Sittin' on my couch eating cheetos and bon-bons, sipping gatorade while watching America's Next Top Model reruns in my pajamas in Mom's basement.
Damn, you totally saw through my internet facade and have outed me for all to see.
I guess it's back to the World of Warcraft forums for this 1337 d00d!
Or......
You're just not grasping how the human body works, and are hoping for a short cut to obtaining a body that you think will actually get you laid. Sorry kid, nothing worth doing in life is easy - nor does it often have a short cut available. Read everything you can, learn how to diet, and hit the gym HARD. Eventually you'll understand why you were made fun of, I promise.