My ten year struggle with low T and not getting treatment.

[Snemannen]

Hi, I'm a 32 year old 'man' who has had low T since getting operated for testicular cancer at the age of 22. My first bloodwork 3 months post surgery showed a total T of 8,0 nmol/L and the highest I have ever been at post-op is 14,0.
Now, my latest bloodwork showed total T of 9,0 nmol/L and my Doc could also tell me that I'm sterile and that my pituary gland seems to be off as well, so I have secondary gonadism.
My symptoms are as following, severe depression on and off(mostly on), extreme social anxiety, sex drive on and off, can't grow a beard, got just enough facial hair to make a decent doughnut and that's it. Brainfog, racing thoughts all the time and big trouble making up my mind on anything. And I have also become suicidal at this point, since my problems have lead me to quite an unfulfilling life with very few human interactions, never finishing anything like school for example, which I'm enrolled in atm but have no hope of finishing this time around either.

Now on the flipside I have a relatively well trained body due to my love of working out, but it has become more and more of a chore and less and less frequent. When I had my first appointment with an endo at the age of 24 he took me seriously and admitted that my test levels definitely could have been higher, espcially my free T. All good, until he told me to take my shirt off and, boom, no, you don't need treatment. I also remember that the doc that checked my first bloodwork post-op even mentioned that they might have to put me on TRT and that is the closest I have ever come to getting it.

As of now I'm awaiting the results for my latest bloodwork taken 3 days ago, luckily my new doc took my previous test results which showed test levels at 9,0 total and a very low reading on free T as well, seriously, so he contacted an endo which simply refused putting me on TRT without even seeing me. He has contacted a second endo and I will get an appointment earliest at may/ june. This seems like a lifetime for me since I'm struggling just to stay alive to be honest and I'm thinking of taking the matters into my own hands before it's too late, all I wanna do is live but just can't manage it atm.

Must also mention that I have probably been on every AD's( anti-depressants) and a bunch of different cocktails of pills for every single scenario regarding mental issues and in the end all they do is make things worse. Have also self medicated with every single illegal drug that exists including heroine( only for 2 months), yeah, I fucking hate myself and my life. Going out in public is my worst fear now due to people calling me shit, talking smack behind my back thinking I can't hear them. It has gotten so bad now that I can't even look people in the eye without getting nervous, I just don't trust or have faith in the human race anymore, all due to experiences I have had since my troubles started post-op. To be perfectly honest I have public 'breakdowns' which only have lead to more people laughing at me. My life is living hell and I want to die, all these problems have just escalated over the years and at times I don't even feel like a man anymore.

Sorry for the lenghty post, but just had to get it all out there as it's clouding my mind all day long.

 

[Jimstigator]

You need to see a good Dr, immediately, not the turds who have let your quality of life drop to zero. I recommend Dr. Mariano out of Monterey, CA. Not only an expert in TRT/mens hormones, but also a psychiatrist. Else - check out the companies that hang around the forums, such as IMT, which also get great feedback.

My hormone issues weren't fixed until I finally snapped out of it and took matters in to my own hands. In my case, that meant flying across the country to see a Dr, but so be it. Save up some money, forget about insurance helping you, and go get your shit together with real help.

 

[Profion9k]

I believe you are danish. So am I.

I had similar symptoms when my body tried to recover from chemo, missing a testicle, and surgeries! I likewise went bazerk and backpacked like a retard after my chemo... Aka Zombie status

The stress, food, noice, and so on all contributed to my testosterone plumming towards the bottem end! Testosterone was measured to be at around 8-9nmol wich is the bare minimum. After being in Denmark for 1month my testosterone recovered towards 15nmol and but I had at this moment developed a form a delayed depressed due to the extreme retarded choices I did "which im glad I did"

I started on TRT "nebido" and the very first injection did help me recover faster, my testosterone levels went towards 25-30 and sometimes 40! Wich did raise my RBC.. Btw I grew like a mofo again "former trainer, teamtrainer persontrainer, athlete" before the cancer.

Being on TRT did make me feel great, but it also made me feel wierd! LH and FSH do have other functions then just getting your testosterone high! Being on nebido 3-4months shut down my libido and my testicle became a peanut " now idd say i was freaking ballless"

Anyways I was on for 8months and did a cold turkey stoppage, wich i do not regret! I had no crash, since the nebido is so slow that your own body can start to recover as the drug leaves the body! I believe i am at 10nmol~ at this moment, but i feel great, and i know ill feel better...

