The '15 Bronson Fuck off and Farewell Tour

[Charles Bronson]

servers here went down, lost my log.. try this again, lack of persistence is surely a sin


The '15 Bronson Fuck Off and Farewell Tour..


I've never really been interested in living to a ripe old age.

you ever look at a rickety old person, i mean like all shaky from dodging coffins..

those milky eyes staring out at a world they just don't recognize anymore -fucking OLD-

and thought to yourself ..

i can't WAIT to be that fucking guy!!!!

right.


I've treated my body like the fucking rental car it is.

when i get done, the ash tray will be full, the fucking gas tank will be empty - nobody would even want to sit in this motherfucker much less trust it enough to drive it anywhere

i boxed since i was 15 years old.

made a living at it, a life style i enjoyed anyway..

mind you I'm not bragging - i don't recommend that shit to anybody

way easier methods of earning a living that doesn't involve having your brains sloshed around in your fucking skull, that pay much much better

but i got some stories out of that shit, yea..

I'm going to be 43 this fall..

thats roughly 1,430 in boxing years.

retired not quite 2 years now, but im a trainer for a stable of fighters, and i still also makes the rounds as a sparring partner at a few diff gyms..

imagine that no matter how hard you push, how much you train..

you just slowly start losing ground in almost every physical aspect of your fucking game

getting old in this sport.. is a real motherfucker, not for the feint of heart

the only thing worse than beating up some kid i could have changed diapers on - is getting thumped by some kid i could have changed diapers on

time to hang that shit up, while I'm still banging it out respectably in the gyms with professionals

hard reality check that pisses me off, having to brawl with guys i would have dominated easily only a few years ago - now its blood and guts and trading headbutts in the middle of the mats just to hold my own..

so far so good, I've been able to out " not give a fuck " anybody in the gym.

old age and treachery always overcomes youth and skill

don't get me wrong, most of the guys i work with are good sportsmen , great kids , great athletes.

but there are couple peckerwoods i would love to turn the clock back on my body for - just to beat the hammered dog shit out of them.

be fun to watch these guys on tv a decade form now and say - hey! i knocked that fucker out in the gym, he made me grumpy!

to be honest.. right now I'm thankful for these assholes.

for unbeknownst to them- they have fucking inspired me to make a statement before i walk away from the one thing that has defined me my entire adult life..

i think if i am going to walk away from this sport, i want to leave everybody with something to talk about.

so I'm going to gear up for boxing one last time before hang up the gloves for good to grab iron full time..

I'm running a testosterone along with deca, which has been the standard for fighters since forever

and adding something thats an exciting new compound for me in this last charge, something that i think is just right for the task at hand..

EURO-PHARMACIES HALOTESTIN from PSL ( shameless plug!!! yeah bitches!!!)

no bloating? super gains in strength? improved atheletic performance? and aggression?

sign me the fuck up, lets have one last summer of fun.

''the Bronson fuck off and farewell tour of 2015''

I'm going to log everything , for shits and giggles say anything you want

blogging my experience with this cycle, especially the halotestin and everything that goes on in training, everything in and out of the gym

this is going to be interesting.. I'll tell it like it is, as it happens

if i get my ass handed to me, ill share - no fuckign lie

saying you never had a bad night and got lumped up when you box - is like saying you skate and never had a skint knee

oh , and bet your ass

when i pick off some kid with a bad attitude - you'll for sure hear about that shit

wish me luck, or troll away

whatever

this will be funsies

Bronson

 

[Charles Bronson]

the gear is here...

so..


gear is here..



gives me a purple war boner just looking at it...

yummmm




and hey look, its a fat kid! i blurbed out my face, but i look like a young george clooney.. just trust me, k?


thats a fine example of fat body, after like a bowl of fruit loops or something I'm pretty sure..

i lifted weights for a grand total of around 16 weeks during the off season in 14' winter/holiday months, put on almost 20 lbs without going over 15% bf.. (deca test tren and food! )

so if you think I'm not that big, its because I'm not, mmk?

i never trained to get big before last fall

and when i did, it was just for fucking funsies during the offseason.

all those extra muscles melted off me once i started boxing again, i just couldn't eat enough to keep that extra weight on

and it slowed me down terribly in sparring, those muscles soaked up O2 and blood sugar, squeezed out lactic acid.. and were pretty much over sized rims, chrome bumpers, and fuzzy dice on a fucking drag car - all just dead weight for fighting

when i retire from gym wars this fall.. going on a year long bulk

thus.. the farewell tour, this is it lads.. when this is done, I'm going hang the gloves and get swoll


right now its Fat Bronson, troll away you homo's !!!!

guessing around 15% body fat (?)

coming off a month long lay off due to an injury

no training, no dieting..

just laying up and letting my old Dane body patch itself the fuck back up

three workouts back into it without any issues..

