So this is juced_porkchops story in summery or id be here for days typing;
I FOUND my granddad dead when I was 5 and went to my mom and said (vovo is sleeping with his eyes open) that was first traumatic thing that happened to me because I spent all my time with him and my grandma before school and a few hrs after school because my parent where working, I feel that started my rebel nature in school, class clown/joker type of thing and drove teachers nuts.
When I was about 12 my aunt hung herself (only found out details when a bit older though) and these two things led me to have a big issue with death and a "fuk the world" mentality up until I was just about finished highschool.
I always felt like I wanted to be bigger for protection, I was never the smallest but I was rarely the tallest (im like 5 7

but built wide which is great for mass. I tried sticking to working out a few times from age 18-20 but it never stuck because gains came soo slow and I always had a little bit of fat in torso. I stopped eating meat fully at around age 19 age 21-23 I stuck to it and then did first cycle, I was already working security at night club by age 22 and pretty much it helped job and I think main thing was as an outlet for stress AND to prove to everyone not only do you NOT need meat to live but that you could get muscular as heck without it, I got into body building and proved everyone wrong.
I was the bigger guy in the group from age 24 till now and liked that I could represent a lifestyle seen by many as crazy or impossible.
Some people would laugh and joke when I told them I didnt eat meat (mostly at work doing security , which I did till about age 26) and they would think I was just pulling their leg till they saw I wasnt and would shut up ASAP. But I took no offense, joy actually;
Also from highschool to now I never had a girl issue, although I have only had 3 gfs and been with under 10, I have always had mostly girlfriends and rarely get along with guys, specially big groups of them and spent most of my time with my girls, which to this day I am good friends with most of them still.
I have a big respect for women and would hate to hear guys go off on this or that girl they fucked or their thoughts of some of my girlfriends, so it is not unnormal to be 5 or 6 deep and be the only guy in group, I like it even if just friends, being surrounded by women? Fuck why wouldent I like it haha.
I got hated on that a bit from a few guys I knew that would want to come over or bitch about not being invited when I had a bunch over at my house for a lil party, but didnt lose sleep over it. Guys generally just dont "get it" so I pitty the haters i had.
Point is I never lifted for girls as some do which I think is a bit shallow ( no offence to those) I always lifted for myself, to prove how big I could get and that getting (cover of MD magazine big) was not impossible (still more work to go though lol) and to prove that with right diet meat or no meat is NOT a big factor. And I am happy with my path.
The last year or so I have had a rough one and my training is only now getting back into order but thank muscle memory

.
When/why I first used aas?
Well I was in bad car accident when I was 21/22 and my doc rec a deca cycle to help back and healing..
In office I was first like "nahh I dont want to mess up my liver and heart" then paused and asked him if it came in pills ( I knew nothing about aas cept from the media so you can imagine my outlook at the time) he said no and said do some research and on next visit we will talk about it.
Long story short is I did 2 deca cycles from him and on the 3rd I added test with it on my own. *dont do deca only cycles, my circumstances where unique*
Gains came, back hurt less, I felt stronger and over the course of the 1.5yrs I did A LOT of research.
The doc opened my eyes to the aas and all the bs said about them through my own research, I am glad he did or I might still think soo much of the crazy things the average person thinks about aas and may not have cycled (or atleast that early)
They stopped selling deca in Canada (for political reasons and pressure IMO) and I went on my own for everything. Over the next 5 or so years I tried a few types of cycles and did countless research and started helping the forums.
For me its about stress relieve and showing you can get big without the bs mindset (you need meat) and to this day I love to lift, grow, feel productive and if anything things got a bit more complicated with women because of a crush here and there I tried to keep civil (very picky I guess).
In highschool I did reckless things like drink or take other things as a form of coping with stress and I guess I also used lifting and aas as a sub for that on top of my other reasons, guess I got many.
And whats odd to many and me, I dont know many people in real life that lift, I have always done it on my own and same with cycles.
Only one guy I know that did few cycles but looked like shit and I tried to show him he doesnt know what hes doing and has to be strict, only to see him start cycle and see FB pics of him with wings fries and pitchers of beer at the bar. : / and then him ask what I am taking because im getting soo big (it was same gear/lab, cept he was actually taking much more than me)
My point is I know no one that uses aas, and besides a few girls that go to gym for general workouts, no one that lifts.
I am the only one in my family that lives meat free that I know of (big family) and iv done it all on my own. No one to guide me in diet, aas, lifting, NOTHING, not a single person. Only when in rehab after accident for 1.5yrs I got some pointers in rehab room (physio rehab, never drug rehab) but other than that I had to do massive amount of research from nothing to everything.
But I am happy I did.
Its made me a stronger person and had lead me to knowing A LOT about aas, peps, lifting and diet and easy to spot BS info. This has led me to being able to help others and why I also love to spend my time on the forums.
Anyways I could go on but ill cut it here, was supposed to be a summery .