Im no doctor, nor am i a guru! But ive been through life, trt, roids, chemo, surgeries and so on! my advise for you would be to quit all medication, it´ll be a plummit!!! So you´ll have to stay strong. As it will take time for your own body to adjust hormones, serotonin, and everything that goes along with being human.. You see, its all about balance! And alot of medication might fix one thing, but shutdown alot of other stuff! Antidepressants might keep you in a zombie status saying everything is OK , or MEH... But life should be GREAT and BAD, UP and DOWN. Thats true joy!

AD ruined my motherslife and put her into being crazy and hospilatized, she also was close to taking her life! Shes been through war, losses, and alot more.. so she aint weak.. But these pills.... daym

I managed to get her off, and now she is happy once again! Drop me a PM if you have any questions.

 

[Profion9k]

FUCK me.
You had TC aswell............................................... im fuking blind

 

[THE-DET-OAK]

Man sorry to hear you definitely would benefit from TRT! Stay strong it will get better when you get on a program.

 

[Profion9k]

So many people develop testicular cancer, its horrible! The west has the highest numbers, and the rate has grown enormously resent years. I wonder if there is a connection with the boom of the fitness industry and the west. People can afford chem mixed supplements, drugs n crap that goes along this unhealthy fit-ness regime.

I was recording a youtube video and got approached by a man in the gym! He asked why and what I was recordig, and I told him right out the bag that I had, had testicular cancer. And he replied, oh we in the same boat... I lost both... At this point, just thinking about the chemo he always went through made me collapse..

 

[Snemannen]

You need to see a good Dr, immediately, not the turds who have let your quality of life drop to zero. I recommend Dr. Mariano out of Monterey, CA. Not only an expert in TRT/mens hormones, but also a psychiatrist. Else - check out the companies that hang around the forums, such as IMT, which also get great feedback.

My hormone issues weren't fixed until I finally snapped out of it and took matters in to my own hands. In my case, that meant flying across the country to see a Dr, but so be it. Save up some money, forget about insurance helping you, and go get your shit together with real help.

Unfortunately I don't live in the U.S, living in Scandinvia where TRT is a big no-no. If not I would definitely have done what you suggest.

 

[Snemannen]

I believe you are danish. So am I.

I had similar symptoms when my body tried to recover from chemo, missing a testicle, and surgeries! I likewise went bazerk and backpacked like a retard after my chemo... Aka Zombie status

The stress, food, noice, and so on all contributed to my testosterone plumming towards the bottem end! Testosterone was measured to be at around 8-9nmol wich is the bare minimum. After being in Denmark for 1month my testosterone recovered towards 15nmol and but I had at this moment developed a form a delayed depressed due to the extreme retarded choices I did "which im glad I did"

I started on TRT "nebido" and the very first injection did help me recover faster, my testosterone levels went towards 25-30 and sometimes 40! Wich did raise my RBC.. Btw I grew like a mofo again "former trainer, teamtrainer persontrainer, athlete" before the cancer.

Being on TRT did make me feel great, but it also made me feel wierd! LH and FSH do have other functions then just getting your testosterone high! Being on nebido 3-4months shut down my libido and my testicle became a peanut " now idd say i was freaking ballless"

Anyways I was on for 8months and did a cold turkey stoppage, wich i do not regret! I had no crash, since the nebido is so slow that your own body can start to recover as the drug leaves the body! I believe i am at 10nmol~ at this moment, but i feel great, and i know ill feel better...

Im no doctor, nor am i a guru! But ive been through life, trt, roids, chemo, surgeries and so on! my advise for you would be to quit all medication, it´ll be a plummit!!! So you´ll have to stay strong. As it will take time for your own body to adjust hormones, serotonin, and everything that goes along with being human.. You see, its all about balance! And alot of medication might fix one thing, but shutdown alot of other stuff! Antidepressants might keep you in a zombie status saying everything is OK , or MEH... But life should be GREAT and BAD, UP and DOWN. Thats true joy!

AD ruined my motherslife and put her into being crazy and hospilatized, she also was close to taking her life! Shes been through war, losses, and alot more.. so she aint weak.. But these pills.... daym

I managed to get her off, and now she is happy once again! Drop me a PM if you have any questions.

