Need some genuine advice

[Mr. Humdiddly]

Alright guys. You have probably noticed my moods have been swinging back and forth fairly recently. Fact of the matter is I am smitten for this woman at work.

Two issues.

1.) One I am her direct superior.
2.) I have no game, have not even dated in 3 years.

Company policy dictates that as long as we disclose our relationship to HR and I transfer her reviews to the HR department there is no issue. However, what is the consensus regarding work relationships?

Also if you think I should go for it I definitely need some advice on how to approach it. This is not one night stand kind of deal. This is more than just lust. I have been interested in her for about a year now and have just been avoiding the situation.

However, we have recently been forced to work in the same secured lab which is pretty tiny. I joke not this could be the one. I have no relationship experience with her out of work but, I spend all day thinking about her and when she gets close to me I get flustered and end up loosing all power of articulation. She may just think I am half retarded by now.

Well anyways. Help a brother out.

 

[Mr P]

Alright guys. You have probably noticed my moods have been swinging back and forth fairly recently. Fact of the matter is I am smitten for this woman at work.

Two issues.

1.) One I am her direct superior.
2.) I have no game, have not even dated in 3 years.

Company policy dictates that as long as we disclose our relationship to HR and I transfer her reviews to the HR department there is no issue. However, what is the consensus regarding work relationships?

Also if you think I should go for it I definitely need some advice on how to approach it. This is not one night stand kind of deal. This is more than just lust. I have been interested in her for about a year now and have just been avoiding the situation.

However, we have recently been forced to work in the same secured lab which is pretty tiny. I joke not this could be the one. I have no relationship experience with her out of work but, I spend all day thinking about her and when she gets close to me I get flustered and end up loosing all power of articulation. She may just think I am half retarded by now.

Well anyways. Help a brother out.

I feel ya, I fell over heels with Mrs Pinga, we met at work.. I felt like a total retard, I was scared to open my mouth and say something stupid, but fuck it, I acted retarted & that's how I made her laugh, she tought I had down syndrome & felt bad for me, and that's how we started dating..lol

Now, all jokes aside, if you feel the spark, just wait for the right moment, read her body signals, you should know if she likes you or not... I know statistics say that office romance is not a smart thing to do, but it worked for me & we've been married for 14 years...
I think you have to read the signals, take your time & make your move when the moment is right.. good luck bro

 

[Mr. Humdiddly]

I feel ya, I fell over heels with Mrs Pinga, we met at work.. I felt like a total retard, I was scared to open my mouth and say something stupid, but fuck it, I acted retarted & that's how I made her laugh, she tought I had down syndrome & felt bad for me, and that's how we started dating..lol

Now, all jokes aside, if you feel the spark, just wait for the right moment, read her body signals, you should know if she likes you or not... I know statistics say that office romance is not a smart thing to do, but it worked for me & we've been married for 14 years...
I think you have to read the signals, take your time & make your move when the moment is right.. good luck bro

I am pretty horrible with women. As far as my ability to read them. Doesn't help that over the last three years the only female interaction I have had is with one night stands from half drunk chicks at bars.

I know this is probably impossible to explain but, what are some of the signs that a girl likes you? Sometimes I get the feeling she is flirting with me, but i can't really tell.

Mrs. Pinga feel free to jump in here at any time. Do girls actually give out signals if so what are some of the signs. She flips her hair over her shoulder a lot which makes my knees go weak, but I am not sure if that is to get the hair out of her face or if she knows I turn into a two year old when she does it and she is teasing or flirting.

Argh, why can't women be simple like subatomic molecular theory!

Also would just asking her if she wanted to grab some coffee be to cliche? Should I invite her to a formal date or should I keep it informal like coffee...

Sigh I am a fuckin mess... This would be a hell of a lot easier if I just wanted to sleep with her.

 

[Mr P]

If she's flipping her hair around you, and giving you eye contact, when she speaks to you, also if she turns around from what she's doing to face you & moves her body to face yours, this should tell you that she feels confortable & is engaged in the conversation, she probably does like you..
If she laughs, and makes you feel funnier than you really are, and smiles a lot, also when she touches you while she's talking to you in a playful way..

