Anyone else having a difficult time being monogamous on TRT?

[transcend2007]

I am on my 2nd marriage. I was faithful for 15 of my 16 year in my first marriage. My x-wife was addicted to prescription pain medication for 8 of those years. Although I did everything possible to get her clean, I failed. I remember thinking to myself about 5 years before it ended “it can’t get any worse than this.” Boy was I wrong! It got way worse and in the 16th year I broke my vow of fidelity. In just over a year I made the decision to file for divorce.

After 2 years of getting divorce I remarried. One year into my 2nd marriage I started HRT/TRT. I feel much better, look much better, and my sex drive has taken a quantum leap from where it was 10 months ago. To be completely honest my 40 something year old wife does not completely share my renewed vigor for sex. I am here to tell you porno is no substitute for sex.

I have never told anyone else (even my closest friends) but I feel a connection with my Maximus brothers and others on TRT. I have found myself going to strip clubs, massage establishments, and even escorts. Did I mention the women at the grocery store, women I meet while traveling, for Christ sakes women nearly anywhere are now all targets for my heat seeking missile.

I am not proud of myself. My question is do you find yourself having a harder (I mean more difficult - ) time saying NO to a sexual opportunity – or even worse actively seeking out other sexual partners? Or, do you have other solutions for a sex drive mismatch? Or, do I need to face the fact that I am a serial cheater?

 

[holepoker]

I hope your wife gives you Herpes.

 

[Hawgslayer]

These are some of those questions that a man has to answer for himself. I have never been married and I don't know if I ever will be. Those who know me well will tell you that I am not the poster child for morality. Bro, I never will advocate cheating and I will never judge those who do. Life is long and we have to make our own decisions in matters of the heart.

I hope that you are able to find peace in your dilema. Best of luck, Bro

 

[j2048b]

throw a bit of cialis in one of her drinks, and hang on bro... your in for a wild sex o rama ride!

she will be billy goat crazzy for that shaft! doing everything u ever wanted her to do... try it, and let us brothers know how it goes, or gets blowed, or destroys her inner workings! let er have it!

 

[CHIP WADOWSKI]

I think you need to ask yourself what exactly or cumulatively allowed you to be faithful for 15 years to the first wife, yet you have not been able to respond the same way to the second wife? There is much more to the makeup of this relationship than just the implementation of testosterone replacement therapy (TRT) into your daily life. But you are right, we are all brothers, here, and hopefully, as hawgslayer said, you can find the answer somewhere within yourself to help you with your "situation". Most of the time, it just takes standing in front of the mirror, "peeling away the layers of the onion", and you'll find the answers that lie beneath, staring right back at you. Good luck bro. Maybe you can fix it before its to late, or maybe you truly enjoy the single life? You will find your answer.

 

[grilla_b]

show me the hottest girl and I'll show you a guy who's tired of banging her.

I think it's normal for guys to look at other chicks and wanna bang'em. Especially if you're married... I think about it all the time lol.

I love to window shop but I'd never cross the line. Lately my sex drive is through the roof and you're right, pron only goes so far... sometimes you just need the real thing.

I've talked to my wife about this and while she's happy having sex like 6 times a year I'm not lol. She gets that and we've been hooking it up a few times a week. I'd probably be hitting it more if we weren't so busy.

I can totally understand where you are coming from... you love your wife but you also can't stop thinking about banging other chicks.

You gotta draw a line and think about what's really important to you. Is dumping your marriage really worth some strange pussy? If it is then you should probably leave your wife and live the single life.

I got a buddy that single and he's always hooking up with chicks but he's a lonely dude.

Grass is always greener... you got married again after a crazy 16 year marriage. You're current wife must mean something to you.

 

[cjw2021]

wrong post

 

[transcend2007]

Thanks guys! I agree that Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) is not responsible for my situation. It would be easy to make excuses and avoid the real issue.

With that said there are many differences in a man in his 40’s as opposed to a 20 something dating with little experience. Now I find I have the resources, confidence, and sexual skills I lacked back in the day.

The attraction for me is to have my cake and eat her too! There is also something to be said about living on the edge and going over the line. I have had some of the best sex of my life in the past few months specifically because there is a high level of risk involved.

I am aware where there is risk there is also the potential for great loss. And sooner or later the chickens are going to come home to roost. I know it’s high time to consider the path I have chosen more carefully.

I am sure there are others facing these same difficult decisions and we must each live with our choices and be able to look at ourselves in the mirror every morning. I'd be interested in hearing how others are dealing with this moral dilemma.

 

[cjw2021]

Well obviously this is haunting you to some degree. I personally would not cheat on someone I had a monogamous relationship with. I mean you guys can go on and on about how horny you are...but if you beat it up 2x a week for 1-2 hours raw i highly doubt anyone here needs much more than that. And sex everyday isn't healthy for me, I know that. Go work out or something. Personally I think that guys that cheat have too much time on their hands. I mean it's one thing I guess if your wife doesn't give you sex anymore, but if she's putting out 1-2x a week and u think you need more than that I think it's in your head. Do what you please though, I don't know your entire situation. All I know is I would never pay someone to have sex with me knowing how dirty those girls can be. Condom sex doesn't do anything for me anyway. I guess it depends on your relationship with this girl. If you actively despise her and she isn't open to you or willing to give you sex 1-2x a week regularly then I don't necessarily blame you.

