this is way too fucking long, its all shit.. don't read it. sincerely, charley
hey guys..
I'm alive, I'm not dead
the way too personal 2016 log continues..
i been sweating off some partying i had done, i plugged in with a chic for a couple weeks that gets a script every month for some opiates.. i don't drink , don't like the way weed slows down time, never been much for catching a buzz..
but god damn opiates !!! they always been an achiles heel of mine since i was prescribed a big bottle of those fuckers every month after fucking up my back. toot a line of that shit, and I'm floating on a cloud of titties.. flying around metropolis with an S on my chest all day then feel unstoppable when i hit the gym. flying high and nothing can fuck up my shine. all that dopamine from the OPS just numbing you to feeling any kind of sad or blues..
and being numb? sex on ops, on percosets.. i call it perco-sex - i can normally hammer out a solid one- two hour cardio run on some strange pussy, add some opiates? more like "how much time do we have anyway?" typical would be four hours of beating in her twat - and she can take the hammer like no other because she's all numbed out too- and after pounding it for that many hours its like a fucking major achievement just to bust ONE fucking nut after all that epic sex. more than once i just said fuck it - spit on her back and went " ugh! there you go honey! " and fucking faked it..
so i went off on a little bender, indulged in some wistful reminder of my youthful exuberance.. in the end basically reminded me why i quit the fucking things years ago to begin with, they take over every aspect of your existence when they stop getting you high and you need them to feel " normal" thats when its time to shut off the lights and say the party is over..
now I'm off that shit , i am right back to the reality check of my situation with all the depression of having a dopamine fucking glut. so yea, all the shitty you should have felt - plus all the shitty from your bodies inability to produce any fucking dopamine, on top of having way too many receptors online that soak up every little drop of dopamine that your body can manage to squeeze out without you feeling anything from it at all..
in other words, yeah i been misery dipped in shit. haven't felt like talking much - meh!!!
doing a full body workout twice a week, that feels alike my fucking body is going to tear apart whenever i grab any weight. i mean , i can feel the fucking hair growing our of my arms - lets do fucking pull ups for half an hour because we don't feel like dressing !! much less driving !!!
huzzah!!
yeah, my fucking eyebrows ache.. but I'm still pounding food and hitting it with the dumbbells and even some running. gear gets here for th bulk, ill be at a proper body fat and ready to rumble.. nothing like being down to set you up for a fucking spirited climb all the way to the top is there tho boys?
i did this fun little tail spin after being railroaded and landing in jail. yeah i left that out in my first post because i had some serious shit hanging over my head. well buckle up kids! uncle chuck was rathe naughty and it didn't look like it was going to end well!!!
so lets have a time warp flash back, like in a whacky sitcom, shall we?
weeks and weeks ago, I'm packing my shit andy moving the fuck on out.. from the upscale extra fancy rich fucking neighborhood where i lived with cuntface.. this neighborhood is populated by older people with cotton heads, and lawyer ceo types..
while carrying my shit out to the car, scorned wifey and i were exchanging words, that led to some shouting.. i think i said something like..
" let this go? how about i cut his fucking head off and see if that helps?" it was some shit like that..
literally making one of th last trips out with all my shit to the G ride - a fucking cruiser pulls up and hits me with his spot light..
a nice black man* steps out of the car and i swear to fucking god says " oh look its american history X"
(*edit)
ok im naked from the waist up, wearing od green fatigues and red steel toed logging boots. yea i get it..
black cop = I'm going to jail
i was already in a poor mood, knew this wasn't going to end well, fuck it.. " oh look , its fat bryant gumbel!"
he didn't like that, i didn't like him. off to a fine start. he murmurs soemithng into the radio pinned on his chest, can't really make out what he did say with all that fat gurgling in his throat when he spoke - but he breaks off form the radio and asks me " oh whats going on?"
i told him, " nothing, you lost? need help finding your way to a neighborhood you could afford to live in?"
some friendly banter while he holds a flashlight on me with his free hand resting on the handle of his pistol
three more cruisers pull up.
i literally said this, verbatim " i eat right, i train hard and take me vitamins! ( cockney accent there lads) and here i am in my forties with every fucking cop on duty in this city parked in me fucking driveway! I'm flattered boys really!"
im circled by these fuckers , cuffed and all asking me whats going on whats wrong whats happening whats my fav color..
my shoulders are a little weency bit wider than maybe some peoples, i told them honestly - having my hands cuffed like this is pinning my fuming shoulders behind my ears - this is painful, could you double up the cuffs for me?