Good to hear you are doing well but must say that I have been living like this for over 10 years now and have tried everything to boost my test naturally, as dieting and training has saved me from becoming a total drug addict. Have had long periods where I haven't used any drugs as I really don't like them, they were just a means to an end in my angst ridden and depressed state.

Still, due to my long drug breaks, training and eating very well my TT has never been higher than 403, and I would call that a 'lucky' reading as I normally have been around 345 and my latest bloodwork came out at 259. Excited to see what my next reading will be, not expecting much to have changed though. Must admit that I'm hoping for a really low reading so that I at least can give TRT a try. I know for shure I haven't been myself post-op and it's been a long 10 years.

 

[Snemannen]

After reading even more and finding out I approx have the TT level ranging from a 60- 80 year old man I'm starting to get convinced that I need this form of treatment.

I mean, I got absolutely nothing to lose I'm sterile, got the beardgrowth of a 16 year old, almost always depressed and nervous to go out in public. Always tired and out of energy, and my lack of interest in both food and exercise lately isn't helping either.

I'm at my wits end, as said before all I want to do is live a ok life, not expecting everything to become fantastic or anything, just, ok and bearable. As of now not much is 'ok' in my life.

If I don't get the treatment I AM going to try it on my own, not giving up on myself just because an ignorant endo says no.

 

[Jimstigator]

Unfortunately I don't live in the U.S, living in Scandinvia where TRT is a big no-no. If not I would definitely have done what you suggest.

Sorry man! I missed that part. Good luck, just hang in there. TRT could be a life changer for you.

 

[Snemannen]

So, thought I would just update a lil bit.
After buying some 'pharmaceutical-grade' test-e from Iran(1ml ampules that I break off) I started injecting myself in the delts with approx 0,5ml e.4 day about 10 days ago. It has already done good regarding my anxiety, not to mention my libido, oh god I did not realize how much I've missed the feeling of knowing one is full of testosterone.
But not really wanting to go back to my old ways(on the criminal side of things) I got a phone appointment with a private Doc who specializes in fertility and hormones whom I talked to yesterday. It was quit the bizarre convo I must admit, with the Doc being quite a bit rough around the edges, to say the least.(rudest fucker I have ever talked to, but I had to stay calm and let him take total control as he for some reason had to state his superiority over me with calling me boy and such)
Well, after about 10 mins on the phone hearing me out on my bloodwork, and him stating after getting to know my total t(he said free t didn't mean anything at all...??) and my SHGB that I'm definitely hypogondal he is now sending me a script for test-gel which I'm now supposed to try out for the next couple of months and then report back to him.
My thought as of now is to take my, for the time being, last shot of test e today and start with the gel next week.Not having high hopes when it comes to the gel, and my goal is to get my hands on the 'holy'grail' for injecting in my country, which is Nebido.
I wan't to self administer the Nebido in the end so I can get my levels as stable as possible.

Wish me luck!

 

[Snemannen]

Anybody have any experience with test-gels? Did it help at all?

Also, the Doc said he didn't even take free-t into considertion when I mentioned it being low too. He also said test has nothing to do with beard growth, that it was all genetic? In my mind this can't be true, it most certainly has something to do with it doesn't it?

Starting to think I might have a not so good Doc on my hands? He is supposed to be leading the field when it comes to this in my country, any thoughts?

 

[halfwit]

Anybody have any experience with test-gels? Did it help at all?

Also, the Doc said he didn't even take free-t into considertion when I mentioned it being low too. He also said test has nothing to do with beard growth, that it was all genetic? In my mind this can't be true, it most certainly has something to do with it doesn't it?

Starting to think I might have a not so good Doc on my hands? He is supposed to be leading the field when it comes to this in my country, any thoughts?

Free testosterone does matter, but facial hair growth IS greatly determined by genetics. I too went a decade with low testosterone (120ng/dL), yet I have always been a hairy behemoth. There was shedding of hair, and strange patches that would fall out sometimes - but not growing a beard isn't really an accurate means to determine much.

I know of a few that do enjoy gels, but it's a very short list. Honestly, if I felt any condescension from a doctor (it's my number one peeve), I would put him in his place, fire him (he's YOUR employee), and find one that realizes how the relationship works.

There are MILLIONS of doctors in the world, and just like any professional group, there will be good ones, mediocre ones, and terrible ones. Keep looking, I'm sure you'll find one that not only understands hormones, but is actually pleasant.

