swearing and yelling and bleeding. Her dog must have thought I was attacking her so CHOMP got bit on the thigh.

Wait it gets worse. When I go to the ER they call the cops because they think I was trying to perform bestiality.

I told the cops my story. One of them just started laughing the other one was just like "Be more careful with your genitalia sir."

Worse night of my life.

Still not sure how that cat got it in one hit though. My dick is so small I need a pair of tweezers to jerk off.

 

[TonySuicideKing]

LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! dude.... no joke i tip my hat off to you sir... you have claimed the right of King OF Bedroom Story hahahahhahaha!!!!! i think i have to "TRY" and attempt to top that

 

[Mr. Humdiddly]

LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! dude.... no joke i tip my hat off to you sir... you have claimed the right of King OF Bedroom Story hahahahhahaha!!!!! i think i have to "TRY" and attempt to top that

Yeah most people get a good laugh out of that one. I break out in a flop sweat every time I am in the same room as a cat though.

 

[Mr P]

hahaha! ... that is the funniest bedroom story Ive heard.

 

[cyto33]

i was living at my cuzin place years ago. i went to the bowling ally and met this chick. we screwed around and i left.
well a few hours later she showed up at the house. she asked around to find out who i was and where i lived.
well we started to fool around again and my budy showed up but that never stopped us what did stop us tho is when the cuzin wife came home and saw me licking her nipples. well that was it.
i just started to have a few more drinks and pass out.
i did just that.
i was woken up by the cuzins wife and said hey at least you can do is lay with Sherrie. i grunted an crawled into bed with her.
it was less then a second and she was playing the skin flute and i was ready for it.
i went ti rip her pants off and she stopped me. wait i'm..... bleeding.
what ever i dont care pull the plug and get back here. so away she went and came back.
i had no problem going down on her. and the flow wasn't heavy at all.
she road me for a bit and i turn her over and got on top. we finished of like that.
and i just passed out again.
we woke up the next day and my budy was looking for his jacket so he could leave.
it just so happen that was underneath us last night as we had been screwing.
he fired the jacket on and the back of it was covered in blood.
i mean like to hands side by side worth of the stain.

 

[TommyTrainR]

these are some good ass stories.. i have quite a few but ill start off with one for now.

i was at this party a couple years back. small apartment, not much room to move. we're all young and whatnot so drinking like fish. standard party. i drink a lot and pass out in a bed. to make a long story short, i wake up in the middle of the night and find this HUGE mexican chick..big im tellin ya..BIG. picture a spanish speakin free willy with glasses. that was her. anyway, i wake up and im still out of it but have some sense back. i look down towards my feet and see my pants pulled down. "wtf?" i start thinking. i see my junk hanging out looking all glossy and purple. i look to the right a little and its fuckin jelly. smuckers jelly. grape. one of those squeeze bottles. this bitch, while i was sleeping, PULLED down my pants and covered my dick in smuckers grape jelly. OH and to top it off, she had handcuffs on my one wrist. not cuffed to anything but it was on my wrist. i was like WTF?!?!?! i got up, wiped my grape flavored dick on the sheets and got out ASAP..with the handcuffs on my one wrist.

shit was out of control. anyhow, thats one story.

 

[Mr. Humdiddly]

these are some good ass stories.. i have quite a few but ill start off with one for now.

i was at this party a couple years back. small apartment, not much room to move. we're all young and whatnot so drinking like fish. standard party. i drink a lot and pass out in a bed. to make a long story short, i wake up in the middle of the night and find this HUGE mexican chick..big im tellin ya..BIG. picture a spanish speakin free willy with glasses. that was her. anyway, i wake up and im still out of it but have some sense back. i look down towards my feet and see my pants pulled down. "wtf?" i start thinking. i see my junk hanging out looking all glossy and purple. i look to the right a little and its fuckin jelly. smuckers jelly. grape. one of those squeeze bottles. this bitch, while i was sleeping, PULLED down my pants and covered my dick in smuckers grape jelly. OH and to top it off, she had handcuffs on my one wrist. not cuffed to anything but it was on my wrist. i was like WTF?!?!?! i got up, wiped my grape flavored dick on the sheets and got out ASAP..with the handcuffs on my one wrist.

shit was out of control. anyhow, thats one story.

Funny after my incident I had to use a bottle of smuckers to masturbate...

 

[Jusselin]

Jelly story takes the cake, blood shit was just fucking gross dude lol!

 

[superset1231]

I don't have any cool bedroom stories

 

[Jusselin]

I don't have any cool bedroom stories

dont feel bad neither do i lol, the only thing that comes close is when my wife and i were having sex in her parents house (staying with them for thanksgiving) i finally talked her in to trying anal, things are going good, she is enjoying it, but one thrust too much and she screams bloody murder...then my father in law busts in the door to see if shes ok only to see my cock in her ass....talk about freaking wierd...we forgot to lock the door. Thanksgiving wasnt very pleasent this year lmao.

 

[superset1231]

Lol that's the funniest thing ever. I wonder what was going through the dads head when seeing his daughter getting anal penetrated.

 

[drewbolic]

I have a good one....

