What do you yall? Im lost

[Bullseye Forever]

Since my dad died,i have been just lost and dearly hurt,and now all of a sudden I developed a but of anger or something of sorts,i just stay upset all the time,my moods are bad,i get upset really easy and just snap,even at my wife or any of my family....is this a symptom of grief? or the way some people deal with thier loss,to be honest I dont know whats going on

 

[Georgia]

Sounds like you're not through grieving over your fathers death. You need some sort of outlet to channel your emotions. I'm guessing the gym isn't enough. Maybe you should talk to a therapist? Just to get your feelings out and have that weight lifted off your shoulder. Hope it gets better bro.

Me...when I really feel depressed/angry...any negative feelings...I used to literally go by myself 2 hours to the beach...and just relax...and think...and reflect. It helped MY mood tremendously. That alone time to think and be somewhere peaceful.

 

[darkside06]

it's normal man, i get that way to. it's just your way of dealing with things. it will pass.

 

[bigmike33]

My big brother its ok ur still hurt. But bro u know im here for u my cater hasn't passed but as u know how close I was to my grandfather I still just want one more hug and to just tell him I love him bro. Hang in there my friend..

 

[bigmike33]

My father hasn't passed as u know. Sorry my phone did that

 

[Zero V]

You must find your outlet, and face the apparition of grief and confusion that will present itself.

This can be done many ways.

Through faith and time with God. Prayers and studying the word.
Through Family and friends.
Through finding a calm, a relaxing meditative location/state. Such as the beach as mentioned previously.
Through the physical outlets. Do not be afraid to grab a punching bag and beat the living hell out of it while crying your hardest and screaming like a madman. Sometimes you really just need to let it explode out of you.

There were hardships in my life...when I cried and shook with anger and sorrow so deep that it made me physically ill, unable to eat for days, unable to sleep. Eventually it just exploded and left me so drained I could only sleep for a few weeks. Then the healing began. Luckily that was years before I experienced death of someone I loved. So I had grown and matured.

Your always going to feel a pull form this loss. But make sure you control what the pull does. Will you let it pull you down, or pull you up? Will you stare into a bottle saying "I wish" Or will you bust your @ss for your family to accomplish great things, and look to the sky and say "That ones for you pops."

We will all experience these things...I dreadfully fear losing my father, and he has been chronically injured/ill for 17 years now...most of my life...Died several times on the operating table over the years...its a miracle of a miracle he is still functioning, and yet still eating trash, smoking, and gulping a gallon of coffee a day while taking so many medications it would kill me in a heartbeat if I took a tenth of them.

Losing someone is never our choice. But how we deal with it is our choice. Its not an easy thing to do. A little over a year ago I remember screaming at God erratically when I got the call my grandma was in the hospital and "It was time", and drove like a madman just to get there and within a minute she was gone, she looked at me one last time and exhaled her last breath. And it still hurts when I think about it because I loved her dearly, and she was a great woman who believed in me more than I ever will myself.

Its because of her, who suffered helping me deal with college and financial issues, that I am going back to school, even paying out of pocket, and busting my @ss to get my Doctorate 7 years from now. I owe her that.

As always, if you need to talk. I know me, and everyone else are here.

Most of us can sympathize in some way from our own lives.

Just don't let it consume you, sometimes its better to just not think. To stare blankly at the sky, and just not think.

 

[Bullseye Forever]

thank you so much to all of yall,part of me died that night,and i will never be the same,and Ido need to find more things to do to help me chill out,having more faith,praying more and relying on God more,that i ahve not been doing like i should have,and its my fault,when something like this happens to anyone you never do know how you will deal with it,including me

i do take therapy 2-3 times a month,not for this but other mental reasons,but ive cancelled because of whats happened,i plan to reschedule my regular therapy sessions

i really apreciate yalls help and advice and i will take everything that was posted and put more effort into it,thanks my brothers

 

[stevenmd]

thank you so much to all of yall,part of me died that night,and i will never be the same,and Ido need to find more things to do to help me chill out,having more faith,praying more and relying on God more,that i ahve not been doing like i should have,and its my fault,when something like this happens to anyone you never do know how you will deal with it,including me

i do take therapy 2-3 times a month,not for this but other mental reasons,but ive cancelled because of whats happened,i plan to reschedule my regular therapy sessions

i really apreciate yalls help and advice and i will take everything that was posted and put more effort into it,thanks my brothers

Brother, take some time to read up on the stages of grief and loss. What you are feeling is normal. How long a person stays in any given stage is individualized to that person. You should only be concerned if you are stuck in one of the stages for such a long time that it interferes with daily living and relationships. Sorry if this sounds so clinical but I don't know how else to explain it.