I'm healthy, rested, and ready to fucking go..

who's run halo before?

any tips, ( your preferred dosages/ duration?) would be much appreciated

i like hearing about peoples first hand experiences over reading articles by nameless authors or dylan gemelli videos on youtube.

no hatin' just saying'

dylans a dream boat and you all fucking know it

any who!


I'm fucking stoked

gonna be fun

 

[Charles Bronson]

the brother darkness..

helping get this big haitian cruiser weight ready for his event..

the brother darkness!!!


popped in early to the gym..

the haitian kid is in there crushing pads with the old man ,
already has a heavy sweat going- he look like a fucking hershey bar all shiny and black as fuck..
greeted this young gentleman..

" the brother darkness! you ready lad?"

this million watt ivory white smile blazes at me from out of his giant black ass stop sign sized fucking head

" Mr Bronson! you bring your sunscreen in case tommy pulls the blinds and opens a window?"

"yeah, already had the wife put it on for me , thanks "

its really hard not to like this boy. i mean except for him being three shades darker than the vacuum of space - he could be my young son
this guy is a great kid - no bad blood at all , if one of us wobbled the other - we would back off and let him recover. ask him if he's ok, take a minute off the clock to check it out.. then go back to work if we are gtg. I'm there to help him get ready.. I'm the most expensive piece of training gear in the building.. lol


great guy bah blah blah.. yea, but he's talented and i have to be careful with this kid. 25 yrs old, and like mongoose..

warmed up slow with head movement and combinations in the mirrors, bouncing on my toes to bring my heart rate up steadily. can hear him popping shots off the mitts. sounds like someone shooting a .22 in this old warehouse, and thats when darkness just snaps a fucking jab

he is less than 20 minutes from being done with pads and bag work, I'm pushing hard to get warmed up and stretched out now. been three easy workouts since i came back, but haven't pushed into wide open on the throttle in over a month now. 12 feet away form me this kid is murdering shit, everything sharp and heavy with him turning his body on all his shots - he's that fucking fast and never once throws arm punches - puts his shoulders and hips, body into everything he's throwing. he's gifted..

suddenly i feel like i need to yawn..

i suppress that shit with the sheer will and determination of a... ahhhhh fuck it yaaaaawwwwwn!!!

I'm nice an relaxed. yep, i feel like..

taking a nap?

this is not good.


-------
1 & 2


first round starts. throwing jabs, he's using his speed to bounce in and out controlling the range. think roy jones jr when he was pound for pound best in the world - he can hit me from outside where he's sitting just out of my range, by making a slight stutter step in *pop* then slides back out with that twitchy foot and hand speed. neither one of us are smiling now, nobody is angry or has anything but respect for the other.. but here we are, trying to tear each others heads off. he's playing it safe using his physical attributes and athletic advantages to control things. I'm staying tight and measured, he will have to give up at least a look at something i can shoot at if he wants to try and rip me with anything. I'm making a couple bucks today, if I'm too easy they'll bring in someone else and i won't get my spot back.

he's snapped my head back a couple times threading his jab between my gloves.. when i tried to cut off the ring and push his back to the ropes, he steps behind my lead foot and pivots in behind me. he's way too fast for me to chase and pin to the ropes with his legs fresh, too fast for me to trade jabs from outside. I'm getting caught with 5 - 6 of these jabs a round, so far I've clocked his attempts at right hands - but if i stay at this range and keep doing this shit over and over.. hell catch me, matter of time.

ding. first 2 rounds are in the books, 8 still to go..

