Not drinking alcohol and how you do it?

[Southernfish]

I dont know what its like over there as far as fitness minded individuals. But the best way to not drink or achieve goals is to surround yourself with like minded people. You want to surround yourself with people you push you forward not pull you back. I understand you career is tour career but in your personal life try and do this.

 

[Megatron28]

It sounds like his friends or more or less on board -- or at least manageable. The issue seems to be with people he works with and/or does business with. That is a tougher situation. They don't care about you personally. No sense in pretending they do care. But you have to handle to situations well to not damage your career or client relationships.

I like the approach of a small white lie better in this situation. Something innocuous that will get you off the hook and not be embarrassing or harmful to you career. I wouldn't say you have liver problems for example as people might think you are ill and weak. The allergy excuse might work. Perhaps claiming religious reasons? Something simple like one of these might work.

Good luck!

 

[Southernfish]

It sounds like his friends or more or less on board -- or at least manageable. The issue seems to be with people he works with and/or does business with. That is a tougher situation. They don't care about you personally. No sense in pretending they do care. But you have to handle to situations well to not damage your career or client relationships.

I like the approach of a small white lie better in this situation. Something innocuous that will get you off the hook and not be embarrassing or harmful to you career. I wouldn't say you have liver problems for example as people might think you are ill and weak. The allergy excuse might work. Perhaps claiming religious reasons? Something simple like one of these might work.

Good luck!

Definitely a tricky situation. Not as though you can just drop those people and move on, lol.

And what you stated might not be a bad idea. No ones going to question you if you have a 'health issue'.

 

[3J]

its very tough for him.. Japanese culture is overwhelmingly connected to honor and shame.. and you honor your guest by drinking with them.. its a staple for them..

so when you dont drink with them they can easily take it as a form of disrespect..

which is why im 110% proud of your syn.. i know how much you have cut back.. and we have been losing weight every week since!!! youre doing excellent my friend!! keep using ology as a support system.. the guys here are awesome!

 

[synonymous]

Megatron got it right. Friends are easy to handle, clients not so much. 3J also gets the culture of NOT drinking/eating accepting something from others in the culture here.

It's a battle, but I'm up for it.

Appreciate all the input fellas.

 

[cybrsage]

I wonder if it is possible to control the situation by being the one who gets up to get the liquor. You can order non-alcoholic drinks that taste and look alcoholic. Yeah, Japanese culture is a very rigid one.

 

[Wick3d]

I wonder if it is possible to control the situation by being the one who gets up to get the liquor. You can order non-alcoholic drinks that taste and look alcoholic. Yeah, Japanese culture is a very rigid one.

Cybrsage nailed it! I've done this many times and it works! Or just always have your drink in hand when its time to order another round. If they hand you one down yours and excuse yourself and get another non-alcoholic drink.

 

[synonymous]

Cybrsage nailed it! I've done this many times and it works! Or just always have your drink in hand when its time to order another round. If they hand you one down yours and excuse yourself and get another non-alcoholic drink.

The alcohol is brought to us. No getting up to order. It's not something that can be hidden. I'm sitting next to or in front of people who are calling for more drinks, often without asking if I want another. Avoiding those situations altogether is what's working best so far.

 

[cybrsage]

Yep, been there. Went to a whiskey bar while visiting Japan when I worked for Matsushita Corp.

 

[FormerFatty]

I switch to a seltzer and lime or a cranberry and selzer. Most people just think you are drinking Vodka or Gin and don't bother asking. Also if a drink has been ordered for me I will sometimes just swap it out with the bartender. They usually do it for free.

 

[oldmusclemike]

You could always use a derivation of my excuse - tell people you have been feeling bad lately and you went to the doctor, who told you that you are showing all the signs of potential liver failure...that he said if you keep drinking, even one night, it could push your liver over the edge...you are still at the tipping point where you can make a full recovery, though. You can reference all the heavy drinking everyone knows you did and that will lend credibility to your story. All successful lies are wrapped around a large chunk of truth - gives people something to grab hold of when they want to believe the lie.

But like Mega said, if YOU need the help to stop drinking, nothing beats AA. In the rooms, there is nothing that can be said that others just do not get...they understand so fully that even when you cannot find the words, the fellings you are pushing forth are enough for them. It really is an amazing thing. I have seen such raw emotion there that I will never forget. A huge, hulk of a man crying crystal tears of pain and anguish as he said he slipped up and is now going back to jail, but the judge let him come to the meeting one last time to say goodbye...the guy who mentioned a DUI with fatality (drunk lived as usual) and casually said "I wonder if the same thoughts went through his mind, once sober, as did mine when I learned I killed a woman and her child". Seeing a State Senator come into the room...one I had a meeting with at the State Capitol a few hours before. His momentary shocked look when he saw men, then a nod and a small smile, knowing neither of us would ever reveal the other.

I'm clean and sober 3-1/2 years now. Yep it was AA that helped me and still does. The vivid memories help, that feeling of being physically and financially as sick as I was is just a disgusting and sickening thought now. My addiction was not only mental but with the opiates it was extremely physical and the anytime withdrawal was too much to make it a day.

So when I got to the rooms of AA I heard this first sentence out of Chapter 5 that they read at every meeting. I'll quote just so if anyone really needs help they can think about this sentence and make a decision right here.... "Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path"
So I will just suggest to you guys who might need a helping word, this is a truism and it works. It can and will work if you want it.

I'll just close it right here because this is too big and not the primary purpose of this forum, however I just wanted to put in a short note of my experience , strength and hope. Any questions or help I can be, please PM me.

