heres my story... i've posted this many times here but i'm glad to post it in threads like this so you dont make the same mistake i made..
in a month and a half i turn 23 years old (i think i'm the youngest guy here) and i'm pretty sure that basically for the rest of my life, i will have rely on injecting testosterone in order to function properly as a man.
SEPTEMBER 21, 2011: i've been reading about steroids since i was 16 years old but i knew that was way too young, so three months after my 18th birthday me and my gym buddy started a cycle-- 150mg EOD of testosterone propionate a week which equals 525mg of testosterone a week. me and my friend had both been training and eating right for 3 years consistently at that point, so we had a very solid base already.
i was the one in charge though. i was the one who did the years of research, i was the one who got the gear (and AI), i was the one who knew what pins to get and when where and how to pin, and my friend just followed what i said. pretty stupid of him now that i think about it.. you dont wanna be that guy.
we were on for 10 weeks and i remember i went from around 150 to 165 and barely at fat gain. we had no side effects... the only thing we experienced while on was a major boost in confidence, fucking our girlfriends like animals, insane pumps and training sessions, and feeling like our stomachs were just a black hole for food and can eat anything anytime anywhere.
then we figured well, if we just follow this "keep all your gains after a cycle" protocol, we will keep everything right? wrong.
we came off and i remember that with time i eventually lost everything within a month or two. how would that even make sense? if you inject test at 500mg a week, that results in about 4 or maybe even 5 times of what a 18-24 year old naturally produces. therefore, way your ENTIRE body works is different from every aspect.
when i came off i looked different and felt different and didnt feel well (mentally) for around a month or so. it really sucked. without any relation, around that time (or even before i came off actually) i got addicted to and stayed on oxycontin for around 6 months.
APRIL 11, 2012:i cleaned myself up completely on my own but i was really skinny and not happy with my life, so what did i do? jumped on another cycle! test and tren! then somewhere along that cycle for some reason i decided that this is so great i'm just gonna kinda not come off at all, ever... so i didnt.
DECEMBER 3, 2014: it finally hits me. what the fuck have i done? i've been on steroids for 2 and a half years without coming off. this is not for me anymore. so i decided to come off and try to recover my natural testosterone levels HCG, aromasin, and of course clomid and nolva. all together i was on that stuff for like 4-5 months total. (blasted HCG only for 4 weeks, then clomid and nolva and aromasin for the rest). days after i came off HCG and started clomid and nolva i was fucked up. so fucked up in the head. so depressed so anxious. no sex drive you name it.
long story short at the end of my great attempt, i got bloods every week for a month, and i was only able to recover natural testosterone levels of 450ng/dl on average (in the morning). sure, that falls in normal range but that is nowhere near optimal for a 21 year old. a healthy 21 year old should be AT LEAST 600ng/dl.
APRIL 2015: i wasnt the person i used to be, i dont look the way i used to look i dont feel the way i want to feel, and on top of that i have low testosterone levels and my confidence was low. these numbers are subjective but for me 450 was not enough. i was expecting this, so i accepted that i fucked myself up and that i just need testosterone. and again, now i'm just turning 23 and i rely on testosterone injections in order to function properly as a man.
needless to say i appreciate and love AAS, and if you know how to use them; great. but you need to understand that with this shit, its either you are ALL IN or not in at all. i still dont believe in cycling either because first of all there is no such thing as one cycle. you will want more. and second, i believe you are doing more arm to your body when you overpower it with so many hormones, take more hormones to get off those hormones... then let your natural hormones start playing again only to start the same cycle over again.
i have fully accepted my situation and i learned to live with it. for me, its not that big a deal. AAS is awesone and has done nothing but good for me. i know that what happened to me doesnt exactly happen to everyone, and i didnt think it would happen to me either but it did. so decide if this is the chance you wanna take cause again, you need to deicide whether you take the chance of committing for life or not committing at all.
would i choose to live like this if i didnt have to? no.
but would i go back in time and stop myself from ever using steroids? no.
