A kiss

[Smilee21]

I see where Mrs P is coming from. I agree with her it seems this is your outlet to express yourself, you seem to do so very well, I guess that's why we seem to have a hard time believing you're shy.

Well, it's great that you are real determined to do all you do and we wish you luck in your body/fitness goals. The fact that you've dropped over 50lbs(?) is great already. Just keep plugging away.

I have no problem expressing myself through my words. I do a lot of poetry and short stories (minus my poor grammar) I am an excellent writer when my mind is in the right place...lol

In person is a totally different story. As a supervisor I would have to stand in front of everyone during meetings and I would freak out (internally bc I didn't want to mess up during my presentations). I'm very quiet and shy in person around certain individuals, it takes me a while to come out of my shell.

I have always been this way...

Oh BTW-thank you
It's been a crazy journey trying to get back into this. I smoked cigs for almost 2 years straight (when my ex and I ended our relationship). I quit smoking in sep; i couldn't train properly if I didn't give up all the old habits that caused me to become as unhealthy as I let myself become.

 

[stevenmd]

I see where Mrs P is coming from. I agree with her it seems this is your outlet to express yourself, you seem to do so very well, I guess that's why we seem to have a hard time believing you're shy.

Well, it's great that you are real determined to do all you do and we wish you luck in your body/fitness goals. The fact that you've dropped over 50lbs(?) is great already. Just keep plugging away.

Smilee is a good friend of mine and, yes, she's very shy in person. But I enjoy seeing the other side of her in her posts.

 

[Detour5]

Smilee is a good friend of mine and, yes, she's very shy in person. But I enjoy seeing the other side of her in her posts.

Haha, Reading some of her posts I'm sure you do!

 

[stevenmd]

Haha, Reading some of her posts I'm sure you do!

LOL, not what you're thinking! I have a lot of respect for her. Besides, I can't cross that line because even though my wife and I have been separated for almost a year, in my opinion we're still married on paper and in God's eyes. So for now I consider Smilee a true friend.

 

[Detour5]

That's nice you have ethics. Not many people do..

 

[Smilee21]

LOL, not what you're thinking! I have a lot of respect for her. Besides, I can't cross that line because even though my wife and I have been separated for almost a year, in my opinion we're still married on paper and in God's eyes. So for now I consider Smilee a true friend.

I have a lot of Respect for you Also Stevenmd; there are not too many ppl I let in my inner circle and I have let you in with open arms. The friendship we have is a special one; you are someone I want in my life for a long long time my friend.

 

[stevenmd]

That's nice you have ethics. Not many people do..

Thanks but, not gonna lie, she's super fun to flirt with and has one of the coolest personalities I've ever come across but unfortunately I'm not in any position to go further than that.

I have a lot of Respect for you Also Stevenmd; there are not too many ppl I let in my inner circle and I have let you in with open arms. The friendship we have is a special one; you are someone I want in my life for a long long time my friend.

Me too.

 

[Smilee21]

Thanks but, not gonna lie, she's super fun to flirt with and has one of the coolest personalities I've ever come across but unfortunately I'm not in any position to go further than that.

Me too.

Smilee21 is all smiles, I have so much love and respect for you. True friends are so hard to come by. I totally dig your personality too Stevenmd and it's super fun to be myself with you, I love the fact we can have a deep convo and then for some strange reason we get way off topic. You always make me laugh, not too many ppl can make me laugh as easily as you do. Kudos

 

[barnzy7]

I think it's def. easier going in for the first kiss when you barely know the girl or don't really have feelings. the more feelings you have and longer you've known her the harder it gets...that being said you know by the first kiss if its going any further. I had a girl that i tried to get with for a year, finally did..kiss sucked. it was like she was half retarded...it ended right there

 

[Smilee21]

I think it's def. easier going in for the first kiss when you barely know the girl or don't really have feelings. the more feelings you have and longer you've known her the harder it gets...that being said you know by the first kiss if its going any further. I had a girl that i tried to get with for a year, finally did..kiss sucked. it was like she was half retarded...it ended right there

Awe that's no bueno... I am a hopeless
Romantic and I imagine sharing my first kiss with one person that my feelings seem to slowly be developing for. I figure If and when the time is right and we do have a special moment, we Will have an electrical charge between us that will make it so hard to control ourselves around one another lol. It's always good to have a good imagination IMO

 

[barnzy7]

Awe that's no bueno... I am a hopeless
Romantic and I imagine sharing my first kiss with one person that my feelings seem to slowly be developing for. I figure If and when the time is right and we do have a special moment, we Will have an electrical charge between us that will make it so hard to control ourselves around one another lol. It's always good to have a good imagination IMO

I hope it all works out how you want it too!

Idk why but for some reason all I can think about reading what you wrote is how sexy it is...

 

[Smilee21]

I hope it all works out how you want it too!

Idk why but for some reason all I can think about reading what you wrote is how sexy it is...

It comes from my heart and my vivid imagination

Thank you

 

[opulence68]

hoping for sparks

 

[Georgia]

I have a lot of respect for you brother. A lot. I went down that path once. My first wife was a virgin until our wedding night. That marriage was such a horrible experience and on top of that, I was excommunicated from the church for getting a divorce. No one seemed to care "WHY" we were divorcing, they only cared about the letter of the law.

I would love to meet a woman like you describe. Since my second wife and I separated last April she has spent her time out dating, etc. I have spent my time healing and growing. I haven't been out on one date because we are still married on paper and in God's eyes.

Why did y'all divorce anyhow?

 

[stevenmd]

Why did y'all divorce anyhow?