 

[Flexx1]

It will pass bro , remember try and stay positive ...

 

[Mrs P]

Since my dad died,i have been just lost and dearly hurt,and now all of a sudden I developed a but of anger or something of sorts,i just stay upset all the time,my moods are bad,i get upset really easy and just snap,even at my wife or any of my family....is this a symptom of grief? or the way some people deal with thier loss,to be honest I dont know whats going on

Bullseye,

What our going through it's normal, grief is such a deeply personal process.

It's been 4 years since my dad passed & it still hurts. At first I went through a "denial" stage, I felt I was living a bad dream & would wake up at any moment.
Then I went through the "blame" stage, I read & examined all the medical records searching for someone to blame, looking for a "mistake" that made with him..after all I felt if I blamed his death on someone it would somehow make me feel better & not hurt as much... Anger, blame, regret, sorrow..
Emotional roller coaster to say the least...

These are really hard times for u & your family..
I think u should go back to therapy, I think it helps to talk about what your feeling & to hear how others are dealing with it.

It does get easier, the pain will always be there but u learn to accept & move on.

Hang in there !

 

[Bullseye Forever]

Brother, take some time to read up on the stages of grief and loss. What you are feeling is normal. How long a person stays in any given stage is individualized to that person. You should only be concerned if you are stuck in one of the stages for such a long time that it interferes with daily living and relationships. Sorry if this sounds so clinical but I don't know how else to explain it.

actually brother a friend of mine today gave me a book on grief that im gonna read,so maybe it will help me alot

Bullseye,

What our going through it's normal, grief is such a deeply personal process.

It's been 4 years since my dad passed & it still hurts. At first I went through a "denial" stage, I felt I was living a bad dream & would wake up at any moment.
Then I went through the "blame" stage, I read & examined all the medical records searching for someone to blame, looking for a "mistake" that made with him..after all I felt if I blamed his death on someone it would somehow make me feel better & not hurt as much... Anger, blame, regret, sorrow..
Emotional roller coaster to say the least...

These are really hard times for u & your family..
I think u should go back to therapy, I think it helps to talk about what your feeling & to hear how others are dealing with it.

It does get easier, the pain will always be there but u learn to accept & move on.

Hang in there !

thank you so much Mrs.P !!!!!im going through excatly the same things you did from the start,i will hang in there i promise

 

[Sassytassie84]

Hey you,

I have not personally lost a parent yet and hope that it doesn't happen for a long while but I am really sorry that you are going through this. I can say that my aunt lost her 10 yo son 2 years ago and the pain I saw that family go through and come out of was incredible. When I asked them how they were able to still be ok (I could not even possibly begin to conceptualize losing a child), they told me one day at a time. Some days are harder than others but whenever the family starts feeling down about it, they celebrate something about his life, something he accomplished or something they all did together. Maybe this is something you can do for yourself. Find something you and he did together or that he taught you as a child and (if you have kids, teach them!) if not, go and spend the time with yourself doing it. My dad taught me how to fish. Something I will prob do when that time comes is go sit at a creek or at the beach with a rod and catch some fish while reflecting on the good times we had. Idk if that helps, but I hope so. =)

 

[Bullseye Forever]

Hey you,

I have not personally lost a parent yet and hope that it doesn't happen for a long while but I am really sorry that you are going through this. I can say that my aunt lost her 10 yo son 2 years ago and the pain I saw that family go through and come out of was incredible. When I asked them how they were able to still be ok (I could not even possibly begin to conceptualize losing a child), they told me one day at a time. Some days are harder than others but whenever the family starts feeling down about it, they celebrate something about his life, something he accomplished or something they all did together. Maybe this is something you can do for yourself. Find something you and he did together or that he taught you as a child and (if you have kids, teach them!) if not, go and spend the time with yourself doing it. My dad taught me how to fish. Something I will prob do when that time comes is go sit at a creek or at the beach with a rod and catch some fish while reflecting on the good times we had. Idk if that helps, but I hope so. =)

Thanks Sassy,thats what my sister told me last night,cause im the oldest and spent all of my life with him,working with him,doing stuff etc so i was around him the most,alot more than my 2 sisters,so i have plenty of great memories i can replace the hurt with,now i just gotta start doing that instead of the reliving the day he died thanks hon