If you are not going to listen and you are not going to run test, run eq or eq Winstrol (winny). Run about 600mg of eq for about 12 weeks and some Winstrol (winny) the last 6. Now remember any steroid is going to shut you down in some degree, and if you are not taking test their is a possibility that you will feel the symptoms even when on. From what i have read over the years keeping estrogen low to moderate throughout a cycle makes recovery easier, so by taking eq and Winstrol (winny) you may not have a bad recovery. If your test levels suck now, chances are you are going to be fucked again when you come off, so i would first try to get back to normal and stay their for a while before doing any more cycles. Personally if i were you i would run a low dose of test, eq and maybe some winny.