Experience, Strength, and Hope

[Hrnyfckr]

I'd really love to hear from my sobros!
I'm 9 months sober... My sobriety date is 2/14/14.
I have a sponsor... My sponsor has a sponsor.
My sponsor is also a body builder.
At his suggestion I had to end my cycle when I started working the steps. It was hell, to be honest, but ultimately good for me. I was using roids to aquire a confidence that I thought I didn't have. I lost 40 lbs of muscle and had to face my body dismorphia and my inner shortcomings, and deal with a six month loss of my sex drive. I'm really happy now in sobriety and maybe for the first time ever... I saw an endo, hoping to get TRT... But lo luck... My test levels have recovered to exactly where they're supposed to be for a man of my age. (53 years btw). My sex drive and function are back in full force.
I'm coming to find out that people really like me... And it has nothing to do with what I look like... I'm becoming more open and kind and gentle.... All good things for me. I now am experiencing an inner confidence that I could not have before imagined.
I love body building and my sponsor says I can do whatever I want (within reason) in terms of cycling when I have a year sober. I recently aquired HGH which I will start soon (since it takes months to build up and do it's thing and it is not at all mind or mood altering) And I'll add the roids back when I get my year... I'm thinking 200/test with 200/tren.
One of the main character defects revealed in my 4th step is arrogance... It's really my "go to" when I'm in fear or resentment. I'm really liking the humble man that I get to be in sobriety, however... I don't wanna muck up what I now have... Or sidetrack the man I get to be today!
I'm not looking for advise here as much as I want to hear the experience, strength, and hope of my sobros.
PM me if you prefer to stay anonymous on Ology.

 

[3J]

what are your test levels??/

 

[hiram1st]

I'd really love to hear from my sobros!
I'm 9 months sober... My sobriety date is 2/14/14.
I have a sponsor... My sponsor has a sponsor.
My sponsor is also a body builder.
At his suggestion I had to end my cycle when I started working the steps. It was hell, to be honest, but ultimately good for me. I was using roids to aquire a confidence that I thought I didn't have. I lost 40 lbs of muscle and had to face my body dismorphia and my inner shortcomings, and deal with a six month loss of my sex drive. I'm really happy now in sobriety and maybe for the first time ever... I saw an endo, hoping to get TRT... But lo luck... My test levels have recovered to exactly where they're supposed to be for a man of my age. (53 years btw). My sex drive and function are back in full force.
I'm coming to find out that people really like me... And it has nothing to do with what I look like... I'm becoming more open and kind and gentle.... All good things for me. I now am experiencing an inner confidence that I could not have before imagined.
I love body building and my sponsor says I can do whatever I want (within reason) in terms of cycling when I have a year sober. He suggests 300/test per week with 4iu/HGH per day. I recently aquired the HGH which I will start soon (since it takes months to build up and do it's thing and it is not at all mind or mood altering) And I'll add the roids back when I get my year... I'm thinking 200/test with 200/tren... A good compromise.
One of the main character defects revealed in my 4th step is arrogance... It's really my "go to" when I'm in fear or resentment. I'm really liking the humble man that I get to be in sobriety, however... I don't wanna muck up what I now have... Or sidetrack the man I get to be today!
I'm not looking for advise here as much as I want to hear the experience, strength, and hope of my sobros.
PM me if you prefer to stay anonymous on Ology.

Good luck with your sobriety brother.

"It works if you work it"

From what I hear stick around and do what they do and you'll get what they have

 

[Hrnyfckr]

On 7/17/14:
Total: 283.8 (range: 348 - 1197)
Free: 4.2. (Range: 7.2 - 24)

On 10/17/14
Total: 376. (Range: 348-1179)
Free: 7.3. (Range: 7.2 - 24)

Reference range for >50 yrs: 193-740
I'm 53 yrs old

 

[carverelli]

Stay the course bro. Overcoming addition can be super empowering. Definitely try and maintain the humbleness you've found. Greatness and humility when found together is magnetic.

I wish you the best. Don't let us down...you can do it!!

 

[PrinceDianabol]

Good on you brother! Best of luck

 

[Buzzbait]

I'm totally digging this post. Keep us updated brother and good luck

 

[Austinite]

Congrats, young man. Last drink in 2002 here... Life is good.

 

[Chicago712]

Keep coming back, got a little over 4 years clean... I've however steered away from meetings and the fellowship..but I know that it does work and has saved tons of lives.. and it's awesome to see you actually working the steps, re member the programs in the steps, the fellowship is just the fellowship..
And honesty is the best policy... definitely good to be upfront about your steroid use.. a drug is a drug

 

[Rythm]

Good for you! This post really caught my attention due to the fact I got sober 3/5/02. Because you were completely honest and upfront with your sponsor tells me you are all in which is exactly what we need to do.

 

[Teutonic]

very good job man

I quit drinking 10 ? yr s ago simply as alcohol is useless...completely useless except as a swab.

Really can t to anything as Im an extremist and so forth..even post surgery pain meds are out. Awesome post

 

[shanej]

Good post congragulation on your will power. Good luck .

 

[Flynman]

Congratulations!! I would go with just test at say 250-300wk for a while and see how that works for you. I am 52 on TRT and when my levels get down around 250-300 I feel a little sluggish and sex drive goes down. My doctor now tries to keep them in the 600-700 range and I feel much better. Sobriety is the most important thing and then work on the outer body. Going to the gym and feeling fit is going to help the mental aspect almost as much as the Sobriety.

 

[cybrsage]

I have found that getting my body in shape has actually helped me to not drink. Alcohol is very good for fat and estrogen creation - neither of which I want! I just picture 3J (though honestly, I have no clue what he looks like), waggling a finger at me and saying "you get out of it what you put into it".

Let ology be your higher power, it works.