My wife is leaving me. Would appreciate some advice.

[jrl0022]

She reminded me that drinking was bad for my health and then I reminded her to fuck off.
That's fucking classic.

 

[Libra Guardian]

I hope everything works out for you. I'm 33 years old, been married 10 years. We separated for 6 months about 5 years ago. I almost feel like being separated for any longer gives you too much time to drift apart. I was in the same position as you, I just wanted her back so bad - I was probably a little too pushy and overbearing. One thing I did that I felt really helped was that i called her dad, mom, and two brothers and just told them that I loved their daughter/sister so much, and that I'd do anything for her. I notice now that there's some things about me that i need to change, but that I was sorry for not giving their daughter/sister happiness. I even called her best friend. I think that was the thing that really helped. But in your situation it does seem like she's relaxing a bit, and maybe you should too. If she doesn't want to talk about it, maybe she'd get upset if you called her family. Just show her by example that you can be a great father and husband. Any changes you make have to be for life, if you do them just to get back with her she will see right through it. Good luck, be patient, and listen to what she says. If she doesn't want to talk about it, then maybe just wait to talk until she's ready. Just be there for her. Oh, and set up some shelves for her!!! Lol.

 

[juced_porkchop]

So this last weekend my wife and I were out celebrating a friends birthday and we got a little drunk, we started arguing a little bit and I walked away saying, "I dont wanna be with you." I meant right then at that moment. So that we wouldn't fight anymore. She thought I meant be with her at all. Now a little background. I have not been a very good husband lately. I have been very emotionally neglectful. I get upset when she criticizes me instead of just listening so she stop saying stuff to me cause I would get upset. This has been going on for a long time. I never thought it bugged her that much. I just thought she was stressed out cause she just started school full time again. So between working full time and school full time and raising our 1 year old i thought she was just stressed. I admit this is all my fault. I do stupid stuff like that and then I say things out of anger when we get into fights. I never mean those things we all say stuff we dont mean. I am on my first cycle and I did this plenty of times before so it isnt gear. I love her more than anything and do not want to lose her but she is so attiment(sp?) about leaving. WHAT CAN I DO? I keep telling her that i will change. And I will. But she says i have been given to many chances and dont deserve another. I know i can change and will. I have been doing a lot of soul searching on how to change and why i was acting that way and i have realized how precious she is to me and I love her so much. Any input would help me out. I just dont want to lose my wife.

Your egoic mind is ruining your life. check this out and listen cd1-7 :
CD 1 Tracks 1 to 4 - The Power of NOW - Eckhart Tolle.wmv <--youtube name

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLS1Q20P0IXg2SL33Pv6q0BfropaTJ9OrN <- play list

 

[SicVic]

Buy her something Expensive. Can't go wrong with that.

 

[DCLive95]

So this last weekend my wife and I were out celebrating a friends birthday and we got a little drunk, we started arguing a little bit and I walked away saying, "I dont wanna be with you." I meant right then at that moment. So that we wouldn't fight anymore. She thought I meant be with her at all. Now a little background. I have not been a very good husband lately. I have been very emotionally neglectful. I get upset when she criticizes me instead of just listening so she stop saying stuff to me cause I would get upset. This has been going on for a long time. I never thought it bugged her that much. I just thought she was stressed out cause she just started school full time again. So between working full time and school full time and raising our 1 year old i thought she was just stressed. I admit this is all my fault. I do stupid stuff like that and then I say things out of anger when we get into fights. I never mean those things we all say stuff we dont mean. I am on my first cycle and I did this plenty of times before so it isnt gear. I love her more than anything and do not want to lose her but she is so attiment(sp?) about leaving. WHAT CAN I DO? I keep telling her that i will change. And I will. But she says i have been given to many chances and dont deserve another. I know i can change and will. I have been doing a lot of soul searching on how to change and why i was acting that way and i have realized how precious she is to me and I love her so much. Any input would help me out. I just dont want to lose my wife.

Find a good Marriage Counselor(not anyone old..someone who can relate) and go every week. You will be surprised how much it helps. I've been going for almost 3 years and things are going pretty well. I never would have guessed 3 years ago..Give it a try!

 

[jrl0022]

Buy her something Expensive. Can't go wrong with that.

Fuck that noise. Save ur money and let some doctorate student counsel you for free.