" you look like a tough guy, I'm sure you'll be fine"
then fat bryant gumbel ask me " why are you sweating? are you nervous or scared?"
" really? first the american history x comment now this shit? hey asshole - nothing scary about a bunch of over weight douchbags who never got laid in highschool and became cops because they didn't want to have to actually WORK at a real job.. whens the last time any of you saw your dick without looking in a mirror? when the last time anyone wanted to see your dick? your wives girlfriends like the lights off rirhgt? no sunshine or daylight fucking in front of mirrors for you boys!!! ever in your whole life? oh fuck no! your fat floppy rosie odonell looking wives - and you and your oprah winfrey - they don't even wanna look at your asses naked, amirightorwhut?"
then i apologized to the two female cops standing there.. " sorry ladies, but they've ben antagonizing me!!"
the young hot female cop cracked grin and turned slightly sideways from the headlights of the cruiser i was leaning against the front of to hide her face. oh , i liked her.. her name was leah, she is a virgo, likes cross fit and paddle boarding and is 26 years old
she's the one took me to jail
I'm put in the back of a cruiser, windows up car shut off in 80+ degree heat for two hours while they took turns talking to my kids and wife.. in turn, all of them.. two hours of questions and they found " probable cause" to arrest me. like i didn't know that was going to happen..
strangely enough, there was no formal complaint.. no victim. no damage. photos or evidence.. even the phone call which summoned the chubby bryant gumble and his merry men reported only " yelling" so based only a suspicion that those being interviewed were " fearful and nervous, reluctant to talk" i went to jail because my wife and kids were intimidated and upset the cops were there at all.
you might find this had to believe.. but charley b has had some prior instances of less then fucking outstanding behavior. these are all quite dated and go back a ways.. yet are colorful and prolific , form my younger days, so the stack of shit i had against me made it look like i might very well get fucked here.. an unpleasant situation, indeed.
simple battery. dv
niiiiice..
at processing the lovely young lady walked one of the cities most dangerous fucking men into the facility without incident.. and asked me to be seated next to a fine african american gentleman with a striking resemblance to fucking Shabba Ranks
he asked me " you a skinhead?"
i replied.. " are you really mista lovah lovah?"
shabba apparently knew of his resemblance to the fine and famous character of SHABBA! and charley b made his first friend in jail that night.
my fucking shoulders are screaming at me, i requested double cuffs from miss leah.. and she obliged me, with a couple 'men' rushing over to make sure i was compliant while she used zip ties to dispose of the shiny bracelets which did insult me so.. at the display of urgent concern for her well being on their part - her response was " he's a giant teddy bear, he isn't going to hurt me.. i don't think he likes you guys though"
oh i really loved her..
i asked he permission to pace the length of the metal bench, after being cramped int he car for so long.. and permission granted. she was dreamy.. can handcuff me anyway laddies.. she was a pearl for sure.
so im pacing the bench, marching it off and getting some blood flow to my legs and stretching out the ache in my lower back.. shabba says this shit " ay bald head, look there! that blonde cop she kep looking at you man!"
sure nuff.. a fucking milfy blonde cop was taking glance at me, shied form making eye contact when i caught her..
shabba shook his head and grinned with mouthful of gold teeth " she likes em rough then yea! i wouldn't believe that shit man, you getitn looks from a cop while locked the fuck down man!"
and she was.. it wasn't once or twice, it was once or twice every minute or so that passed by. she's standing next to my dreamy young Leah, the virgo, and they're talking to each other.. then both looking up at me.
i noticed what city she was from.. raised my voice " excuse me, officer blonde hotness mam"
" you talking to me?"
" well i am NOT talking to young phillip seymor hoffman standing 15 get away from you , yes you are THE officer blonde hotness present here.. i notice you are from *** city? please be on the look out for a silver 2015 ***** cause that will be me!"
"and why should i be on the look out for you?"
