Question for all you ladies

[Milhouse]

hey all,

Like your section and thought I would post here if thats ok. Trying to be a kinder genteler milly.

Ok here is my question.

I see alot of talk here/on the net in general on relationships.

What do you all generally look for in a guy?

PS I am not trying to pick up but I will use myself as an example as I have gone thru quite a physical, mental , spiritual etc change espec the past year

Me I am 35 y/o on Monday, 5'9ish, 225lbs football player/wrestler type build, blue/green eyes( everybody says different for some reason), clean shaven head, goatee, most of my teeth, humourous, romantic, sexual deviant(j/k) . Like working out, reading, movies, learning guitar, can sing, cooking, eating what I cook most of the time, love animals, getting used to kids, sometimes moody and sarcastic. Can be diorganized yet very professional and work in my family's business. Dont drink or do drugs.

Most important I feel that whether you think you can or cant, well your right.

 

[chelsea]

I tend to look for a guy who is thoughtful, fun, responsible, shares some of my interests but still has his own, physically attractive to me, and shares similiar values and goals. Chelsea

 

[Milhouse]

Cool

See the reasons i ask this is because often we all complain or sigh about how the people we are with or that we cant find a person to be with and all the reasons but nobody ever seems to talk about what the heck they are looking for.

 

[gorilla_boy]

Cool

See the reasons i ask this is because often we all complain or sigh about how the people we are with or that we cant find a person to be with and all the reasons but nobody ever seems to talk about what the heck they are looking for.

When they do talk about what they're looking for, they're lying...

 

[Milhouse]

When they do talk about what they're looking for, they're lying...

Nah not all of them

 

[gorilla_boy]

Nah not all of them

http://www.intellectualwhores.com/masterladder.html

 

[FunnyMonkey]

http://www.intellectualwhores.com/masterladder.html

yeah I read that a while back and it proves absolutely true with present situations and with past ones looking back on them.

 

[Frosty]

yeah I read that a while back and it proves absolutely true with present situations and with past ones looking back on them.

I agree it's true and it really pisses me off when I think about things that have happened to me.

 

[Milhouse]

well lets not be pissed off about things guys.

The girls sure could point out alot of things they dont like about us that are true and not true as well

I just want to know what the general consensus is on what they look for and better yet do they have/found or are still looking for that.

I think an even bigger issue on why we dont find the types we want is because we are all so busy trying to decide what we want that we forget to ask ourselves if we are the type of person that would attract what we want.

works both ways and unforunatley most people are incable or unwilling to take an honest look at themselves.

If you really think about it, it is more our own faults as people to the type opf people we ultimatley attract eample if your a doormat you will attract typical arseholes where if your too agrerssive you will attract doormats.

Where the hell is the challenge in that.

 

[Milhouse]

the way we act in everyday life reflects in the type of people we end up attracting, simply put from the 2 viewpoints

If you end up attracting only psycho hosehead women then figure out what changes you need to make to stop attracting those types instaed of always pointing fingers

If you end up attracting verbally/physically abusive type guys then its time to figure out the changes you need to make to keep those dickheads away.

Not simple to do but simple when you think about it

 

[chicmuscle]

i would like to answer your question Milhouse, but it seems that i cant. if i was to state what i look for it would be wishful thinking. my favorite qoute is " we come to this would not to love a perfect person, but by seeing a imperfect person perfectly." i do like equality on both parts though. i guess the ability for a couple to compromise. and i personally hate arguing. i dont do it now. i plan on never doing it. not much help to your thread. but from the time you posted it till now, i have been thinking of a grounded answer.

chichy

 

[rubberduckyo]

I could go off on my usual speel about getting happy with yourself as a person first but I don't think that's what you're looking for......

I've never actually gone out "searching" for a mate as I married quite young, spent a great deal of time by myself enjoying my independance and then just happened upon 'Ology and Sweets.

There are however certain qualities I admire in Sweets that I feel make us a good pairing.

Strength, honesty, genuine concern for other people, graciousness and humor just to name a few.

You may think it's odd that I include humor in that list but hey, who doesn't like to laugh?

Hope that helps a bit.....

 

[chicmuscle]

I could go off on my usual speel about getting happy with yourself as a person first but I don't think that's what you're looking for......

you mean having love of oneself? yes,,, i agree. how can one truley love another if they dont love themself. it doesnt seem right to me any other way.

chichy

 

[rubberduckyo]

you mean having love of oneself? yes,,, i agree. how can one truley love another if they dont love themself. it doesnt seem right to me any other way.

chichy

Yes that's what I meant. Another way to say it would to be comfortable in your one skin. It's nice to have companionship but you don't need it to be happy and content.

 

[chicmuscle]

Yes that's what I meant. Another way to say it would to be comfortable in your one skin. It's nice to have companionship but you don't need it to be happy and content.

i hear you

chichy

 

[Milhouse]

I think alot of people go thru one of too things in life myself included at certain points which hurt us in the relationship department

1- too much self loathing

2- too much in love with ourselves

 

[chicmuscle]

I think alot of people go thru one of too things in life myself included at certain points which hurt us in the relationship department

1- too much self loathing

2- too much in love with ourselves

thats something to think about

chichy

 

[rubberduckyo]

I think alot of people go thru one of too things in life myself included at certain points which hurt us in the relationship department

1- too much self loathing

2- too much in love with ourselves

There's a big difference between being happy and content than being in love with yourself so let me clarify in case you were referring to my post.

Liken it to just being comfortable about your daily life. Sure you'd like to have a significant other but it's not something that's constantly on the brain and you go about your life quite happy that way.

This is harder to explain than I thought.....

 

[Nicole]

I like guys who are horny.

 

[Milhouse]

There's a big difference between being happy and content than being in love with yourself so let me clarify in case you were referring to my post.

Liken it to just being comfortable about your daily life. Sure you'd like to have a significant other but it's not something that's constantly on the brain and you go about your life quite happy that way.

This is harder to explain than I thought.....

wasnt referring to your post but I do understand what you mean

What I basically mean by self loathing or being in love with ourselves is basically meaning when we dont see the forest for the trees ie look in the mirror and ask why instead of looking out and asking why.