I've put my wife to squat and deadlift.
Squats and deadlifts (also stiff leg deads) made my butt bigger. I think those are excellent exercises for women too.
I've found that deep lunges make my ass extremely sore as well as very high step ups. As for abs, just use a variety of exercises to target all the abdominals each week and they will become stronger. Make sure you perform slow reps with abs because the exercises are easy to cheat on and recruit secondary muscles.
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