I was in Vagas for the SuperBowl 03
Pats & pathers.
So there is a lot to this story but ill condense it.
I was doing a bit of drinking and I think it was 20+ straight hrs at this time...you know how Vagas is when your 23 lol so I winning at 3 card poker and was up some 1200 bucks and it was 8:30am in the morning before I stuble away fast forward 10+ hrs. still drinking I go to this club called beaches.
well at the club the bar tender happens to be from MA and we start playing the name game and we end up knowing a person in common-bang free drinks....starting to see a pattern lol
So the lights come on and the club host comes on stage and explains they want a guy and a girl to sing the OSCAR MYER wiener song and if they do it correct the woman get to drink for free for 10 mins.If the guy does it right the men get to drink for free for 10 mins.
So they pick this beautiful blond from UNH and they pick some Mexican kid.Well the mexican dude chickens out and when I hear that my drunk ass makes some noise.
Now Im up on stage they tell me the rules agai n and the girl go's first...my bologna has a first name oscer blah blah blah
Alls I have to do is repeat what she just said FAIL! I stumble and mumble but the dude says sense I was a good sport alls I have to do is kiss her foot and all the dudes in the club can drink for free and there is prolly 700 dudes in this huge club.
Well I do it and the red lights start flashing and they form tequella lines and they whole club is jumping,ppl are buying me drinks and Im hooking up with the blond i was up on stage with>>>>>fast forward I leave the club with this chick we go to my hotel....I get through the door and rip all my cloths off...its on like pop conn...and we start making out fooling around we are both out are minds drunk and I have to take a piss...I get up off the bed walk to the bathroom swing the door open with my prick in my hand door shuts behind me I start pissing....I open one eye Im in the hallway of the Riviera hotel locked out my room at 4am.....yup ass naked locked out and she passed out and cant hear me banging on the door as I am passing in and out thinking WTF.....
Finally I cup my junk walk to the elevator push the button and take the oddest elevator ride ever.Doors open up and its just as they say Vagas never sleeps.....I walk through half the casino and the consier looks at me while the other one gets me a towel,i give them my social security# and told me to go to bed

 

[MGunz]

lmao! that's out of control drew, I got some funny ones but not quite like that haha

 

[Jusselin]

Lol that's the funniest thing ever. I wonder what was going through the dads head when seeing his daughter getting anal penetrated.

his eyes said it all lol

 

[Mr. Humdiddly]

Sigh I have a really good one but, if I post it Steph will probably kill me. Unless she doesn't find out... So here goes.

I am fooling around with Steph at my house and we ended up on a media chair in my den making a video. Somehow she pushes the release button and she flips over the top of the chair and smashes her head into a vase and ends up needing 6 stitches. At the time I was worried but, after we watched the tape and even she was laughing her ass off. Funniest thing ever especially in slow motion.

 

[Jusselin]

video or it didnt happen lol

 

[Mr. Humdiddly]

video or it didnt happen lol

Lol sorry no can do. If it was just some chick for a one night stand then sure. Can't do that to Steph though, besides I don't want you all to see how small my dick is.

 

[Jusselin]

haha just yanking your chain!













































































not in a gay way or anything......

 

[LANDSCAPE1]

I read this the other day...didn't really think I had anything to contribute. Then I remebered, that I had one that kinda stuck out for me... So basically Im at "my friends w benifits house".. She's a little older than I am(but not crusty at all.. she has two young teenage daughters, whom live there full time). So Its a friday night maybe 8:30pm and her girls were out w friends..were in here room .. We're both naked on top of ALL the covers/blankets. She's face-down(facing away from her bedroom door) and she's wearing nothing but highheels. Im flat on her back, going to town digging in/taking alllllll my frustrations out on her, When suddenly i hear the door fling open!.. Her oldest ran upstairs to tell her something, With us having monkey sex while her boyfriend was waiting in the drive way.. She slams the door and takes off running downstairs to leave again shouting "OMG! OMG! Ooooh Gross!.... so and so's fucking my mom!!!" lol...... We both felt like shit, but there we were all alone again.. so we finished
-Peace

 

[mig139]

i was living at my cuzin place years ago. i went to the bowling ally and met this chick. we screwed around and i left.
well a few hours later she showed up at the house. she asked around to find out who i was and where i lived.
well we started to fool around again and my budy showed up but that never stopped us what did stop us tho is when the cuzin wife came home and saw me licking her nipples. well that was it.
i just started to have a few more drinks and pass out.
i did just that.
i was woken up by the cuzins wife and said hey at least you can do is lay with Sherrie. i grunted an crawled into bed with her.
it was less then a second and she was playing the skin flute and i was ready for it.
i went ti rip her pants off and she stopped me. wait i'm..... bleeding.
what ever i dont care pull the plug and get back here. so away she went and came back.
i had no problem going down on her. and the flow wasn't heavy at all.
she road me for a bit and i turn her over and got on top. we finished of like that.
and i just passed out again.
we woke up the next day and my budy was looking for his jacket so he could leave.
it just so happen that was underneath us last night as we had been screwing.
he fired the jacket on and the back of it was covered in blood.
i mean like to hands side by side worth of the stain.

Well! If u can truck thru mud, u can fuck thru blood! Hahahahahahahaha!