-----------------------------------------------------

3 - 6

he's rolling with his tempo now, becoming more accurate. landing about the same number of clean shots as before, but he's beating my own gloves into my face witht he ones I'm catching - he's strong...

his confidence is sky high and now I'm able to counter with body punches because he will commit to shots with more of his body weight.. so it goes like this, I'm catching hs jabs on my gloves, blocking hooks he loops with after jabbing.. every so often, mixing up me defense/ reactions - instead of catching his lefts on my gloves, I'm using head movement to get underneath his shots and I'm digging hard to his body.. he takes the first few really well, asserts himself as the man who will absorb those body punches from me in order to have position to follow up with combinations.

the exchanges have changed completely now with that. I'm trying really desperately to cancel out his speed, esp the jab, by digging to the body and throwing my punches as soon as he throws his - so we are both swinging at the same time. its ugly, and now we both have position to really start chopping at each other.. this is to his advantage, i counter his left with hard committed digs to the body which he has already contracted with me " fine hit my body, thats cool!" now I'm compromised and he has position and leverage to punish me with hooks and uppercuts for every hard dig i make at his ribs.

im beating on his ribs, he's taking them well. he's caught me with a couple hooks, but my chins in and you can pound on my hard ass head all day - honey badger don't care! he's barely missed me with a whistling uppercut. thats a fucking bad day in the mail and on its way, he will land one of those..

this exchange developed from the only safe and solid answer i really had for his speed , his lefts.. now its like I'm stuck playing black jack against the house - straight knowing I'm going to get shitty hands and lose to the dealer at his odds.

no real way around this right now. fuck. he chops in a uppercut, i saw it coming though and took it really well, didn't absorb too much damage..

wow!!! okk!!! yea!! that fucking left hook he put behind that uppercut caught me on the ear, fuck that hook landed rally good.

yeah, cheap buzz for me - thanks darkness! you fucker...

do i hear bagpipes now? i love bagpipes!!! pretty sure thats not bagpipes tho. shame.. i really love bagpipes!

i wasn't wobbled. but that was def a clean shot

-----------------------------------------------------------

7-10

hes sharp shooting, running the gambit from rounds 5 & 6.. forcing me to catch his lefts on my gloves, or slip then dig to his body.. i dig hard to his body trying to break him down and he's countering with two or three sharp punches , then stepping out. he's genetically gifted. he's smart. he's disciplined. i start pushing him with my shoulder to move him off his base and draw some of the power out of his counters, instead of setting down into the mat to brawl - he just chops those punches with more speed and spins out of there. he's not going to brawl. he's sharp and accurate, and already just naturally heavy handed.. he doesn't need to settle for a brawl with a slower faded puncher, he's dictating.. my inability to match his speed means he can just drum on me through these rounds.. I've caught a couple uppercuts in the chops now, blocking those hooks - thats not happening again, fuck those bagpipes, they aren't ven real bagpipes ok.. but god damn its too bad cause i really do like bagpipes..

closing out the session.. I'm not too tired, surprised I'm not gassed out.. so ok - I'm going to air it out the last couple rounds, like a runner who can see the finish line just sprinting to the end of the race.. be fine to collapse here in just a minute - go on and sprint it out lad!!

i cant do much with pepe lepeuw the haitian brother darkness , he's too fast and too technical to make mistakes i can take advantage of.. but i know the rounds are almost done and my old ass can still fucking hit hard. i start bombing his body with everything i can put on it.. he's taking them, i can hear him grunt when i knock on his ribs, but he is a tough kid. he's coming back sharp shooting with uppercuts then some really wild left hooks.. so there it is, don't let those hooks land and try to pick off those uppercuts on your glove instead of your face bronson.. the hook is what he's trying to punish me with, and I've shut it down since it started playing scotland the brave on repeat in my fucking right ear since the first half of our dance party..

i bang out a couple really good body shots on him.. those dug into him.. i can feel it shake his body, that time it felt like hitting a hot water bottle instead of a side of beef - i just rattled his innards around.. yeah those were good, his handler is yelling at him ha!!! perfect go ahead and distract him micky!!! he's saying theres less than a minute t go.. i push him into the ropes, maybe only the third or fourth time his backs touched them all night ( keep yelling instructions you old fart - he's listening! ) i put my head down like I'm digging to the body with a right hand.. he pulls his elbows in cause i hurt his belly alreadywth those big un's.. but instead of digging that right hand to the body like I've been found all night - as i sink into a crunch bending my knees and driving my shoulders forward by putting my head down - i push that right hand over the top and thread it right between his gloves. BONK, lay my shoulder into his chest and dig into ribs on the other side.. left hook to the liver. he's tired and breathing heavy, this last body shot feels like hitting a water balloon too, made a nasty fucking sound when i hit him. his body isn't absorbing these well.. he's really strong, and it felt like hitting a fucking bag full of rocks til we got up to the 8th round..

he ties me up in a clinch now, this handler really does this he is micky- is still yelling like its the 15th round in rocky I ( you got 10 seconds left punch your way out!!)

this kid bear hugs me so neither one of us can punch, and through his teeth and mouthpiece says..