"because when i am in your town and i see you on patrol, i am going to mash my foot right into the gas tank so you have to chase me down and give me a very stern talking to - you might even have to teach me a lesson!"
and the fucking two of them giggled. i flexed and gave them a two trap salute with my shoulders popping
at that moment, the full vitality of charley fucking b was restored.. shabba went " pfffft this is crazy.." and i remarked very quietly as not to even chance being heard and ruining a spectacular moment - "hey man, inmates knock up female guard all the time.. all the time! "
fuck yea. can't keep a good dog down lads.. chuck b knew it was going to be ok.. even if it didn't feel like it, sometimes it aint about how you feel , its about what you know..
processiing over, off to strip search. yay!
lined up against a wall, this guido picks me to step up to with 10-12 guys there, and sounds off two inches form my fucking face with a scream
"turn around hands on the wall!!!"
i thoguht about it. everybody else was doing it. then nah, fuck that.
" you hard of hearing?"
"i am now. you're shouting. I'm sensitive. "
I'm looking at this guy, he has a fucking crew cut.. all close shaved except for two and a half inches of hair right across his forehead. its standing straight up with gel or hair spray or somewhat in it. i had to ask
" who does your hair? it looks fucking gorgeous. those bangs really frame your face"
he was fucking bewildered, I'm not sure he heard half of what i said or just knew i was fucking with him.. he tried to stare me down and yelled some name, and off in the distance this limbering andre the giant looking pituitary retard comes over and asks me...
" everything ok?
" nah man. not really. three hours ago i was the guy you want to stop and change the tire for your wife, mother, girlfriend.. i get harassed by some fat fucking asshole with the job that your buddy " bangs " here really wanted but couldn't get - now I'm stuck in here with him acting like I'm some fucking dirtbag when nobody thinks " good guy/ decent human being" when th words " asshole prison guard" pops up in any conversation "
he didn't blink , he didn't smile, he just spoke in a slow monotone with no hint of any kind of anything
"will you turn around and put your hands on the wall sir"
-yes sir
then bangs chimed in and screamed " now take your..."
" no i will not. "
i look over my shoulder , and andre the giant is turning red and clenching his teeth trying not to smile. his chest is heaving up and down with the fucking laugher he is stifling thats causing that giant stop ding head of his to turn red.. I'm pretty sure he was enjoying this, advantage: Bronson
andre completed the drill.. i am fucking naked as a jaybird.
while other people are getting dressed, andre and bangs walk me over to a room full of other naked men.
i complimented bangs on his hair again, and andre opened the door and let me into my new holding cell.
it was like 50 fucking degrees in there. everyone was curled up in a ball and not moving, too cold to sleep fucking miserable.. men literally laying stock still with just eyeballs rolling around in their head looking at each other, at the room.. i took a different approach: i marched that shit butt naked like it was the bataan peninsula and some dirty jap would bayonet me if i laid down. i fucking marched in a circle, back and forth.. i did push ups. i sang " please release me". i called out cadence . i howled and and fucking barked like a dog every time bangs walked by.
three hours later.. andre comes to the door, calls me by my last name. he walks me to a single room, hands me two thick nasty wool blankets and says " you lay down, just lay down - don't move don't yell don't do anything - and ill spring you out of here and you'll get a cot and clothes and be able to rest"
"aye el capitan.. consider it done sir"
twenty minutes or so later, I'm knocked out and andre kept his fucking word. bangs is livid. I'm grinning, andre is back to dead eyed and monotone.. andre was good fucking people. some of those big guys, they don't have to fight they got nothing to prove.. and they'll be right with you every time. bangs was just a dipshit who got scared when he saw my jackboots and bald head.
maybe i should have relaxed and read th situation a little better.. then again , fuck BANGS!! when i was being cut loose like 36 hours later - a couple of the guards commented " yeah thats the guy that fucked with Jason!!! and they pointed at me and were laughing "
i said "oh.. you mean that jersey shore motherfucker looks like an italian version of Gilligan that i call BANGS???"
and they fucking guffawed their approval, one even fucking points his finger at me like - you da man!!! i am about 99% sure that is his fucking new name at work. so yeah your welcome , dickhead..
this new cell has a phone. i need to make phone calls. hey look! its mista lovah lovah!!! shabba! we cool, yea we cool..
im patiently waiting, in que.. and yes some zulu warriors tried to cut in front of me, i explained, no no no.. i have no bond, i won't be getting out - and if you wee fanny boys fuck around with me ill swell you up and you'll have no bond either. all this is mine.. all of it. thanks for playing.
shabba said.. " he got a bald ass head!" which i now understand to mean, was something of a compliment/ endearing term of acknowledgment/ and a warning to other members of his tribe. shabba ranks was cool in my book, seriously.
