Bad situation help a bro out!!!!

[ontopthegame85]

Ok here goes I had a great GF who loved me a lot we been together for about 7 months an everything been great.I then lost my mother the person who was closest to me on 5/31.Lets back track a little more I have a son with another girl who I been on and off with for 6 years.Before my mom passed I been fighting with my sons mother because she does not like my GF.She kept my son from me and my family and my mother passed with out seeing my son 6 months prior.Well one week after my mothers passing my grandmother down in south fl got sick and Im the last family she has so I was had to go help her get situated and better.Well my sons mother also lives south beach she moved there 2 months prior to my mothers death.Well being down there she knew how hard this was affecting me and came and seen me.Well of course like dumb ass I wound up hooking up with her.I then decided to break up with my other GF move to fl to be with my son.I just for some reason can't move on and love her like she loves me.I still love miss the other GF and feel like I only did this to be able to be with my son.I feel like if I leave her I will never see him again and just end up hurting him more then anything.What should one do

 

[ontopthegame85]

My x still loves and wants me back.She knows I made a bad choice but I feel like to many feelings are in this now and that I truly will never love my child's mother like I once did and I'm living a lie

 

[halfwit]

Honestly, I would go see a family psychologist and counselor. It's never easy when kids are in the picture and you owe it to him to at least figure out what you truly feel and want in life. Bouncing in and out of his life because you're undecided is never healthy for kids, but neither is having a parent withholding visitation. You guys have some relationship issues to work out and see if you can make things work. Sadly, they don't always go the way we want them to, and you may end up needing a clean break. This is where the counselor comes in handy as they may be able to help both of you understand how to make this an amiable split for the both of you.

Who knows, you may find that you have feelings for the mother of your child and decide to remain with her for the rest of your lives. The human heart is a curious thing and can take a long time to understand what it wants.

My .02c

 

[ontopthegame85]

It's such a bad situation because if I told her how I felt it would be get the fuck out the house and your a pos dad(not true).This why I feel I can never truly love her.

 

[halfwit]

It's such a bad situation because if I told her how I felt it would be get the fuck out the house and your a pos dad(not true).This why I feel I can never truly love her.

First off, you can't tell her how you feel point blank because as you've said you're confused in this area. It's a very hurtful thing to tell someone that you're not in love with them and that will most certainly cause some problems you don't want right now. You seriously need intervention with a professional as they can help you discover not only how you feel and if need be, how to communicate this properly.

Believe it or not, it might be something as simple as your living conditions that you've associated with her making you feel this way. I have a very close friend that almost got a divorce from his wife of 20 years because she woke up one day and thought she was no longer in love with him. Turns out she was just extremely burned out from work/kids/life and needed to defuse the situation as she had started blaming him for all these things that were truly not his fault. After a couple months of counseling, they are stronger than ever and are happy once again.

This might not be your case, but you owe it to your son to at least investigate this possibility.

 

[ontopthegame85]

Yea your right I do because I can't do this to him again.Like you said bouncing in and out his life.

 

[halfwit]

Yea your right I do because I can't do this to him again.Like you said bouncing in and out his life.

It's at least worth a shot. If I felt that way about my wife, I'd at least try to work things out first as we have a little girl. That's not the case for me, but I do feel that kids should always come first.

Good luck to you!

 

[Ageek]

If I were you I would do everything in my power to make it work. For your son's sake. I don't care what other people's opinions are on this subject, but the fact is kids need both parents and develop alot healthier and better if both parents are in the picture.

The little guy didn't ask to be brought into the world, you got him here, make sure he has a chance to grow up in a healthy way. You had feelings for your son's mom at one point, just think what brought you to her originally and make it work. Sometimes we have to set our own feelings aside for the betterment of somebody else (your child).

I was in the same position as you, and I made it work, and I don't regret it and I grew closer and closer with my son. The alternative is being a part time dad, being resented by your kid, and eventually getting replaced by a "new" dad. On top of the kid going through emotional problems.

People will tell you to put your feelings etc. ahead of your kids and anything else. I will tell you the opposite, because it's the right thing to do.

 

[ontopthegame85]

I decided to put his feelings first and make it work.As for the other girl I guess we have no ties and the feelings will go away.If I go back I will be 10 hours away from my son and that would eat me alive