Dude i totally got you covered on this one!
Tell your super hot GF that you saw this late night cooking show and the grill-master-chief impressed upon you that the ONLY way to cook fillet mignon was to get sterile medical syringes and inject the marinade *inside* the meat!
Then you go buy 23g 1.5" pins in the "smallest" denomination your supplier would allow which is of course like 200 pins + replacement tips...
THEN you go out and get 2 good cuts of filet, inject them with some red-wine/olive oil concoction, grill them and then after first bite loudly exclaim (while beating your chest) that you are the manliest grill master and your meat shall always be cooked this way!
THEN 8 weeks later when your all hopped up on test, and banging the crap out of your smokin hot GF (no disrespect) and she gets her breathing under control and tells you that she loves how much red meat your eating marinated from the inside... then you think to yourself "fack, that buffg guy is one smart motherf*****r..."
Bang! Im out.