My .02c

 

[Snemannen]

Free testosterone does matter, but facial hair growth IS greatly determined by genetics. I too went a decade with low testosterone (120ng/dL), yet I have always been a hairy behemoth. There was shedding of hair, and strange patches that would fall out sometimes - but not growing a beard isn't really an accurate means to determine much.

I know of a few that do enjoy gels, but it's a very short list. Honestly, if I felt any condescension from a doctor (it's my number one peeve), I would put him in his place, fire him (he's YOUR employee), and find one that realizes how the relationship works.

There are MILLIONS of doctors in the world, and just like any professional group, there will be good ones, mediocre ones, and terrible ones. Keep looking, I'm sure you'll find one that not only understands hormones, but is actually pleasant.

My .02c

Yeah, having serious doubts about the guy I must admit, especially taking in concideration how much he charges I've would have expected him to be more 'friendly' I guess.

It's a shame my original Doc is to afraid doing anything on his own, having me wait 6 months until I can see an endo, apart from that he is a top notch guy that really listens and if there is something he doesn't really know about he admits it and gets on the phone pronto, trying to find the answers.

Anyways, appreciate the response Now, I got some thinking to do.

 

[appleton111]

Hi, I'm a 32 year old 'man' who has had low T since getting operated for testicular cancer at the age of 22. My first bloodwork 3 months post surgery showed a total T of 8,0 nmol/L and the highest I have ever been at post-op is 14,0.
Now, my latest bloodwork showed total T of 9,0 nmol/L and my Doc could also tell me that I'm sterile and that my pituary gland seems to be off as well, so I have secondary gonadism.
My symptoms are as following, severe depression on and off(mostly on), extreme social anxiety, sex drive on and off, can't grow a beard, got just enough facial hair to make a decent doughnut and that's it. Brainfog, racing thoughts all the time and big trouble making up my mind on anything. And I have also become suicidal at this point, since my problems have lead me to quite an unfulfilling life with very few human interactions, never finishing anything like school for example, which I'm enrolled in atm but have no hope of finishing this time around either.

Now on the flipside I have a relatively well trained body due to my love of working out, but it has become more and more of a chore and less and less frequent. When I had my first appointment with an endo at the age of 24 he took me seriously and admitted that my test levels definitely could have been higher, espcially my free T. All good, until he told me to take my shirt off and, boom, no, you don't need treatment. I also remember that the doc that checked my first bloodwork post-op even mentioned that they might have to put me on TRT and that is the closest I have ever come to getting it.

As of now I'm awaiting the results for my latest bloodwork taken 3 days ago, luckily my new doc took my previous test results which showed test levels at 9,0 total and a very low reading on free T as well, seriously, so he contacted an endo which simply refused putting me on TRT without even seeing me. He has contacted a second endo and I will get an appointment earliest at may/ june. This seems like a lifetime for me since I'm struggling just to stay alive to be honest and I'm thinking of taking the matters into my own hands before it's too late, all I wanna do is live but just can't manage it atm.

Must also mention that I have probably been on every AD's( anti-depressants) and a bunch of different cocktails of pills for every single scenario regarding mental issues and in the end all they do is make things worse. Have also self medicated with every single illegal drug that exists including heroine( only for 2 months), yeah, I fucking hate myself and my life. Going out in public is my worst fear now due to people calling me shit, talking smack behind my back thinking I can't hear them. It has gotten so bad now that I can't even look people in the eye without getting nervous, I just don't trust or have faith in the human race anymore, all due to experiences I have had since my troubles started post-op. To be perfectly honest I have public 'breakdowns' which only have lead to more people laughing at me. My life is living hell and I want to die, all these problems have just escalated over the years and at times I don't even feel like a man anymore.

Sorry for the lenghty post, but just had to get it all out there as it's clouding my mind all day long.

Its all good. Bro alot of this has to do with diet, have you taken that approach yet? Keep going to the gym, and dont worry about what others say or think, remember that some of them are probably going through some ordeal just like yours. and keep coming back here and venting.

 

[Snemannen]

Hi, thought I would give a little update. I finally managed to get my GP to prescribe me Nebido as I didn't like using the gels. He refused and refused to begin with until I asked him if he was just afraid of needles or something? But after him consulting with a endo via the phone and getting confirmed that it was totally fine he himself injected me with the first couple of shots.