" hell of a shot, that got in.. thank you sir"

"good job young man, you controlled everything ablest start to finish- you're a classy boxer son"



bell rings , we both sling off our head gear and spit out mouthpieces.

------------------------------------------------

i got hit with a few clean uppercuts, one really good left hook that rung my bell..

he landed maybe 3-5 jabs per round that were threaded through my guard or picking off my head movement when i tried to dig to the body, and snapping my head back. bloody nose. i have a perpetual bloody nose. used to it. slight shiner. I'm a pale face, used to those too..

i finally did wear his body out, but no time left to push that attack and bring it to bear for me. honestly, i was pretty much punched out and too tired to have pressed that attack much past the bell anyway.. the one over hand right i landed when i hustled him into the ropes..

that was a ko punch.. but so was his left hook earlier in the rounds..

with those two punches, the whole thing might have come down to who hit harder, who can take a better shot. like a head butting contest.

he landed his big punch first, over all start to finsih - kid ran a clinic. ill be up with him again either friday or monday, this time ill know my stamina is ok to push way harder, i can set up those overhand rights by being more aggressive with pressing the body attack harder/ pressing him harder with foot work to get his back on those ropes in spots here and there every round were in there.

very happy with how i did, only three easy training sessions in the last month, coming of the injury.. my stamina held out surprisingly well, the adjustments i make along with better stamina - ill be able to push him hard in a few more days time..

my timing improves, stamina and power really comes online with my supplements kicking in - ill be a new man


next week ill check timing and stamina and see if I'm back up to par. as soon as I am where I'm supposed to be - ill start running halo fuck yeah!!!

 

[Charles Bronson]

Farewell to The Brother Darkness..

Bronson Rises

versus

The Brother Darkness



feeling in this kids gym was a little different, just felt a little off.

both him and his trainers knowing this would be the last time they would ever see me in there

we had a minute or two of the usual banter..


'' so grandpa, what will you do for fun once you're all done here? ''

- ill spend more quality time with your wives and girlfriends when they get lonely because you assholes are in here every night pretending to be men

'' you wearing your 'depends' , we told Darkness to work your body til you take a seat tonight"

- that kid committing to working the body seems about as likely as you brushing those fucking jacked up teeth of yours, I'm not a dentist but I'm pretty sure those brown stubs of chalk you use for chewing applesauce and pudding aren't supposed to constantly " fizz" like that.

''So you're really done here after tonight then?"

yep..

-----


learned a few important things last time out with this kid.

- my stamina matches up well with his, my endurance was much better than i thought it would be after such a long layoff due to an injury. meaning i can match his punch output and activity levels without too much concern about being gassed and fatigued in front of a still fresh and game fighter

- he is well conditioned, but can wear him down and gut him within ten rounds if i bang away early and keep chopping. the one knockdown i have on this kid was from a body shot, our last encounter showed me that was no fluke. he's got a head like a fucking billy goat, some guys you just can't knock out, but put a dent in their liver and those guys with granite jaws will drop like anyone else

- his physical advantages are hand speed and ridiculously twitchy footwork / movement. i can nullify this shit, i have to stop making this a contest over who can slip and roll into superior position before launching attacks/ counter fighting.. just press the fight and keep punching. think of some of the great mexican style fighters - standing nearly straight up, always coming forward : chavez, barrera, morales

i am going to turn this into a god damn head butting contest, see how it flies..


rounds 1-3

we picked up like it as round 11 off of our last 10.. no tentative feeling out period, no building up tempo - he comes out hard trying to go back to controlling things with snapping a jab/ hard straight lefts. this time instead of head movement , i gloved up and put my head down into his shots.. stepping inside his range, feeling him popping leather on my gloves and the top of my head gear, i rip a hard right to his chest, then snake a left hook to the body around and behind his elbow .

