Thanksgiving backyard football turns to war...

[joliver]

Well, its my least favorite family tradition...everyone comes over, drinks all of my booze, and proposes a backyard football game. Don't let the flags in the belt fool you, the first chance anyone has an open shot, you get lit up. Good news--we have enough for 7 on 7.

I usually sit it out, because nobody likes a picked sweater. BUT, my sister brought her new boyfriend. What a dick, I tell ya. He is one of those guys who is a "one upper." Forgivable...but he said my son looked like Forrest Gump. Now, Tom Hanks, if you are on the board--I don't think you are ugly. If he would have said he looked like Captain Miller (Tom hanks character from Saving Private Ryan), it would have been a compliment. BUT--I think one of my guests in my home just called my boy a retard with a mouth full of my food. Everyone just laughed and laughed..."OH HE IS SO FUNNY AND CHARMING!!! Finally she brought home a nice boy..." Uh huh.

So that brings me to the present: Everyone is suiting up. I came in to shoot you guys a quick note wishing you all a Happy Thanksgiving, and to find my cheque drops. He may be a nice boy, but he is still a boy.

If you don't hear from me for a few years, look for me in the new prison powerlifting documentary.

 

[snowpatrol123]

Happy american thanksgiving! Go tackle his head off

 

[joliver]

My brother, who is no physical slouch at 6ft and 210, smashed him two plays into the game. It turned out to be a 10 minute game before the sober women stopped the onslaught. I love the holidays...

In Alabama, reading and writing may come hard, but football seems to be a character trait of most of us.

Roll Tide!

Now, on to the Iron Bowl. Now I need my ology brothers to declare some allegiance so I know who to put on perma-flame status.

ALABAMA or auburn.

Let me hear it.

 

[barnzy7]

haha this was great

 

[joliver]

It actually is great. I was wanting a new tv. Now I have a reason to get one.

 

[Metalhead]

It actually is great. I was wanting a new tv. Now I have a reason to get one.

Did you break your tv after the 4th missed field goal or the 109 yard return?? hell of a game

Oh and WAR EAGLE

 

[joliver]

Did you break your tv after the 4th missed field goal or the 109 yard return?? hell of a game

Oh and WAR EAGLE

I punched the auburn player on the last play as he broke the plane. He broke the plane...I broke the TV. Cade Foster was a shitty kicker in the beginning of his career--and he was in the end...ashes to ashes, dust to dust.

See you in Tuscaloosa next year....

 

[joliver]

...and yes, it was a hell of a game. Auburn seems to have some sort of divine destiny.

 

[Metalhead]

I punched the auburn player on the last play as he broke the plane. He broke the plane...I broke the TV. Cade Foster was a shitty kicker in the beginning of his career--and he was in the end...ashes to ashes, dust to dust.

See you in Tuscaloosa next year....

Lol I've been there. Except mine was guitar hero mixed with jack daniels and my flat screen somehow blocked the wall when the guitar went flyimg.

 

[Metalhead]

...and yes, it was a hell of a game. Auburn seems to have some sort of divine destiny.

That is definitely the truth. They have some luck

 

[joliver]

Lol I've been there. Except mine was guitar hero mixed with jack daniels and my flat screen somehow blocked the wall when the guitar went flyimg.

Ha ha ha ha! Usually, Jack is my partner in crime in these sorts of shenanigans...but this one is on me. Mea Culpa....ha ha ha!

 

[DreDay187]

Sorry a metalhead but....ROLL FUCKING TIDE

 

[freakmentality]

You usually sit out.... cmon man. The backyard football game is better than the thanksgiving spread.