 

[VengeanceX7]

Haha ok a little update. it has been over 2 months now. She is still living here with me, and sleeping in the same bed. She doesnt kiss me or tell me she loves me, she hasnt even put her ring back on. We have had sex once because we agreed we needed it. Things seem to get better everyday and she relys on me for stuff all the time and she thinks about me when she goes out shopping and gets me stuff. Its a long road and ill keep going down it just hope she comes around. She obviously isnt going anywhere she makes alot of future plans with me and says things like "rest of your life" just hope within a couple more months the ring goes back on and the i loves yous kisses and sex start again. I dont know how patient i really can be. I have been going to counseling and its been helping have a lot shorter temper and i am able to listen to her before speaking and make sure the things i say are respectful to her and only help her and help us.

 

[kaname]

Sounds like things are turning around, glad to hear. Keep up with the counseling. It sounds like 1 on 1 sessions, am I right or does she go as well with you? If not do you think she is open to marriage counseling? At any rate keep at it, don't give up until it is over and you won't know until it is. You put in the time making it to marriage might as well put in the time holding on to it.

<~~And this is coming from the guy who is quick to throw in the towel when it comes to emotional things. I've thrown my wedding ring across the room a number of times. Lucky for me my wife is stronger than I am in that area. Keep at it man.

 

[SolomonGrundy]

show her you're committed to the family life more than your own interest, use words that dont criticize her and hope she give you the time to show action. life's tough with a baby, offer some help, and offer to give her alone time.

 

[Dreaded Pirate Roberts]

Son It sounds like her and her mother and sisters got together and planned to "make you pay" I too have had a few of these experiences. If She didn't move out she wasn't going any where. You have children women don't move on easily when children are involved. Go get the book his needs her needs. Read it. When she is ready to fix things provide her with a copy. It very helpful. It will give you a nice road map of barebones needs. Someone times it's what it takes to get your needs met.

I applaud your commitment to your family. Even better is that your Family gave you a good foundation when things got tough you turned to the lord. I have to say I'm very impressed with the group of gentlemen who supported you in this. When you first arrived here no doubt you were told to make friends and hang out that this was a good place to have friends. Keep fighting the good fight. Your family is worth it.

 

[underpsi]

kind of a hard subject caus most of us have been there. here's my take. you need counseling. if she's not willing then walk. period. she's not for you dude. we all make mistakes, it's how they are dealt with. she's not willing to deal with it, work on it and grow then she's really not in for the long haul. find someone who is.

 

[scientific nick]

Do things for her. It is hard to be mad at someone who makes you feel so good. Do you guys still sleep in the same bed? If so, rub her back while shes sleeping or run your fingers through her hair, whisper that you love her. Clean the house, cook her dinner, bring her flowers, be unnaturally outgoing. Never show her an ounce of anger. Don't beg. Don't ask. Don't wine. Just do.

 

[scientific nick]

By the way, everyone. Bravo to a bunch of guys who really don't know each other, but are willing to help a guy out. In the midst of all of this testosterone there is still some estrogen. ....that means some of you aren't using your AI's. Get to it boys!

 

[stevejay]

Best thing to do is let her cool down. Could take a few days or more. Don't push her.
When time is right and she's ready to listen you can tell her you wanna make things right and you're willing to make the effort because you think she worth it. Ask her if she would be willing to see a marriage counselor with you. Seek one out before you mention it. Maybe even go before you ask her. Show her you're making effort.

That's my advice, and I do practice what I preach because I've done what I'm telling you to do with my wife.
We are living apart right now, but getting ready to be under the same roof again. I just kept trying without pushing. There's a fine line there you gotta learn the balance.

Marriage is a never ending learning experience. Hang in there

this by far is the best advise you can take....i have been there and back several times....dont chase her dont call her or text just give her space....believe me you will push her away....act as though you are fine go out hang around with some other people before you know it she will be home....be patient!!!

 

[mudflat]

Its the little things to her that matters. Cooking supper, washing dishes, helping with the baby, doing these things without being asked to do them. Once I realized this, after her telling me, our marriage became stronger. She knows I have sex needs and tends to them even though she doesn't want it as much. Don't let that bother you, some women just don't need sex that much. The ring, I haven't wore mine for years, that ring isn't going to keep her from leaving. Keep working at it,don't be pushy, and pray harder!