oh yea!!! i just smoked some ribs

the right hand glanced off his forearm, but that left landed clean. very satisfying thump to that shot..

he dances away with two stutter steps, then wheels to his right .. instead of a measured stalking with trying to draw him into throwing leads i can counter, this time i press hard after him right away, closing the distance and cutting off the ring. this is a very dramatic departure from trying to outslick him and counter his youth and speed with experience - I'm showing a lot of aggression with this approach, letting everyone know - this isn't going to be a chess match - I'm gonna make you brawl, I'm gonna try to cave in that big black sandbag looking head of yours


his corner starts yammering instructions at 100 mph, advising and cautioning at the same fucking time..
there is no way that kid is picking up much from that barrage of horseshit ( god i hate corners that bark like auctioneers; talk faster than a puerto rican woman working up to an orgasm ) what has me really encouraged isn't just the sheer volume of " wisdom" coming out of that guys yapper, it is the departure from the usual monotone in speech patterns, the rise and dipped in pitch - his handler is excited/ worried about what he is seeing.. and we are only getting started

he is landing his jab and straight lefts at around the same rate/ percentage as he did last week - which i knew he would.. I'm actually impressed with myself that he isn't landing MORE , with me being constantly available as a target always barreling in after him.

in the second and third rounds he starts really "reaching" with his shots, trying to pick me off from way outside, to dance away before i can dig in and counter. it only works sporadically, but when i do catch him - he is on his toes and bouncing, those shots do a lot of damage when you don't have your feet under you to use leverage and weight to help absorb impacts. he abandons trying to snipe me from outside pretty quickly. wise decision.

rounds 4-7

things have changed.. to start round 4 he has begun to set down sporadically and break off flurries.. he is trying to put some serious leather on me to slow my advance and keep me from pressing him so hotly. he's landed a couple hard rights, shown that wicked left hook over and over. yeah he's trying to get a knock down, which is a real possibility with the way I'm charging in after him. couple of those rights make my teeth shake, but I'm well guarded.. you can bounce shots off my head, if you don't hit me on the button on the chin/jaw - i don't go away.
him sitting down and exchanging gives me the opportunities I've looked for and wanted, i still hit hard, power is the last thing to go on any fighter.. and I'm durable. so yay! by all means - lets trade headbutts in the middle of the ring darkness. i start chopping right hands over the top and doubling up ripping uppercuts off the left hook to the body. his hand speed takes over in a couple exchanges, edging me in output - but I've been accurate and consistent in what I've thrown, an overhand right makes his knees buckle. he pushes me back, i feel my back touching the ropes.. he digs hard with a right left to the body, that hurt. ouch. i chop a hard right uppercut fueled by adrenaline with a dash of desperation - that lands flush and stands him up, he slips the left hook i put behind it, but i grab his neck his my forearm and swing his big hershey bar looking ass into the ropes, i start pounding on his body, he slides along the ropes with his head down.. i can sense one good shot will drop this kid, and I'm looking for it.. over th bells and the whistling in my ears, i can hear his corner urging him.. " moooOOOOoove!"
he steps out behind my lead foot, dances out and is back on his bicycle, his speed and footwork have saved him from getting butchered. i feel i missed an opportunity to get a knock down or even end the night early, but i made my point. I've shut him down from testing my courage and resolve (mean old man +1)

we are both pretty punched out, intense rounds.. we settle in to some exchanges int he middle of the ring, both recuperating and coasting through the next couple rounds.. we hurt each other, this lull should mean the last couple rounds will pick back up. if one of use doesn't come back to 100% after this little respite.. the other man will step on him. its in the mail.. i know whats coming. funsies


rounds 8-10

were both tired. he's not moving as well, I'm not as busy when i get opportunities . ive started going over the top and head hunting with wide shots, partly because I've set up these shots all night going to the body so much, partly because I'm fucking tired and need to keep him intimidated and moving back. he's settle for snapping those long leads. two guys who have tested each other and found no soft spots. the last round will be fireworks.