The main thing is ask her on a date, Ask her to go have a drink, (if she likes to do that), ?? or if you want to be cautious, ask her out for a cup of coffee, if she turns around & tells you.. Ok, lets grab a cup from the break room.. I don't know, she might not be interested in spending time with you outside of work.

I say just go for it man.. There's no way to know unless you try it.

Look at me I had down syndrome and I won her over, she laughed and went out with me..
THIS ONE'S FOR THE HANDICAP'S !!!!!!!!

 

[Mr. Humdiddly]

If she's flipping her hair around you, and giving you eye contact, when she speaks to you, also if she turns around from what she's doing to face you & moves her body to face yours, this should tell you that she feels confortable & is engaged in the conversation, she probably does like you..
If she laughs, and makes you feel funnier than you really are, and smiles a lot, also when she touches you while she's talking to you in a playful way..

The main thing is ask her on a date, Ask her to go have a drink, (if she likes to do that), ?? or if you want to be cautious, ask her out for a cup of coffee, if she turns around & tells you.. Ok, lets grab a cup from the break room.. I don't know, she might not be interested in spending time with you outside of work.

I say just go for it man.. There's no way to know unless you try it.

Look at me I had down syndrome and I won her over, she laughed and went out with me..
THIS ONE'S FOR THE HANDICAP'S !!!!!!!!

Thanks Pinga. You put it in a way even a dating tard like me can understand. I am going to try it out next Friday and observe her in the mean time.

Next Friday is a half day so we get out around lunch time. I am just gonna ask her if she wants to go grab a bite to eat. Need to do this on cycle I doubt I will have the balls for it without all this extra test.

Anyone else who wants to chime in feel free. Honestly the more advice the better.

 

[jimbo79]

Thanks Pinga. You put it in a way even a dating tard like me can understand. I am going to try it out next Friday and observe her in the mean time.

Next Friday is a half day so we get out around lunch time. I am just gonna ask her if she wants to go grab a bite to eat. Need to do this on cycle I doubt I will have the balls for it without all this extra test.

Anyone else who wants to chime in feel free. Honestly the more advice the better.

Asking her to go for coffee, or lunch is perfect..

At the same time, You could end up spending too much time together... Is that good? It can be... Are you going to bring the relationship to work?

Or is it possible to seperate the two??

Is she touchy feeling? Smiles when she see's you?

Try giving her some compliments...

Try flirting when you feel ready..But be very careful about..You don't need any harassment issues..that's just honest advice right there..

Ask her about things that bring her joy.. ask her about something that she's wearing..perhaps a nice watch or necklace..

It's sets up her mood so to say..but it's up to you to keep rolling with it..

GO HUM-D GO!!

 

[jimbo79]

I feel ya, I fell over heels with Mrs Pinga, we met at work.. I felt like a total retard, I was scared to open my mouth and say something stupid, but fuck it, I acted retarted & that's how I made her laugh, she tought I had down syndrome & felt bad for me, and that's how we started dating..lol

Now, all jokes aside, if you feel the spark, just wait for the right moment, read her body signals, you should know if she likes you or not... I know statistics say that office romance is not a smart thing to do, but it worked for me & we've been married for 14 years...
I think you have to read the signals, take your time & make your move when the moment is right.. good luck bro

So basically what your saying is...

You had to fake being normal, and then act normal to impress her?? Interesting!

 

[RJ]

Don't shit where you eat. But if you do, prepare for the worst. I have seen working relationships go completely sideways. Not trying to sway you, but this should all depend on how important she is (or a relationship if she's interested) vs. how important your job is.

I know that sounds harsh, but its true. If she was the one but it caused problem in your relationship, would you leave your job for another? Would she (again, if it got serious)?