I've banged random ass off the internet to know that I'd rather have a bond with someone than to just search for all the holes I can find. A lot of this is just psychology. The more sex you have the more often, the faster your dopamine-adrenaline conversions speeds up and your bad prostaglandins increase to make you even hornier all the time. If you are looking at porn the same thing happens. I don't even look at porn anymore because it elevates my stress hormones so high that when I go to have sex the next day I cum too quick, which I normally don't do. All that affects your psyche. You can either be a slave to your sex drive and wind up with VD and giving it to your partner or you can get control over yourself and be honest with yourself and your partner, provided she's willing to give you sex twice a week. Having sex with a condom on does not relieve any sexual tension, just like your hand doesn't.

Life is too short to get some nasty disease from some escort for 5 minutes of false joy. Personally I can't stand strip clubs either. I can't stand getting teased by whores that are paid to tease guys and take their money.

Until you figure out how to properly relieve sexual tension by opening up the hormone neurotransmitter exchange...probably the most outlandish thing I've posted, you gotta fuck for 30 min+ straight in a relaxed position without a condom then bust a nut inside her...and that will drain the sexual tension by opening the neurotransmitter/hormone exchange between the sex organs. Otherwise you are going to be a constant horn dog watching porn and chasing whores in plastic. been there done that not good. i really dont have time to play a bunch of girls at once considering ive got too many responsibilities as it is.

 

[Motiv8ed]

I will be married for 18 years next month to the hottest girl I've ever been with. She looks like a fitness model. She's got an ass you can bounce a quarter off of, and a beautiful face. She works out constantly and has never stopped for more than a few weeks since we've been married. To this day I am still extremely attracted to her. She is an absolute hardbody and can run circles around me due to her conditioning. I'm madly in love with her and I have never quit chasing her around the house. And she has never said "I have a headache." Not even once. Plus, she is so damn nice to me and completely supportive of anything I want to do, including Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT). She gets a kick out of the fact that I'm always walking around with a boner. It's become a bit of a game with us. A playful game.

Having said all that, I can say without a doubt that since going on Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) (with the correct dosages) my libido has me daydreaming about every hot chick I see. But my wife means everything to me. So I always think before I act. And I always come up with the same conclusion. A 30 minute ride ain't worth losing the most fantastic woman I have ever met.

 

[TR90125]

In my case, Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) significantly improved my feelings towards my wife.

To the OP, is your issue with the wife quantity, quality or both? What is the gap right now between how often you want and how often she is willing?

There are a lot of different ways to manage through it if you are so inclined. I would be somewhat surprised if your wife wasn't more attracted to you now than she was pre-HRT. If she isn't, that is a problem.

I would say your biggest issue right now is that you have already crossed the line of fidelity. I am not judging you, just saying sometimes it is hard to go back.

Last but not least, I applaud you for having the faith in most of us to share your concerns on this forum. It is always real easy to break out the soap box and codemn people to hell, but the reality is everyone is wired differently and we ALL live in glass houses.

 

[TR2838]

I feel your pain bro.. I'm one of those guys who look but don't touch.. I knock on wood saying that because I know I'm only one bad decision away from any impulse that could have lifelong ramifications..
On a side note: the doctor I went to before I hooked up w/ chip treated a lot of women w/ TRT.. He said Low T is more common in women than in men, due to years of Birth control meds and some other factors.. You might want to have her get some lab work
done..

 

[cjw2021]

agree. put a woman on testosterone replacement (within her range) and she will become a total nympho. worth considering getting her hormones checked.

 

[MoparMuscle]

Have you talked to her about this? Seems like the place to start to me.

 

[MeatHead96]

Thanks for all the input on this thread guys. This is just what I needed to read today. I have a girlfriend that I am very happy with and will always have sex with me but I absolutely can not stop constantly thinking about screwing other women. Its all day long. I've been with her almost a year and a half and sometimes I wonder how you married guys do it. With that said I am more in love with her than I have ever been with anyone in my life. I don't want to leave her but I am plagued with my desire for other females. I will not cheat on her as she is the most important person in my life and I couldn't hurt her. I do not judge others but I do urge you to take a look at yourself and question if you are truly happy with the life you are leading.

 

[IZZOT]

Transcend-
I can feel for you as well. Been married 22 years and chase my wife around all the time but can only get her to surrender 2-3 times per week. The testosterone replacement therapy (TRT) gives us the drive like when we were younger. You have to redirect that massive energy into other things like working out, doing more than expected at work, open a small business, pick up a musical instrument,or the best one-start dating your wife again like when you first met her. Use the energy to transform your life and do the things you wanted to do when you were younger. testosterone replacement therapy (TRT) isnt all about sex ( but you gotta love it ) its about feeling younger and DOING something with it!
Good luck Bro-

 

[TR90125]

For any of you, married or dating, that feel your frequency is lower than you would like, would you say that in your relationship you are an Alpha Male? If you have to think about it for more than one second, answer "No".

 

[MoparMuscle]

For any of you, married or dating, that feel your frequency is lower than you would like, would you say that in your relationship you are an Alpha Male? If you have to think about it for more than one second, answer "No".

100% the Alpha for my household and I'm treated as such by the wife, always have been. Makes for a happy life. I know familys were the wife is the clear Alpha and the guy is a beta. Works great also for some. Just because your a guy does not mean your the alpha of a family unit, it's the same in nature (some wolf packs have female alphas).

 

[transcend2007]

Overall some excellent comments and things to consider. I am going to concentrate on converting some my sexual energy into other productive endeavors, ie my business, the gym, and conscentrating on making my wife my priority #1. I have not been doing that any where close to what she deserves.

 

[TR90125]

Overall some excellent comments and things to consider. I am going to concentrate on converting some my sexual energy into other productive endeavors, ie my business, the gym, and conscentrating on making my wife my priority #1. I have not been doing that any where close to what she deserves.

Good luck and keep us posted.

If you don't mind me asking, what was the sex like with your current wife early in your dating career?