tenth starts with his handlers slapping him and pouring water on his face before th round starts. here we go. he sits down in the middle of the ring and flurries for the opening exchange, i expected something like that. digging in and taking leather on my gloves, i abandon the body attack and go for short uppercuts and hooks. we bounce hard shots off of each others heads, its ugly. he's anxious /i don't give a fuck - repeat of the middle rounds and he elects to get back on his bicycle with his corner urging him to "moooOOOve!"

his jab and straight lefts are still sharp, testimony to how hard he works int he gym.. he's out pointing me with a jab, I'm back to putting my head down and trying to beat his guts in. he's softer now, those shots are hurting him. he's grunting and making faces. I've already got a headache form all the fucking jabs he's thrown.
bell rings, two years of helping this kid progress and grow as a fighter comes to an end with the sound of a buzzer.


"you're a tough old man"

"you're a talented kid.. stay dedicated and you'll go a long way"


can't help but think, id have put that kid away five years ago.. or in 5 more weeks when my gear is fully kicked in. he's a good boy, no need to wreck a good kid, put down young guy like that in training.. I'm saving my juice for the assholes i can't stand. this log will get more intense, more interesting here very shortly.. pussy and revenge, nothing better..


speaking of... my gear is just now kicking in, waking up with achey purple boners every morning. couple more weeks the deca will be online, and ill jump in with the halo and go to my happy place one more time before hanging up my gloves.

time for breakfast, knocking off some pussy before the kids wake up, and I'm ready to start my day

morning run was out fucking standing..

 

[Charles Bronson]

so.. just about all caught up here

next week , have a pair of talented middleweights both with events on the horizon..

one defending a belt, another undefeated

gear is coming online, going to wait for a sprained knee to finish healing before i jump on with the halo

this log will get more intense , once I'm all geared up..

ill start this last campaign, take that leap and make myself available for sparring with fighters from old gym rivalries/ bad blood..

it could get very interesting

B

 

[inhaus]

great stories, I love boxing. this is a pretty cool cycle log as most I've seen are just from people looking to build mass and yours is from more a performance/sports side which is awesome to see. I used to do a bit of it myself when I was 19 but never got very serious about it.

for some reason I picture you as the real life version of marv from sin city.

 

[Charles Bronson]

great stories, I love boxing. this is a pretty cool cycle log as most I've seen are just from people looking to build mass and yours is from more a performance/sports side which is awesome to see. I used to do a bit of it myself when I was 19 but never got very serious about it.

for some reason I picture you as the real life version of marv from sin city.

thanks for the comment brother.. really


not familiar with that character, gonna look it up.. i think 49'r posted a pic of that guy on another thread ha!!!

heres me all shined up after playing rough, check out cutie pie in the back seat photo bombing me

 

[inhaus]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AAEJedBQk7s

clip from the movie ^

can't see your pic in your last post tho?

 

[SilverBackGorilla]

We can say anything we want?

 

[Charles Bronson]

yeah.
well except for you.

fucking gorillas notorious for poor manners

 

[Charles Bronson]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AAEJedBQk7s

clip from the movie ^

can't see your pic in your last post tho?

how the fuck i miss that flick?

marv!!!!

 

[SilverBackGorilla]

I just wanted to tell you that your avi scares me and I don't like it. ;-)

 

[Charles Bronson]

I just wanted to tell you that your avi scares me and I don't like it. ;-)

ill change it soon.

sorry..

here


ill pick a few fleas off your back and eat them, we buds again?

 

[SilverBackGorilla]

We buds.

 

[Charles Bronson]

pair of solid middleweights coming up this week..

weds and friday. skipped training monday, and just a light run tonight..

one of these guys easily among the best fighters in this area.

this other kid is unreal fast. can make me look bad.. I've had to knock him out in the gym a couple times int he past already, cause fuck that..

good kid and all, i just get grumpy when people beat on me


both great kids, but we go hard. everybody is professional, its a job..

might be time to take an assbeating, especially if i get winded.

that happens ill come back once my gear is fully kicked in, wearing the halo..

if i can handle these two, now .. will mean I'm on top of my shit.

if thats the case, no excuse not to press forward


be time to halo up


see how it goes

 

[maurij1]

Best damn log yet, keep it going Bronson!! Having actually been in the ring the stories are a lot more visual for me, love the round by round break downs! You write like Marv talks in the movie....good shit, can't wait to read more!