Listen, i am a romantic (yes, its true). I have always worn my heart on my sleeve, so again I'm not trying to say its a bad idea, but it could be disastrous and believe me you don't want that at work. We spend alot of time at work, more than most other things we do in life.

All the hair flipping crap is fine, and if she's digging you thats great. But you gotta think big picture. Me, i could care less about any job. If the girl is perfect for me, I'd quit and work at a landfill if it caused problems.

I love landfills.

 

[jimbo79]

Something simple like this...

 

[cjw2021]

"Sigh I am a fuckin mess... This would be a hell of a lot easier if I just wanted to sleep with her." No libido on test?

 

[Mr. Humdiddly]

Don't shit where you eat. But if you do, prepare for the worst. I have seen working relationships go completely sideways. Not trying to sway you, but this should all depend on how important she is (or a relationship if she's interested) vs. how important your job is.

I know that sounds harsh, but its true. If she was the one but it caused problem in your relationship, would you leave your job for another? Would she (again, if it got serious)?

Listen, i am a romantic (yes, its true). I have always worn my heart on my sleeve, so again I'm not trying to say its a bad idea, but it could be disastrous and believe me you don't want that at work. We spend alot of time at work, more than most other things we do in life.

All the hair flipping crap is fine, and if she's digging you thats great. But you gotta think big picture. Me, i could care less about any job. If the girl is perfect for me, I'd quit and work at a landfill if it caused problems.

I love landfills.

She is definitely worth quitting over. I don't think it would come to that though. Chances are she would just be reassigned to another team or I could go to another department fairly easily, actually my old boss is begging me to come over to his new department.

Think I should transfer out before I make a move?

"Sigh I am a fuckin mess... This would be a hell of a lot easier if I just wanted to sleep with her." No libido on test?

I would hump a stop sign to get off. This is not about just sleeping with her though I actually want to start a serious relationship. I can have sex with anyone. A relationship is a whole new ball game.

 

[Mr. Humdiddly]

Something simple like this...

Rofl. Greens for that.

 

[TonySuicideKing]

just shoot for it man... whats the worst that can happen? she says no?

if you get pissed off or sad about it all you have to do is sort it out with your hand and your dick later on that night!!!!!

just shoot for it man. like said, ask her out for a coffee. when working together ask her about how things are going on with her an what not. get her to open up about herself more, that way she feels more comfortable with you. then move on from there man.

well im a man whore so lmao!!! if one girl says no at a party i move onto the next onto the next... i just think im meant to be one of those old men you see tagging along a 20 year old plastic surgery upped blonde chick, which you know shes only around cause of money. im not the relationship type person. but i know how to land em hahaha

 

[CenturionHRT]

Just ask her out bro. If you dont you'll probably regret it.... I've got some of those "What Ifs" in my past.

You only live once...Just take the chance, take that leap and go for it!

Good luck bro. Keep us posted!

 

[MightyMouse9999]

Bro go for it. You only live once so don't let fear get in the way. Maybe she's been holding out hoping that you'd come onto her; hence, the flirtatious gestures. You should be confident will all that testflowing through your veins. Worst case scenario she will say no or better yet she will be flattered that you finally asked. Take control bro. Ur a smart Guy. Use ur wits

 

[Mr. Humdiddly]

Bro go for it. You only live once so don't let fear get in the way. Maybe she's been holding out hoping that you'd come onto her; hence, the flirtatious gestures. You should be confident will all that testflowing through your veins. Worst case scenario she will say no or better yet she will be flattered that you finally asked. Take control bro. Ur a smart Guy. Use ur wits

Sigh unfortunately I have book smarts which is not a feasible attraction agent for the female gender. Further the potentiality exists that her cognitive abilities exceed my own. We have had some recondite discussions. I can have a discussion with her without the need to elucidate.

If you notice I edit a lot of my posts. If I didn't review my posts I think half the board would have no idea what I am talking about. It took me one day to do the write up on my Aromatase inhibitor (AI) article and 3 weeks to put it into easy to understand terms.

