Patterns

[Smilee21]

After many weird experiences throughout the years, I have come to realize I always seem to attract Men with are involved in a relationship, married, or about to get married. I do not know why this is, it makes it very difficult to try to begin things with anyone, BC not all men seem to tell me the truth up front but later on the truth slowly comes out as they begin to develop deeper feelings for me.

Why do I attract the men that are not available? Is it bc I am so open with my sexuality and a free thinker and act on my impulses...

I try really hard to stay away from individuals like these, but they always seem to come my way, and when I say I cannot play with you unless your partner joins in the fun (i say this jokingly bc I know all they want to do is be unfaithful) they get upset and say they are not into that kind of thing.

Where is the respect for their women and for me come into play, or does that get thrown out the door the moment they get a hard on, wanting to feel someone else's goods?

 

[hard2gain]

I'm gonna have fun with these conversations lol respectfully of course!

Let me start by saying men haven't made it too far past the caveman stage. We are very primal and you head the head on the nail when you said EVERYTHING goes out the door the moment they get a hard on lol. Not just respect for women but even respect for friends, family, and themselves.

Now the reason I think you are attracting these "taken" men is pretty simple. You are a flirt. Let me put it this way and compare to something. There are two kinds of cats, a house cat and a wild cat. The wild cat is like the single guys, they have to go out and hunt for their prey so they can get their food (aka sex). The house cat pretty much chills back until it's given it's food. The house cat still would love to catch a mouse but it doesn't have to so it doesn't hunt for it. So one day the house cat is out chillin with his buddies and a flirty little mouse comes up to him and sparks a conversation. You bet your ass he's gonna go for that mouse, he wants it and it's right there talking to him.

 

[Smilee21]

I like the fact I am very comfortable in my skin and comfortable with my sexuality. It just makes it hard sometimes to behave, I have been good for so long (bc I choose to be). I am a little scared once I begin to have a little fun with individuals I am not going to want to stop. LOL... like a little kid in a candy store wanting to have a piece of every single candy in the store, just for a little taste, to satisfy the hunger within that curiously intrigued kid. I flirt with individuals for that same reason, I am curious to see how they will respond. Testing them, some are very challenging and I LOVE challenges. I don't hold back, I say it how is it, what's on my mind.

Do I makes changes within to stop this type of behavior if I want different types of individuals to approach me, Hmm... I just do not know how long I could refrain from being the natural flirt that I am... nor if I would ever want to change that part of me.

 

[Georgia]

I wish I was your gym partner Smilee. Holy cow.

 

[hard2gain]

You Can't change who you are but you can change the people you go after. It's hard when most guys are willing to lie to get what they want.

 

[Detour5]

You Can't change who you are but you can change the people you go after. It's hard when most guys are willing to lie to get what they want.

I disagree, you can change who you are, it's about whether you want to. If you couldn't change your habits then we would all live in a very static society with no social mobility. Smilee, if you want to change then work on it, if you don't then just enjoy yourself.

 

[Smilee21]

I disagree, you can change who you are, it's about whether you want to. If you couldn't change your habits then we would all live in a very static society with no social mobility. Smilee, if you want to change then work on it, if you don't then just enjoy yourself.

I do want to change, I know what I can do differently, I'm unhappy with whom tries to approach me right now. They don't respect me but that's BC I am not completely showing my myself the full respect I deserve. Some things within me are broken, I need to re-evaluate things and work on those areas I am weak. I might look like I have it all together but I'm really still a Lil Lost Girl trying to find her way. Finding herself... This journey has had its obstacles and I know I have a long ways to go, but it's baby steps in the right direction, taking it one step and one day at a time.

 

[Teutonic]

Your constantly deleting your own posts.....your settling into a new you I assume ? I ve never delted one of mine.

We all are able to change if we want. You ll be fine. I went from wide open partier adrenaline fueled job...to a much more mellow existense...that involves a love for and enjoyment of ...WOMEN attractive is a must, successful a plus..and I m picky...why not be..?

Money and assests is the only reason why I ll marry again. Too shallow for you ? Just honest.

My son my mom are the only human s that truelly matter to me.

Enjoy yourself ...

 

[Smilee21]

I have deleted my posts, bc the more time I spend thinking about everything, the more I see that I just need to be patient and figure these things out, its my choices in life that have made me who I am, but it does not Define who I am as a person. I have always taken care of others 100% but felt like it was never being returned to me. I am a lover, a mother, a giver... And I just want to be content with whom is in my life, to not get tired of the being in a relationship that feels one sided

I am wanting more in my life than I currently have, but it's from me achieving the goals I set for myself, I need to do me. I have always put things off to the side to take care of others.

For once in my life, I need to focus on me... Me and my Son, and do what is best for us.
I don't know what my future will be like, I just know I don't want to have a repeat of my past relationships. I am barely Coming into my own skin and realizing what it is I really want and dont want.

 

[Phatbastard]

I have deleted my posts, bc the more time I spend thinking about everything, the more I see that I just need to be patient and figure these things out, its my choices in life that have made me who I am, but it does not Define who I am as a person. I have always taken care of others 100% but felt like it was never being returned to me. I am a lover, a mother, a giver... And I just want to be content with whom is in my life, to not get tired of the being in a relationship that feels one sided

I am wanting more in my life than I currently have, but it's from me achieving the goals I set for myself, I need to do me. I have always put things off to the side to take care of others.

For once in my life, I need to focus on me... Me and my Son, and do what is best for us.
I don't know what my future will be like, I just know I don't want to have a repeat of my past relationships. I am barely Coming into my own skin and realizing what it is I really want and dont want.

Sounds like you always focus on you to me! Just sayin

 

[Smilee21]

Sounds like you always focus on you to me! Just sayin

Was over analyzing, that's all

 

[Teutonic]

Leave them..noone will shred on you..it ll help you to go back and look what you felt at that moment..writng helps..if my ex got all my draft s I d be on the run.

I am the biggest trainwreck on here so let it roll girl...

 

[Smilee21]

Leave them..noone will shred on you..it ll help you to go back and look what you felt at that moment..writng helps..if my ex got all my draft s I d be on the run.

I am the biggest trainwreck on here so let it roll girl...

Lol... Thanks

Went for a 16 mile run and cleared my head. Just releasing those thoughts made a big difference, it helped me see how I actually view myself.