getting your girl into swinging

both my ex and I started talking about it...and talking about it...and then we decided to go to one of the clubs...looked around and talked to others and then bingo...

mainly talk frankly about it...and she has to be totally cool with her body and especially her self image...then it will be easier...but if she doesn't have these...then it'll be a no go...talk talk talk and make up fantasies if it takes you that way...
 
I had a girlfriend who was curious about a bi-experience and I wanted to see her with another man. Well, we got on the SLS site, but things never did work out.

My new girlfriend, when I told her what I wanted to do with the old one, she said, "Hmm, it might take me a while to warm up to that." Well that's all I needed to hear. Since then, we've had a few threesomes with another guy. Not done a swap with a couple yet, however. She's not sure how she'll feel about seeing me with another gal (as long as the other gal is cute, I don't mind! :rolleyes: ) At any rate, somehow and for some reason, I love seeing her take another man. It's great.
 
It depends totally on your girl. Some women are just too possessive or too insecure for something like that to work. Also, she has to trust you enough. I tell you, it took me a good five years to get my wife to accept that I'm not monogamous, so I could be honest with her about what I was doing rather than running around behind her back and lieing to her all the time.
Just introduce the idea to her slowly. I started first by making jokes about it, then eventually started making comments about a married couple we are friends with, asking her if she thought my friend was hot, talking about what would happen if we had them over some night and stuff happened, etc etc. It went on from there to the point where when I finally came out and said 'hey, I have to be honest with you...' she was open minded enough.
 
corteztk1982 said:
Ask GB



Id let a guy tag a girl with me, no prob with that
Click to expand...

did you enjoy watching your girl take him?

thats the difference here. its one thing to run a train on some bar slut but to get off on watching your girls vagina absorb some dudes prick is not for me.
 
corteztk1982 said:
Ask GB



Id let a guy tag a girl with me even if his cock slapped against mine a few times, no prob with that
Click to expand...

WTF?


No way I would ever be down with a another dude banging my g/f. I would say just about any physical contact between her and another male at any point is a free pass to drive him in the grill piece no questions asked. Even if its coping a feel in a bar as she walks by....fair game to break his jaw.

Another girl would be cool, but thats different from another guy. If you wanna plow chicks with another guy pick up a bar slut and tag team her. Not a chick that could potentially be your long term g/f or wife. If she gets the green light to fuck dudes in front of you what makes you think you have the super cock to stop her from fucking dudes behind your back? I say nay
 
that would open the door to a whole new set of problems IMO- like winch said, who's to define the rules of cheating after you've given her the ok to mess around? there's also the risk of your relationship becoming dependant on a third person; sex and/or communication starts to decline unless there's someone else involved. most couples aren't strong enough to deal with the trust issues that accompany swinging. unless you're rj and madine of course ;)
~MINX
 
strngthmnx said:
that would open the door to a whole new set of problems IMO- like winch said, who's to define the rules of cheating after you've given her the ok to mess around? there's also the risk of your relationship becoming dependant on a third person; sex and/or communication starts to decline unless there's someone else involved. most couples aren't strong enough to deal with the trust issues that accompany swinging. unless you're rj and madine of course ;)
~MINX
Click to expand...

haha, another board where we're the board 'swingers'. Thanks for calling me out DougE. lol

OK, i have had this convo a couple times on this board and others and mostly we get alot of what deadbeatrec says. Or a bunch of kids who have never even been laid, much less in a serious relationship.

Let me start by saying Madine and I are NOT swingers. Do we like to explore sexually? Certainly. Have we had experiences with other people? Sure. But we aren't swapping partners with other swingers and shit. We have gone there... ONCE. Bad move all around. For both of us. I will mirror what Lavee says in that if both of you, but especially the woman, aren't comfortable being naked around the other person, it will be a mess. Women are naturally more self conscious, and if your wife/GF isn't toattly comfortable, she will think you like her more. Same thing in a 3 way. You have to remember that the atention should be on her (wife/GF), and the other woman should know that as well.

What most don't understand is that most people who swing, whether they love each other or not, always end up in a relationship where the sex gets 'lost'. What I mean is, it becomes about notches in your belt as opposed to sexual experimentation and sensual enjoyment.

Now, on another note, Madine is a bisexual woman. This is another anomaly that most men AND women don't understand. Most of the women who end up in 3 ways with another girl and guy are just bi-curiuos. Mostly end up just doing it for two reasons.

1. Because their MAN wants them to and forces it on them.
2. They think it will be fun, but just end up lapping at the other woman like a dog who hasn't had any water in a week. or not at all. this is no fun for me.

For me, being involved with another woman in the bedroom with Madine and I is not about fucking some random chic. I get more excited watching her get off from a really hot woman fucking her brains out, or vice versa. And in return, Madine gets off on watching another woman get off on fucking me (cause she knows how good I am in bed. lol) To her its about her and the other woman just wearing me out in bed. Anything extra with me involved is just extra fun.

Hope this helps inked. And like Minx says, it will cause serious problems if there isn't FULL communication between the two of you. It can ruin your relationship. Be completely FRANK in your talks. Don't leave anything out. For example, one rule we have is no kissing the other person on the mouth. May sound dumb considering the situation, but it must be discussed. Nothing worse or more awkward than right in the middle of a 3 way with some random chic you find at a club, ger her home, both of you start fucking her, and she says "I want it in the ass NOW!!!" Well, what if you didn't discuss it, you think its cool and you go to banging this chics ass. What if your girl doesn't even let you bang her in the ass? What are you gonna do? "Uhhhh, honey, is it alright with you if I fuck Barbie Doll in the ass?" Talk about awkward. Think about shit like that and discuss it. And I don't mean you talk and she listens. lol Also, some people have a SAFE word. If you get to banging and something gets uncomfortable, you should call this word out. Remember you will never see these people again, so who cares if you grabs your shit and go. These are things that can help or hurt if you don't discuss them prior.

Hope this helps, sorry i missed this thread.
 
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