i used the phone, and when i was done i passed it off to an old spanish dude that had been waiting around to use the phone the way a jackal watches a kill being eaten by lions - he wasn't going to get in line.. he was going to wait until everybody else was done eating then dash in. well he'd been there longer than the jimminy crickets* (*edit) that had all been piled into our cell in the time id been there - he'd been there longer than me - so i did th right thing.. i gave him the phone. he kind of looked like fred murtz, a spanish fred murtz.. the neighbor guy on i love lucy , all old and non threatening..
he started talking on his phone call and they pushed in a new detainee.. who immediately walked over and slapped the phone out of puerto rican fred murtz hands while screaming ' dis my sheeeit!!!"
'well hello D-bo, but i must disagree, this here is " muh sheeeeit" and you just leave old fucking freddy murtz there alone before i fuck you up"
he made a hissing sound between his teeth while shaking his head, yet avoided eye contact and complied. i liked jail. if th real world worked like that shit, i would be donald fucking trump.
i was let out at fucking 9 clock the next night. 35 hours later. no money no battery on my phone. i was almost 15 miles from the house i was not allowed to go to by court order..
i marched it / jogged it out in a little over 2 hours. nobody there - caught a hot bath and some fucking food, i felt like a new woman
next day i found out DCF had been called.. wifey trying to do a hatchet job on me as a parent - not as a violent man, but as a despicable parent.
which i may have behaved like a piece of shit in my war on her fuming betrayal, but bitch please - i am , and have always been like the fucking Lion King when it comes to my kids. i have had kids since i was a fucking kid. i know how to be a father, they love me and that DCF shit was an underhanded shitbag move on the part of a very cunty and frustrated forty year old woman who'd been recently scrapped for someone ten years younger than her. doesn't matter what your girl does - just trade her in for younger pussy and watch her burn, she can't touch that - not ven sucking every one of your friends off - old hag!! have at it!!! so anywayyy
yeah woman scorned, DCF
the dcf chic was a hot puerto rican girl 28 years old with a bubble butt , who squats
within 5 minuted of meeting her, i made her blush. i knew i was golden
lets just say she gave me a glowing fucking report, and for some reason decided she's not taking my phone calls anymore.
with the cops fucked up narrative, no victim witness evidence.. and a DCF report that made me out to look like the fucking LION KING, which was accurate and true BTW.. yeah , my awesome jew lawyer got the shit DROPPED.
no fucking arraignment. no fucking nothing - buh bye!
so i survived that shit, including the assassination attempt on my parenting with a call to DCF.. which landed me something of a real feather in my fucking cap. if i told the story there, everyone would call bullshit. lets just say, there MIGHT be someone here who knows what I'm hinting at, and i have no reason to bullshit this human being..
the downside is.. the fucking wife has realized - so THIS is how to get to chucky motherfucky!!! i CAN CALL THE LAW!!!
i am being bated into making some kind of mistake, antagonized and fucked with to no end. even with harassing phone calls to my 70 year old mother. she is trying to lure me into fucking things up where she can call th cops, where she has some kind of valid complaint..
in my world? I'm about to blow up, upwards and onward to bigger and better things lads..
my bulk starts soon.. i have big plans for 2016.. everything is looking up, other than not being able to see my children who are being used as pawns in trying to do injury to the sensitive sure of old chuck b. that is a fucking shit unfair takedown. thats all i have to say about that.
i hope she finds a nice guy on chrstian mingle who belives in that half faggot hippy jesus shit she does. maybe he is a great cook or enjoys golfing.. and when he steps to that worn piece of real estate I've been hammering on for 17 years, i will make sure images of me with veins standing out on my neck as thick as pencils and fucking traps like a god damn sasquetch will pop into his fucking head every time he tries to hit it. have fun following my act , she's well ridden and traded in for a newer model with lower miles. enjoy the minivan with 300,000 miles you just purchased! ha!
meanwhile.. charley b has maybe found someone who is as much of a heathen as he is.. sexy and passionate, but light and happy and bringing old charley smiles and joy.. someone who he wants to be around.. charley b has been wooed and seduced lads.. my position as head of the he-man woman haters club is now vacated. i am in lust, and this shits about to get interesting.
love you lads, thanks for checking in on me..
if this was too long, the whole trip to jail felt way too fucking long. apologies all round then
next post short and sweet, like my new fucking crush..
charley b
