I am sure you guys are sick and tired of reading my threads. Last one.

[sadpanda]

I have been on gear since End of march 2013. I haven't come off and i have done two blasts in between.

I am only 21 year old.

Due the situations i was in loaded with stress, family problems, etc etc, gear was something i found myself very easily addicted to.

I didn't want to stop as i felt "too good"

This soon began to fade and i became self obsessed with my body, i bashed myself for not looking good enough, my hormones were completely out of balance and mentally killing me piece by piece. It started ruining my relationships, made me depressed, gave me a ton of anxiety.

but everytime i tried to stop, i was just pulled back into it.

After kind words from Halwit, Megatron, and my others, i told myself i was going to stop and PCT once deca clears my system (dec 19th) sadly due to the stupid friends i have and so on, i "binged" again and shot some more

scared to be flamed i stop using the forum and occasionally visited.


In this time, after talking to my girlfriend, a psychologist, and many others who love and care about me including my mother.

I got rid of all my gear with the exception of some Test (to low dose until deca clears my system) hcg, ai and pct.


My pct officially begins Jan 2nd.

I have no way of fucking up as i have no access to gear.




I just want to say, Thank you to everyone on this board for your help and advice. Wish me Luck, i will be posting bloods after my 6 week pct. Hopefully all is well and i recover. If i do not, atleast i can say i tried and then go seek medical help.


Thanks again everyone.

I hope you all have a great christmas!

ill see you guys on the other side!

~sadpanda

 

[DD55]

Good luck with it all sad panda. Hopefully you'll be happy panda soon.
Cheers buddy!

 

[sadpanda]

Good luck with it all sad panda. Hopefully you'll be happy panda soon.
Cheers buddy!

check out the new avatar

hehe

thanks buddy

 

[Megatron28]

Good luck Panda. Make sure you keep your distance from the people that may be a bad influence in your life to help you avoid future temptations.

 

[Fieldsy]

Think about your future dude, people don't remember you cause you were big. A lot of people try to find their identity in their image. That's not what life's about. Some day you'll have a wife, and kids. They won't care if you're big or not. Some people don't know priorities man. Being someone influential with character and a personality that will change someone's day is what I'm all about. Keep your head up. You got many dudes here on your side.

 

[BoBoy]

"ill see you guys on the other side" ......what does that mean Panda ? Dont do anything stupid , remember everything in this life is temporary and changeable , except death .

Give yourself time to get the androgens out of your system , you'll feel better . Talk to your doctor about a HPTA restart , using Clomid or/and HCG . Your young enough to bounce back from this ....~Bo

 

[sadpanda]

"ill see you guys on the other side" ......what does that mean Panda ? Dont do anything stupid , remember everything in this life is temporary and changeable , except death .

Give yourself time to get the androgens out of your system , you'll feel better . Talk to your doctor about a HPTA restart , using Clomid or/and HCG . Your young enough to bounce back from this ....~Bo

oh sorry i don't mean killing myself

i meant ill see you guys on the natural side

 

[Killinit1]

Good decision brother.... Juice can a nd does play with your emotions. When shit starts getting weird its time to come off and lay low. I hope all works out for ya =) Don't give up the gym lifestyle though. Stay active and healthy!!!

 

[MeatHead96]

Much respect for you brother. Good luck. I'm glad your doing whats best for you.

 

[KingBF]

I would start looking for a trt doc soon...

 

[Shredchem]

good luck brother

 

[Teutonic]

Dude your young.

So young your life has not even really got started as far as being your own MAN. PCT is no picnic but if you get ready and realize it is a phase you need to go through to try get back natty..it ll be fine.

Do your best to avoid anti depressants, alcohol, pot ANYTHING. Find solace in movement. Train but realize off gear your not gonna be the on gear guy. And it is just fine.

Revisit this later in life. But please do not be a lift only on gear type. The gym, the routine of going and the people there ( not the 21 year fucks who will say your light) are all there for their own reasons. I AM the most mental mo fo ever to be offered a mod slot here. If you knew 1/3 of my life you d be shocked.

You don t need a shrink or a FKN TRT DOC....yet. ( gd it guys, really ? He s a kid who crushed his natty. I ll bet your next green power bar he comes around )

Lets go slow. Get these blue holidays behind us. Do not go in any doc office while on chlomid..Avoid Hallmark stores as well.

Despair and depression are killers. Helplessness is useless. Anger is cool. Get mad, get up and out and go do anything that involves motor function cognitive reasoning but mainly exertion to some degree. If it s cold dress warm.

 

[soldier74]

Keep ur head up..stay strong!

 

[Hull Tech]

Panda, i don't know what gym your at, but I would suggest going to a place that is more flash then gas, if you get my drift. LA Fitness up here is a good one for that; not many AAS users are likely to go there and even less would be likely to talk about it.. Out of site, out of mind as it were.. I've had a few kids i've talked down from doing something stupid, only to see them go to a World or Powerhouse or some local gym pit and get sucked into it by easy access..

Good luck panda, as you can see there is support for you here if you need it.

 

[Mad- scientist]

Things will turn around. Honestly being off gear once everything clears your system is a relief. It gets old after a while. It is fun to cycle but some times towards the end of a cycle I just stop caring as much. Once you get big and muscular you realize it is not that big of a deal and that it might be fun for a while but it is not all it is made out to be. Realistically it is all just a mental thing. I mean why does any one really want to be big?

It is fun to lift weights and look good but I would say more than half the times people want to get big not really for the sake of getting big. But because they feel like it will solve problems in their life. Like people won't pick on them or that girls will find them attractive or people will respect them. But honestly in the end you won't find happiness in a great physique alone. It takes a lot of things to make somebody truly happy and the risk to reward ratio with steroids a lot of times is not worth it. In the beginning people don't get side effects as often and think steroids are awesome but the longer you do them the quicker you realize it all has a price at the end.

I think steroids are fun but realistically I feel like most the people on here who do them have ended up locking themselves into the life style and are on TRT or have their entire life structured around steroids. When I look at a lot of peoples individual stories about using steroids on here I feel like most of them if they know it or not wish they would have never touched them. I think a lot of people just try to find the good into a decision they made at a younger age and are now locked into for life. Be that as it may I personally have had a lot of fun with steroids but just as much despair from them to. I think you made a smart decision sad panda and I think getting help from your family and stuff was a smart idea. Good luck!