 

[Wick3d]

I just don't drink it at all. What's the problem?

"I live in a culture where it's almost mandatory to drink"

 

[jupiterlocal]

I fight with this one every friday..... Its nice to read some others simularities to mine. glad to see some members have been successful in getting happier.

 

[strom]

Sounds like you need to quit 100% for yourself, then you just tell everyone sorry you don't drink.

If friends are a problem, get new friends.

I quit everything cold turkey, easter weekend 1993.

 

[Xayd187]

im a recovering alcohol kinda without the treatment and all just decided one day to stop.. and im talking drinking a minimum 36 beers a week.. for about 10 years.. was hardcore drinking on weekends from 14 to 20.. then once i hit 21 id just buy it all the time and yea turned into heavy drinking during the weeks..

So stopped out of the blue this year...and will never look back.. the amounts of money saved is insane.. wallets happy now. so its easy to stop when you see the bank climbing..
ive drank about 3 times this year.. but nothing insane and will only be for special days.. superbowl.. boxing matches etc.. and very low amounts

 

[snowpatrol123]

There's a lot of solid advice in this thread, and for whatever it's worth I'm proud/happy/etc of your effort and progress syn.

I've been there and it's not an easy battle but you're on the right path imo

 

[akol]

I'm clean and sober 3-1/2 years now. Yep it was AA that helped me and still does. The vivid memories help, that feeling of being physically and financially as sick as I was is just a disgusting and sickening thought now. My addiction was not only mental but with the opiates it was extremely physical and the anytime withdrawal was too much to make it a day.

So when I got to the rooms of AA I heard this first sentence out of Chapter 5 that they read at every meeting. I'll quote just so if anyone really needs help they can think about this sentence and make a decision right here.... "Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path"
So I will just suggest to you guys who might need a helping word, this is a truism and it works. It can and will work if you want it.

I'll just close it right here because this is too big and not the primary purpose of this forum, however I just wanted to put in a short note of my experience , strength and hope. Any questions or help I can be, please PM me.

This^^^^^^ That's the best advice in this thread. Treatment and AA is how I was able to get sober after coming close to drinking myself to death. It wasn't easy and I failed at getting sober more times than I can count (it took two times in treatment and 5 years) but once I finally followed the what the people in AA said, I was able to stay sober. Now, after being sober for a while, I can go out with my wife to the bar or with a group of friends and everyone knows I don't drink and my drink of choice when out is diet coke. Nobody will judge for not drinking. I could go on for hours but PM me if you want some help.

 

[cybrsage]

It is very hard, since he is in Japan. It is made harder because people are used to him drinking.

I tell people I had liver damage from too much drinking. I tell them it has regenerated fully, thankfully, but I can no longer drink due to potentially damaging my liver permanently. Everyone stops offering drinks immediately. The issue is that so many people have seen you drinking that they will not believe this line. You will have to slowly introduce feeling ill, etc. Then have a doctor's appointment for a routine checkup, but tell people they found extensive liver damage and you must stop drinking immediately or potentially die. Then slowly recover - and by the time you do, they will be used to you no longer drinking.

It is a hard culture to be inside - especially as a gaijin.

 

[Paulsmith]

So in early January I had some drinks. Since then nothing. I would say that this is now the longest I've gone without alcohol in years. This last week has been no problem staying away from the alcohol but as this flu is nearing it's end, and invites coming my way to go out, I've come to the conclusion that I've got a bit of an alcoholic residing in me.

My wife drinks every day. She's tiny, I don't know how she stays tiny. Her drinking at home, I can handle. It's the after-work invites that are tempting (On the weekend). During the week I've got the gym and my day is sort of geared around going to the gym so staying clear of alcohol, while a bit of a task, I can do. I wonder how others handle alcohol consumption?

While others chowed down on burgers and fries today, I had my veggies and chicken out. I don't seem to have an issue with others eating some very delicious looking/smelling food while I'm around. Alcohol is the bad guy. I can't just 'drink 1' and leave it at that, so I don't drink (Or try not to anyways).

Since starting the 3J I think I've cut back on 90% or more of my alcohol consumption when I look back at how I would have drank.

its all in your mind if you keep in mind that you should not drink alcohol so you will be able to fight it over stay strong you will see it will change your life. you know that where there is a will there is a way...

 

[2knives]

So in early January I had some drinks. Since then nothing. I would say that this is now the longest I've gone without alcohol in years. This last week has been no problem staying away from the alcohol but as this flu is nearing it's end, and invites coming my way to go out, I've come to the conclusion that I've got a bit of an alcoholic residing in me.

My wife drinks every day. She's tiny, I don't know how she stays tiny. Her drinking at home, I can handle. It's the after-work invites that are tempting (On the weekend). During the week I've got the gym and my day is sort of geared around going to the gym so staying clear of alcohol, while a bit of a task, I can do. I wonder how others handle alcohol consumption?

While others chowed down on burgers and fries today, I had my veggies and chicken out. I don't seem to have an issue with others eating some very delicious looking/smelling food while I'm around. Alcohol is the bad guy. I can't just 'drink 1' and leave it at that, so I don't drink (Or try not to anyways).

Since starting the 3J I think I've cut back on 90% or more of my alcohol consumption when I look back at how I would have drank.

Key number 1 to sobriety change your social group.
2-lay down the law at home
3-stop going to bars or house parties
4-find your passion and follow that with blinders on.

That is how I have been able to do it.