 

[cybrsage]

I laughed so hard at this line:

except for him being except for him being three shades darker than the vacuum of space - he could be my young son - he could be my young son

 

[Charles Bronson]

I laughed so hard at this line:

seriously, the brother darkness is the blackest fucker i think I've ever seen

he looks like a hershey bar when he sweats lol

 

[49ER]

Yup I already named him Marv lol

 

[Charles Bronson]

tough night.

only man there is the talented kid defending his title in two weeks. his training partner with the freaky speed is out, he ko'd his partner in the gym and he had to be sent home for 30 days..

so thats why they're shelling out of pocket to have me come in.

I'm noticing something..

he isn't training, he's warming up shadow boxing and hitting mitts. he's walking through his warm up for the fight

so I'm not the last 45 minute of his workout. i am the workout

this isn't going to be easy. i get it.

8 rounds of thai boxing.

his man is a left hander, so I'm turning into a southpaw tonight too. i can fight southpaw, but thats like saying, yeah i can roller blade home from work tonight - it isn't any fucking fun, and you might get really embarrassed.

this is just getting better and better.

the handlers tape two shin pads together and then tape those onto my left leg..

his man likes to kick people on the arms/ body, so I'm not supposed to hold back and try to club him with my shin

i can do that..

this kid is german, looks like kurt cobain

if kurt cobain was notorious for shooting other people , and not himself - he would look exactly like this guy.

tough young man..


rounds 1-3

first round is a feeler

his movement is good, still much faster than me.. but not the freakish twitchy foot speed of brother darkness, he's still from planet earth and human.. i can touch this guy when i want to, without having to chase him down or wait on him to throw first.

hes throwing 3-5 punch combinations, light and easy but just ripping through clean sharp combos.

but he's got heavy hands, i know this guy. he's measuring me with those quick arm punches, gauging my reaction and watching for tells in my defense..

those light arm punches, they're not going to stay like that


second round he comes out like i got caught finger banging his sister on the couch

chopping away, he's ripping through combos and getting good body shots on me. i dig in with my elbows and pick off his punches, my counters inside are too slow i miss with an uppercut, overhand left is short - he's already moving out before i find my range. frustrating - this middleweight is like a tiger climbing on a dinosaur, I'm all big and slow to him.. he's a buttered up popcorn fart on a greased rail fucking kid is fast

im not going to box with him, he throws another body shot, i clinch and blast a knee into his stomach,try a second knee that he checks with his shin then he hooks a glove over my should and climbs me by the neck - answers with a slap knee on my short ribs, that fucking hurt. he tried to swing me into a slap knee again and i grab his elbows and pick him up , just throw him off of me. big slow, and " too strong for you to clinch with"

he has to abandon trying to box inside, i just manhandle him in the clinch. he stringing together combos and chopping at my legs now.. and I'm pushed into doing what they asked e to do.. every time he throw 2-3 punches and follows up with a kick, i swing that left kick to the body and beat on his arms with the roughly 45 feet of shin pads they had taped to my shin, feels like I'm kicking couch cushion - but the weight of my kicks are knocking him off balance.. I'm old and slow.. but i hit hard, k?



so in three rounds I've resorted to throwing the hammer down, just to stave off being abused.

hes gotten much better since last outing.. I've just gotten, umm older


rounds 4-6


he's able to do the things he wants, throwing combos and chopping my lead leg with his right kick ( I'm southpaw, remember)

im blasting his arms and body, have started playing a game where i try to lay my shin just under his elbows where i get to his body..

he draws his arms in deeper - then after abusing his wrist and forearms a few times - go high with my kick and try to kick him in the mouth.

so far, with all that extra shin padding , he's just walking through those kicks across his lower body. the ileac crest/ hip bones on this guy are as hard as his shins.. any thai boxer will have crazy hard hip bones, to match their shins - from being kicked there. I've dropped WKA and ISKA fighters when i was a kid - just kicking them on their fucking hips. they would grab their sides like they'd been shot and just crumple. kick boxers are adorable. thai boxing is the king.


oh yeah , brawling.. so he's not pulling his elbows in deeper and going to give me a target to shoot at over his gloves
so I'm going to tee off until he does, ignoring me only pisses me off.

im letting him run through his combos, I'm checking maybe every other kick he's trying to tag me with , he's landing really well..

but every time he does his thing, i kick the fuck out of this guys body.

in fact, about half way through the 6th round, the timing was freakishly perfect - and I'm pretty sure i kicked the polio vaccines out of his fucking ass.