Now I've been on and doing good with Nebido for nearly a year. But what scared me a bit was my GP actually saying that maybe I could go totally off TRT now, yes, he seriously thinks my natural levels will be fine which goes to show how ignorant he is regarding this whole topic.

He also thinks my slight acne is due to my testosterone being too high, not believeing me when I tell him it's all genetic which it is. And to be frank it was the constant high/low of the gels that gave me some backne, never had that before using gels and lotion on top of it for extra absorption of the testogel.

Now I'm going to take a blood test after 10 weeks(I inject approx every 2 month, on my own)to see what my through is and I also have gotten my father to come with me to confirm to my GP that it's all genetic as both my younger brothers have even more acne than myself.

Also decided to change GP after having a final visit to him for blood works and just saying goodbye. Found a much younger man that hopefully knows just a tad more than my, at times, dumbarse GP.(He's always telling me horror stories about men on TRT and how they have spawned disformed or abnormal children and I dunno where he get's that shit from. It never fails as he always tries to almost trick me into going off TRT and doesn't seem to understand that my natural levels will be even worse than pre TRT. I just can't handle the constant unstability from him, never knowing what he might decide for himself and his general stupidity in the TRT area.)

Any info from people on Nebido and their through levels at around 10 weeks prior to next injection would be much appreciated as I'm pretty content with this interval but I just know my GP will space it further apart if I'm too high for his taste. Not taking into consideration how I actually feel.

Yeah, got diagnosed with ADHD so going to start with Ritalin pretty soon and also I'm on Suboxone which I've been on for over a year and Subs are well known for messing with a man's natural test levels. Long story but won't go into details, let's just say I should have been diagnosed with ADHD many moons ago, being 34 now, as my former drug use/abuse was just a chase to feel normal and content which I've never felt my whole life. Have tried ADHD meds before and been drug free over a year now almost 14 months to be exact which is a requirement for getting ADHD meds. My dopmamine levels was not in balance from the get go and drugs, of all kinds, only made it worse.

 

[Milton]

so your doc wants you off trt? wow. time for a new doc.

what are your levels now?

 

[Snemannen]

Hi again, guess my Doc had a bad day last time I went there. Today he did not mention it and had no problems writing a letter to my new Doc where he said I get my injections at the lowest time interval they allow which is 10 weeks. Yes, decided to switch Doctor since I got tired of him trying to convince me into going off by telling me horror stories about not being fertile as a man and such.

Luckily enough I've been able to self inject so sometimes I inject every couple of months instead of waiting the full 10 weeks. So far my Nebido experiences have been quite good, I'm gaining muscle mass and staying lean, which was pretty hard pre TRT despite having quite the good and clean diet.

My libido is really what I've noticed the most improvement in though as it's through the roof always having 'raging' hard on's in the mornings and if I wake up during the night having to take a piss.

It just feels so good finally having my TRT chimed in to a satisfying degree as it takes damn near a full year before it stabilizes and gives a good through reading. Gonna start taking more blood tests as I really only have gone by how I feel and look thus far. All I know is that I wanna be at least around 650 as a through.

Also I finally got diagnosed with ADHD and awaiting a appointment to assess wheter or not I'll start on meds to manage this neurological 'state of mind' better. I've tried both Ritalin and Concerta and have only good experiences with it. Guess my life is finally moving forward, having been clean and drug free for over a year by now and hopefully I'll manage to wean off the Suboxone after getting properly medicated for my ADHD.

All I know is that my former drug abuse was just a way to manage and cope with my severe my ADHD, that and working out was my 'medication' for it. Working out definitely being the best option as drugs have lead me nowhere in life thus far. I got quite the short fuse and don't shy away from physcial alteractions which is not a good thing and I know both Ritalin and Concerta makes me much more calm and easy going. Can't really afford another ticket/fine for doing something stupid in a haze of anger.

Anyways, just had to get all of that off of my chest and mind and now I'm going to read some more about positive Nebido experinces on here just to fully sement my faith in this drug actually working and improving my fitness and general well being.

 

[Systemlord]

Thanks for the update, it's always nice to hear a happy outcome for a change. It will take time but eventually the medical community will come around we they see how TRT can change the life of so many, it isn't going to happen overnight but eventually it will happen.

 

[Mycelium]

I remember my low T days. I can empathize with your OP. Glad thing are going better and thanks for the update!!