First or second?
First - "if" I was lucky I got to rub against her on a Saturday night and got to have sex on special occasions. She refused to go to counseling. Got to a point where she wouldn't even sit on the couch next to me to watch a movie because "it might lead to sex." Imagine that, having sex with your spouse! Emotionally, she was not very giving and supportive either. Whoever had the day off made dinner that night. On her nights it's be 8pm and I'd ask where dinner was. Her response would be "Oh, I wasn't hungry". Total disregard for the work it takes to make a marriage work. Personally, I think she married me to get out of her parents house. I was 28, she was 24. Plus, she had about $30K in credit card debt when we got married and she never told me. Constant little white lies, I never knew what to believe anymore.

Second marriage, not gonna lie, I married her because I knocked her up and thought it was the right thing to do because of my upbringing. I learned to love her over time. Turns out she was a slob (she used to pay someone to clean her apt before I came over), a former fat person (not that that's bad), and had a host of mental issues. I found all this out during our first year of marriage but I stuck it out for 5 years. She was very unhappy with herself so she took it out on me. She was a very mean person. Finally one night I had enough and snapped, I called her a fat slob (yes, that's all I called her but it was devastating because she also has an eating disorder - not justifying it but she was meaner to me!). When I came home she had binged and purged all over my clothes that were in a pile in the living room floor.

What I learned:
I'm fixed now so no knocking someone up!
I want to see full disclosure of medical records, health and mental.
I want to see their credit report.
I want to know all about their upbringing and any possible hidden issues.
I want to actually watch them clean house so I know they really can (I'm a neat freak so I clean super good).
Have to have sex BEFORE we get married so I know we are compatible.
The list goes on forever!

 

[Smilee21]

First or second?
First - "if" I was lucky I got to rub against her on a Saturday night and got to have sex on special occasions. She refused to go to counseling. Got to a point where she wouldn't even sit on the couch next to me to watch a movie because "it might lead to sex." Imagine that, having sex with your spouse! Emotionally, she was not very giving and supportive either. Whoever had the day off made dinner that night. On her nights it's be 8pm and I'd ask where dinner was. Her response would be "Oh, I wasn't hungry". Total disregard for the work it takes to make a marriage work. Personally, I think she married me to get out of her parents house. I was 28, she was 24. Plus, she had about $30K in credit card debt when we got married and she never told me. Constant little white lies, I never knew what to believe anymore.

Second marriage, not gonna lie, I married her because I knocked her up and thought it was the right thing to do because of my upbringing. I learned to love her over time. Turns out she was a slob (she used to pay someone to clean her apt before I came over), a former fat person (not that that's bad), and had a host of mental issues. I found all this out during our first year of marriage but I stuck it out for 5 years. She was very unhappy with herself so she took it out on me. She was a very mean person. Finally one night I had enough and snapped, I called her a fat slob (yes, that's all I called her but it was devastating because she also has an eating disorder - not justifying it but she was meaner to me!). When I came home she had binged and purged all over my clothes that were in a pile in the living room floor.

What I learned:
I'm fixed now so no knocking someone up!
I want to see full disclosure of medical records, health and mental.
I want to see their credit report.
I want to know all about their upbringing and any possible hidden issues.
I want to actually watch them clean house so I know they really can (I'm a neat freak so I clean super good).
Have to have sex BEFORE we get married so I know we are compatible.
The list goes on forever!

One of my really good friends got married last April a few days before my bday, he and his fianance at the time didn't have sex that often, she lived with her parents until 4months before their marriage so he didn't know what he was getting himself into. Him and I are very very close so we discuss things very openly and freely. He tells me he isn't completely happy with her and if things don't change he is purposely going to cheat so he gets caught and she leaves him. She is a very lazy person, has no ambition, expects to be waited on hand and foot, she doesn't ever please him sexually, she complains it hurts and midway through the Sex she stops, says she is tired and just leaves him hanging. He didn't know this was how things were going to be, if he knew he would never have married her.

He is ready to call it quits and come home. (He isn't a quitter or a cheater either) but doesn't know what to do.

Hearing him talk about how bad it is with her makes me so sad, but I know when he is ready he will do the right thing and file for a divorce.

Makes me wonder why bother getting married, if no one is ever happy... :/

 

[stevenmd]

One of my really good friends got married last April a few days before my bday, he and his fianance at the time didn't have sex that often, she lived with her parents until 4months before their marriage so he didn't know what he was getting himself into. Him and I are very very close so we discuss things very openly and freely. He tells me he isn't completely happy with her and if things don't change he is purposely going to cheat so he gets caught and she leaves him. She is a very lazy person, has no ambition, expects to be waited on hand and foot, she doesn't ever please him sexually, she complains it hurts and midway through the Sex she stops, says she is tired and just leaves him hanging. He didn't know this was how things were going to be, if he knew he would never have married her.

He is ready to call it quits and come home. (He isn't a quitter or a cheater either) but doesn't know what to do.

Hearing him talk about how bad it is with her makes me so sad, but I know when he is ready he will do the right thing and file for a divorce.

Makes me wonder why bother getting married, if no one is ever happy... :/

I believe in marriage. I've just picked the wrong people for the wrong reasons. #1 was due to pressure from my family because I was a single dad. My family has since apologized for the pressure and all has been forgiven. #2, well I knocked her up and thought I was doing the right thing. I would love to get married again because I believe I am the best man I can be when I have a good woman, as proven from the various gf's I've had. Not sure why I never married any of them...

 

[Smilee21]

I believe in marriage. I've just picked the wrong people for the wrong reasons. #1 was due to pressure from my family because I was a single dad. My family has since apologized for the pressure and all has been forgiven. #2, well I knocked her up and thought I was doing the right thing. I would love to get married again because I believe I am the best man I can be when I have a good woman, as proven from the various gf's I've had. Not sure why I never married any of them...

When I marry, I want to only do it once... So I am trying to do things right (whatever right is-lol)