NOW he's digging in his elbows AND bringing up his lead knee to check my body kicks.. well played mr bronson, this is the sound of my own fucking horn " toot, Mother McFucking toot"

things have changed. that "UuuuGhhSSSsshh" noise that came gushing out of his mouth and almost made him lose his mouth piece tells me , yeah. that shit got through, even with all the shin padding that had to hurt.

he's beat my lead leg almost to death.. has pinged me with perfectly timed right hands. already have a headache. nose busted and bleeding since the second round.. its a fucking fight.

rounds 7-8

i get corrected for switching to right handed/ orthodox and theoing punch combos.. i landed a really sweet left hook. fuck yea

oh sorry! I'm a southpaw tonight , oh yeah i forgot.

hes digging in his elbows now, finally. tough fucker. i know he's recovered from the body kick that folded him, but he's been sorted out. I'm all big and slow, yea. but I'm stronger than your all your 160-170 lb buddies.

seventh round, he's actually gotten BUSIER.. he's going for finishing strong. i love this kid.

really do. the closest thing i have to a protege

hes digging in with those elbows now.. really bracing for the kick to come on. I've hurt his arms now.

couple more of these, wax the fuck out of his forearms.. and let it fly!

i intentionally telegraphed my kick, he dug in - and i kicked over the top instead of the 45 degree right into his body.. i clipped the top of his gloves, and banged the 15 lbs of shin pads taped onto my leg off his fucking head gear.

KERfuckingCHUNK.

he lurches back, wobbles a stutter step , the stiffens up and looks at me...

" good one"

ok , i just kicked him in the fucking head, i know i have the equivalent of a couch cushion taped to my shin - but i mean i really landed a hard fucking kick to his fucking head.

- lurch wobble wobble-

" good one "

and hes plugged back in, chopping combos..



steams gone out of his shots, I'm checking his kicks now.. he's slowed down just enough , and I've had so many looks at what he's been throwing I'm checking his low kicks now, picking off his shots like clock work.. my shins are hard even through the padding, his kicks aren't packing any heat now. he's being careful about clashing bones with this old man so close to a fight.

i hung in there.

but GOD DAMAN what a tough fucking kid

i already mentioned it - that he has a billy goat head and is so fucking tough he's taken shots that dropped light heavy weights and cursers without much more than blinking..

but that shit was impressive. i felt like telling him - you are so going to win your fucking fight. you don't need to train, go home and eat some chocolate cake, fuck your girlfriend and ghet some sleep. you got this shit.. I'm done

instead, we banged out the last round maybe half speed, both tired and both knotted up..

i have bloused fucking eye, and a bloody nose.. he's got a concussion.

whatever, i probably have one too

bell rings..

kurt cobain slaps the glove touch with me..

" mann that was a good one - i knew you were gunning for it , and you just didn't throw it at all, i got so into what i was trying to do - you got it . good one"

so i told him what i had been thinking..

" you're going to win your fight, as long as they don't match you up with captain america or a fucking tyranosuarus rex - you can just murder anybody in your division without really having to worry if they can hurt you or not"

great kid.. since his sparring partner is done their asking me back friday and sunday, his last two days of sparring.

was honest with them. have to see how i feel, I'm not really sure how much damage i took tonight yet, don't know how healed/ not healed ill be friday

so play it by ear.

legs beat to fuck, have to see how sore i am friday morning..

did my best, he easily outpointed me. truthfully, if we aren't padded up and i chop those body kicks / high kicks.. he's gone, and i mean gone

but that wasn't the game we were playing tonight, he did exactly what he set out to do. credit where credits due- i took the beating tonight.

self esteem would ne about fuckin NIL if i hadn't wobbled his ass. still though, most impressive thing he did tonight was getting fucking stuka bombed and then just looking at me

" good one"


so yea, see how the leg is friday morning, id like to go back and take another chop at the lad.

Bronson

ps.

oh yea, on my way out he runs into the parking lot..

asked me to work his corner for the fight. i think I'm gonna go, huge show of respect to be asked to sit in. I'm flattered

almost like having a friend.