I have only met a few people I would consider her intellectual equal. All here on ology. Teutonic's intellectual capacity is staggering to say the least. Cyto33's knowledge base is a resource I rely on heavily. Det-Oak's ability to make complicated issues easy to understand shows a very profound understanding of concepts. Dadawg as everyone knows is like the world champion of trivial pursuit. I learn something new from him almost anytime he chimes in. Of course there is RJH90210, Ythrashin, Kane, ItalianoSPO etc as well. Getting back to my original cognitive processing though. With her I feel like my conversations are facile and I really feel gratified by our intellectual discussions. It is the small talk where I end up looking like a fool.

She once said that the muffin she was eating was good and asked me if I wanted a piece. She was holding out a piece like she was going to feed me. I was so nervous I launched into a discourse on gustation and gustatory calyculi. Not my smoothest moment. Thankfully she thought I was teasing her and joking around.

See why I need the help?

 

[RJ]

Here's my fav line which has worked for me for years.

You: "Excuse me, my magical watch says you're not wearing any panties."

Her: "Excuse me? Actually... I AM wearing panties thank you!"

You: "Dammit!! This watch does tend to run a little fast."

Listen my man, just ask her out for coffee/drinks/debate on quantum theory... whatever.

Women love confidence. That's what gets women. Confidence. Not money. Cars. Physiques.

Confidence.

 

[Mr. Humdiddly]

Here's my fav line which has worked for me for years.

You: "Excuse me, my magical watch says you're not wearing any panties."

Her: "Excuse me? Actually... I AMwearing panties thank you!"

You: "Dammit!! This watch does tend to run a little fast."

Listen my man, just ask her out for coffee/drinks/debate on quantum theory... whatever.

Women love confidence. That's what gets women. Confidence. Not money. Cars. Physiques.

Confidence.

Lol! I desiderate a magic watch.

Confidence is a trait I definitively lack when it comes to interpersonal face to face communication. If I iterate my projected pick-up line prior to the actual event would that be an aid. I would probably feel a little weird standing in front of a mirror practicing how to ask a girl out but, this girl is worth the humiliation it it helps.

Also if she accepts should I endeavor to discuss matters unrelated to work or just let the conversation go where it will?

Damn I am a newb at this stuff...

 

[RJ]

Lol! I desiderate a magic watch.

Confidence is a trait I definitively lack when it comes to interpersonal face to face communication. If I iterate my projected pick-up line prior to the actual event would that be an aid. I would probably feel a little weird standing in front of a mirror practicing how to ask a girl out but, this girl is worth the humiliation it it helps.

Also if she accepts should I endeavor to discuss matters unrelated to work or just let the conversation go where it will?

Damn I am a newb at this stuff...

Ok Hum, you're overthinking this. Almost as bad as newbs with their first cycle questions. lol

Just relax. If she says yes. Start with some comfort talk. What's she like to do for fun, blah blah, etc. Unless her pussy gets wet from talk of molecular string theory, I would stay away from work related talk.

I find a great place for a date is a walk in a park, or take her on a hike (not Mt. Everest, just through a state park or something). Or just bring a blanket and some wine and sit in the park and just talk. People watch, whatever. Or maybe take her ice skating, roller skating, rock climbing. Chicks dig a guy who knows how to have fun. And if you can get her laughing, you got her. Just try not to overthink it. You're a smart guy, lay off the nerd talk and just be you.

Holy shit this thread has gone

 

[cyto33]

walk up to her look her right in the eyes, reach down and grab her right bt the crotch.
tell her that she is going out with you and if she hesitates squeeze harder and say 8pm.
if that dont work and the restraining order isn't in place yet there is always duct tape and rope.

but really i was in the same boat not to long ago and it didn't end well. i left the job and she stayed. i can get a job in the blink of an eye so its no big deal for me to leave. things went great while we had been work ing in the same place because i was managment and she like the power end of it that i had. the new place i was just a supervisor not the same kick.
but hey its your choice.
if you really want to and cant do it face to face even tho that shows your a better person then do it via email.