i'm really young i'm only 22 years old, but i am a war veteran. i served 3 years in one of Israel's top, and THE most highly decorated special ops recon unit of what's known as the "Golani Brigade". i was in last summers Israel vs Hamas war, Operation Protective Edge and in a 2012 operation also against hamas called Operation Pillar of Defense as well as many other smaller assignments we had.
needles to say i saw lots of action and heart wrenching tragedy all before the age of 21. i was going to sign another year in the army and go to officer school along with many members of my team but i ended up getting injured, needed multiple surgeries on my hand, my physical score was lowered, and i was honorably discharged.
things have recently been heating up here in Israel as some of you may know, so i've been feeling extremely guilty that i cant still be in the army with my boys protecting my country.
anyway i am currently doing 700mg tren ace a week, 300mg masteron prop a week, and 175mg test cyp a week. and just the other night i had a dream where i was like floating above a gun battle watching it, seeing specific people from my squad (who are still serving) getting shot, blown up, run over by tanks, getting kidnapped... everything. i just remember watching all that i couldnt do anything and i kept screaming and crying "that should have been me!!! that should have been me!!!". i woke up drenched in sweat, kicking, and screaming. good thing my girlfriend wasnt sleeping over that night otherwise she would be horrified. she knows i have a tiny bit of PTSD where i get nightmares and flashbacks sometimes but all that causes is mild anxiety and insomnia.. nothing major. doctors prescribed me klonopin to combat that when i need it.
the reason why i was screaming "that should have been me" is because if i hadn't been discharged i would still be doing the same things i was doing. i was a wreck when they told me i was getting discharged but my family was somewhat secretly happy. they said i've seen enough action, served my country in the highest possible form, and now its time to call it quits and 'pass the torch', for lack of a better term. they believe in the whole "everything happens for a reason" crap, and said that maybe god wanted me to get injured, so that i can get discharged because maybe in that 1 year extra that i was gonna sign as an officer, my time was gonna come.
i've had a lot of tren dreams on the subject but never this bad... PTSD night terrors are bad enough.. then combined with tren? forget about it..
a few weeks ago i had another dream of a 13 year old palestinian terrorist chasing after me in the streets with a knife, stabbing people along the way, but chasing me specifically. its actually sad because this has been happening a lot in israel, and could actually very well be a reality.
and megatron, i know you think i'm always a troll but i actually rarely am. but this is definitely not a troll post. this is my life. please have some respect for me by not deleting this post. thank you