need some dating advice

[chelsea]

For the past two years Ive been having a relationhip with my trainer. It was one of those relationships that clearly wasnt going anywhere but it gave us both companionship. The problem is that since Ive gotten bigger I dont seem to get asked out as much. Today a guy who used to want to date me for years {16 years to be exact from high school to a year ago}told me I was no longer his type and that most men in general dont want to date a girl who looks stronger and and in some cases have bigger muscles then they do. Anyhow, my relationship with my trainer needs to end because its going nowhere, I really dont like dating but need to or I will be single forever. How do those of you here who are single go about dating when you are pretty muscular? Im really not sure how to get a date now which is a weird situation for me to be in. It seems like even the guys in the gym are more interested in meeting for a workout than hanging out afterwards or getting together outside the club. I assume I need to date a rather muscular man who wouldnt feel inferior and have his own confidence. However they all seem to date the skinny little women, Anyone in my shoes have any dating tips? Chelsea
PS> I am not really that big, 5'6", 125 lbs and I like myself at this weight.

 

[Milhouse]

I just been going thru the different sectiona and came in here for the first time so I hope you ladies dont mind me throwing my 2 cents in here

Chelsea I think that you sound like you are lonely(nothing wrong with that)and that because of this you are willing to settle for less than you deserve.

What do you deserve? well thats something you will have to find out for yourself.

Meaning which yes you will have to date to find that person but maybe you should loosen up trying to find someone and just date different people, eventually you will bump into that person who you click with and them with you. As far as finding someone bigger well may be the person you will click with wont even be someone who works out, and you know what if you love hi and he loves you that wont matter as it will open both of you up to different worlds and interests.

But if you are not willing to go out and meet people and actually date many people and go thru the tedious bullshit how will you ever know what you want/dont want.

As far as your trainer goes, well sounds like he needs the boot personally and professionally as both those situationa arent going to mesh without the other. Sorry but thats the bottom line

 

[chelsea]

Milhouse,
I think you have a point. Its just been a rough week. My son is away for summer visitation with his dad so my house is pretty quiet which is unusual. Then combine that with ending the situation with my trainer who I probably need to stop working out with and then just coming off a cycle Im probably a little hormonal to top it all off. It just seems I used to have a lot more dating options. Although I dont really like going out at night Im going to out with the girls tonight so we will see how that goes. Chelsea

 

[DADAWG]

something to consider is that most of the guys in the gym know about you and the trainer . some of them may change their intentions after you are unattached .

 

[rubberduckyo]

Meaning which yes you will have to date to find that person but maybe you should loosen up trying to find someone and just date different people, eventually you will bump into that person who you click with and them with you. As far as finding someone bigger well may be the person you will click with wont even be someone who works out, and you know what if you love hi and he loves you that wont matter as it will open both of you up to different worlds and interests.

Excellent advice, Millie.

BTW...welcome to the Femme Forum.

 

[rubberduckyo]

Chelsea, slow down and take it easy girl. There's no hurry to find "mr. right". I've always said NO-ONE can be truly happy in any relationship untill they are happy by themselves. No guy is gonna walk in and *poof* you are happy. When you are secure in your own skin and happy with where you are as a person, you will eventually meet someone who interests you, challenges you, "completes you" (yeah, that was cheesy but you get my drift).

Hang in there, hun, and in the meantime just have some fun!

 

[chelsea]

I decided to tell my trainer I was going to work with him 2 more weeks and then I plan to start working out at another gym that I went to look at yesterday. That should make things a lot easier. Ive been pondering the situation with my trainer for a while now so atleast Ive finally done something. Just a lot of changes at once.. trainer, son away for 2 weeks with his dad for summer vacation, and roommate got a job transfer out of state. Im not used to so much time alone. I'll adjust and just get myself out more and see what happens. Chelsea

 

[chidoks]

5'6 @ 125lbs isnt big... if a guy tells u that u are too big for him especially at that size, he's probably not someone u want to date... Any guy who says that is definitely insecure... I'd think that a lot more guys would be attracted to your size... i know i am

 

[chicmuscle]

Chelsea, slow down and take it easy girl. There's no hurry to find "mr. right". I've always said NO-ONE can be truly happy in any relationship untill they are happy by themselves. No guy is gonna walk in and *poof* you are happy. When you are secure in your own skin and happy with where you are as a person, you will eventually meet someone who interests you, challenges you, "completes you" (yeah, that was cheesy but you get my drift).

Hang in there, hun, and in the meantime just have some fun!

Amen,,, thats why i rather be single. or is it that i want to be? anyways, i must me happy with myself then i can truely love others. do you see what im saying. nicely said rducky

chichy

 

[chelsea]

I know, I always felt that way myself when I was younger. Im now 36 so Im ready to have some companionship but Im not in so much of a hurry. THink I was having a bad day when I originally posted. Chelsea

 

[buffdiggity]

I'm afraid I'll need naked pictures to assess the validity of your complaint!

5'6 125? That's a great size.

Do yourself a favor. Never make your bed at your gym or your place of employment....nothing but dissaster awaits if it doesn't work out.

Assuming the naked pictures look like the one I have in my mind, if you're still hell bent on dating a guy from the gym, you can come up to MI and train at my gym and ask me out!

 

[chelsea]

Thanks Buff, Im afraid you will have to come to Dallas to assess that. I dont have any naked pics and Michigan is pretty far away. Chelsea

 

[buffdiggity]

I'm actually coming to Irvin for Thanksgiving to watch the Cowboys play. We can take some pictures then.

 

[chelsea]

Let me know when you get here.

 

[chicmuscle]

I know, I always felt that way myself when I was younger. Im now 36 so Im ready to have some companionship but Im not in so much of a hurry. THink I was having a bad day when I originally posted. Chelsea

its okay that you posted it. its a good situation that needs to be addressed not only for you but for all ladies who want to get into a relationship and take the first guy that comes along who potentially could be a ass-face, or a guy that is not for them. sometime i wonder too. but between by family thinking that im a lesbian because i havnt dated and my friends saying that i have to, im feeling that maybe im wrong. even my best friend keeps on hounding me about getting a boyfriend. my other friends keep trying to set me up with a guy, but i cant articulate enough how i feel on the inside. im just not ready. im not truely happy with myself yet. but also, your further along in life than i, im 20. so, what do i know about a 36 year young womans needs at that point? im just throwing my 2 cent around.

chichy

 

[chicmuscle]

Let me know when you get here.

LOL!!!

chichy

 

[shootoking03]

Chelsea. Why does he have to be big? Have some confidence, you can look strong and everything and have a smaller guy. Just gotta have confidence in yourself. I personally think a muscular girl is sexy as hell..

 

[pits]

Chelsea, hey from a fellow Dallasite.
A guy can have an inferiority complex no matter how big he is, you just need to find guy that is comfortable with himself. It is all a matter of what you are attracted to, go for what you want, wheather it be skinny, big, short, tall, whatever. I personally don't like the skinny type girls, I respect a woman that works out and has muscle, because I know it took dedication to do so, you sound like the perfect size to me. You definitely have to get out there also, a new gym is a great idea, I have always had good luck at the gym and you know Dallas has a great nightlife.

pits

 

[chicmuscle]

chelsea,
how are you feeling know that youve been off deca for a bit? are you out of the "off cycle depression"?

chichy

 

[chelsea]

Yes, Im back to my old self. Although I didnt gain that much weight I felt like I looked a lot bigger. I did get a little bigger, like my bicep is a good 1/4" bigger than it was and my quad is a good 1/2" bigger but I keep thinking that I look smaller. Its a total mind f*** when you go off stuff. Chelsea