after i read this it made me think a lot about the reasons people use aas...so many different people & reasons why. but honestly i feel like there are two main groups your either in one or the other...and ATHLETE, or an ADDICT. for the latter, it could be aas or anything else under the sun...once your health bottoms out and you start listening, and restoring your health...the next step for you would be to seek mental therapy or join a support group for addicts. best of luck in your recovery bro.